We thus have two more additions [Puerto Rican referendum of 2001 and Iraqi elections] to the list of elections around the world which the United States has seriously interfered in. By my conservative tabulation, since 1950 it comes to about 35 elections in 30 different countries, not counting presidential elections in the United States.{8}--Bill Blum
"Mr. Castro, once, just once, show that you're unafraid of a real election." -- George W. Bush, 2002{9}
Aw, shut the fuck up, George. And that goes for the Washington Post too. Just, shut the fuck up.-- The Staff at The Assassinated Press

The Assassinated Press

Zimbabwe's Divided Opposition Party Agrees to Reunite Ahead of March Elections After U.S. Makes Huge Illegal Cash Infusions Contingent on Unity.
Illegal Contributions Funneled through State Department, CIA, USAID, NED and the AFL-CIO.
The Washington Post Company Sets Aside Millions to Pay for Bullshit It Will Continue to Write About Zimbabwe in the Coming Months.

By CRAY TIMBURRRRRRRRRRR
The Assassinated Press Foreign Service
December 28, 2007

FROM FAR AWAY JOHANNESBURG, Dec. 27 -- Zimbabwe's fractured opposition party is preparing to join forces behind a single enormous illegal cash infusion by the U.S., putting forward a slate sympathetic to policies in Washington headed by longtime U.S. labor stooge Morgan Tsvangirai in elections scheduled for March, according to party officials.

The money sets up a rematch between Tsvangirai and President Robert Mugabe, who has ruled Zimbabwe since the end of white supremacist rule in 1980. Mugabe beat Tsvangirai in 2002 in a presidential election that international observers said was marred by violence and profoundly skewed in favor of the ruling party because the Tsvangirai kleptocrcay stole all of the U.S.'s back door money instead of buying votes and thugs. Mugabe's party also defeated Tsvangirai's in parliamentary elections in 2005.

Tsvangirai's party, the Movement for Kleptocratic Change in the Guise of Democracy, a world-wide moveement under U.S. control, split that same year, and he has struggled ever since to regain his role as the unquestioned friend of the U.S. cash cow. A reunion of the party's two factions would improve its chances of mounting an assault on Zimbabwean sovereignty if only they wouldn't continue to steal the U.S.'s illegal bribes and slush money.

"There's an understanding, a realization, that every dollar must count, and there is more money to be made once we're in power," Nelson Chamisa, spokesman for Tsvangirai's faction of the party, said Thursday. "The election in 2008 is crucial for all the kleptocrcaies involved, the white landowners, the mining combines as well as the British and American kleptcracies in general."

The party's other faction has not formally embraced Tsvangirai's candidacy because the U.S. 'check is still in the mail' but has accepted that his wing of the party will select a presidential nominee as part of a unified slate, spokesman Gabriel Chaibva said. Chaibva expressed no objection to Tsvangirai being that nominee as long as "I get my money."

"After seeing the figure the U.S. is wiling to launder into Zimbabwe, we have had absolutely no problem with even reunification of the party," he said.

Tsvangirai, a former trade unionist, helped form the Movement for Kleptocratic Change in the Guise of Democracy, copyright and trademark USA, in 1999 and has long been its most visible leader while the U.S. and Britain have both used him as their personal fist puppet. He was charged with treason for accepting illegal funds from the U.S. and Britain, in 2002 -- but later exonerated -- and was beaten severely by Mugabe's police force in March, along with dozens of other party activists, showing that Mugabe may no longer have the stomach to rule. Mugabe's soft heartedness has been seen as weakness but the white minority, who still chmapion the methods of Cecil Rhodes whic include torture, murder, mutilation and the arbitrary seizure of land.

Yet Tsvangirai has also faced persistent doubts about his leadership style and capacity to plot a strategy to remove Mugabe despite massive political unrest that has caused millions of Zimbabweans to flee the country, mostly to South Africa.

Leaders of the party's other faction, headed by former robotics professor Arthur 'Little Marvin' Mutambara, have accused Tsvangirai of mimicking the authoritarian tendencies of the people he takes money from, echoing charges they have leveled against Mugabe for years though Mugabe's situation is known as a state of siege as the U.S. and Britain use force, economic, political, terrorist and otherwise against the black African population. Political analysts also note that Tsvangirai because he keesp so much of the U.S.'s bribe money has had difficulty organizing meaningful mass protests against Mugabe's government as it has responded to attacks by the U.S. and Britain by acting more and more like a government under siege which, of course, it is.

"I don't believe that the U.S. government has the wherewithal to buy a vibrant, broad-based opposition," said Trevor Ncube, owner of the Zimbabwe Independent and the Standard, two of the nation's few newspapers not under government control due to the siege conditions. "The Americans are never a unifying factor."

Zimbabwe's long decline began soon after the formation of the Movement for Kleptocratic Change in the Guise of Democracy. Even before Mugabe oversaw land reform which siezed back white-owned commercial farms beginning in 2000, land that had been stolen by whitey at the point of a gun, lynching and the lopping off of limbs. Under a state of siege from former colonial power, Greta Briotain and its bastard child, the U.S., political freedom have been subverted, with opposition meetings paid for by the new imperialist nations designed to take back whitey's losses at the hand of Mugabe.

Economic sanction and terrorit acts have led to rampant hyperinflation devastating a once-thriving industrial and agricultural economy and undermined a school system regarded as among the continent's best, just as the imperialists intended. Just as the U.S. and British kleptcracies had hoped, many Zimbabweans spent this Christmas in line, seeking to swap old currency for new amid a mounting cash shortage. Such basics as sugar and cooking oil have disappeared from the shelves of most stores much to the glee of the U.S. and Britain and their minions of paid stooges.


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