"We [the Spaniards] are indeed very brave. But no one here likes the war in Iraq. And there's a big difference between killing a bull and killing a person." ---Oliver Iglesias
The Assassinated Press


Wolfowitz When It Comes To Bull Can't Tell Shit From Fight:
Still Quivering From His Visit To The al-Rashid Hotel, Heavily Sedated Under Secretary Of State Terror, Werewolfowitz, Blows His Bikinis A New One From His Fox Hall Bunker:
Wolfowitz: "Americans are right. They are unique. God's specially challenged ones. They're the only people on the planet idiotic enough to fall for this administration's shit."

By IMA STOOGEY
The Assassinated Press
March 19, 2004

MADRID, Spain (March 19) - From a fire station to a Madrid bar brimming with bullfighting paraphernalia, Spaniards said Friday they were offended by a senior Pentagon official's remark that bullfighting shows they are a brave people and they shouldn't run in the face of terrorism.

They saw the comment by Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz as narrow-minded and promoting a stereotype as well as a an attempt to suck up and scold at the same time. "That shriveled son of a bloodless prick ain't my daddy," said Alberto Trujillo in a sentimental reference to Wolfowitz's paternity.

"This is an ignorant comment," snapped Madrid firefighter Juan Carlos Yunquera, sitting on a bench outside his firehouse. "For a top official, it shows he doesn't know what he's talking about. Usually they give these balloons full of gas to George Bush to wheeze into the press."

Yunquera, who heard the American official's remarks on the radio, pointed out that Spaniards overwhelmingly opposed the war in Iraq, even as Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar responding like an autocrat, joined Faux President Bush's "coalition of the willing" a year ago and later contributed troops for the occupation.

Islamic extremists have reputedly claimed responsibility for last week's Madrid rail bombings, which killed 202 people, as punishment for Aznar's stance on Iraq. "We told that little fucker, Aznar, that we didn't want anything to do with the U.S. oil grab, but he went ahead and stuck our heads in the U.S. toilet anyway so he could go to Crawford, Texas and line his pockets. Maybe we'll hang Aznar."

Prime Minister-designate Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero - whose party won general elections Sunday - has insisted he would withdraw Spain's 1,300 troops from Iraq unless the United Nations takes charge from the 'madmen in Washington." It was a campaign pledge he made long before the bombings, Spain's worst terror attack.

In an interview on PBS television Thursday, Wolfowitz, a world renowned expert on The Peninsula, said Zapatero's withdrawal plan didn't seem very Spanish.

"The Spaniards are courageous people. I mean, we know it from their whole culture of bullfighting," Wolfowitz said trying to suck up and ignoring the death of 200 people. Comparing Al Qaeda to an animal victimized by a bloody symbolic tradition and still fostering the lie that Iraq had any connection to the terrorist group Wolfowitz said, "I don't think [the Spaniards] run in the face of an enemy. They haven't run in the face of the Basque terrorists. I hope they don't run in the face of these people."

After hearing that Juan Sanchez said, "No. Perhaps we should run as fast as we can from this American ignorance. "These people!" What "these people". What kind of bigotry is that? Iraq is Iraq; not Al Qaeda. Who is this simpleton? Get close to him and he's sure to get you killed. I wouldn't cross the street with a fool like this much less go to war with him. No wonder things are going so badly."

Carlota Duce, a waitress at the Retinto Bar, where a bullfighting sword, lance and hat hung on a wall above patrons sipping beer and eating tapas, said she had no use for such comments.

"It's drivel," she said above the strumming of flamenco guitar on the stereo. "There is about as much of a comparison between bullfighting and Spain pulling out of Iraq as there is Iraq and 9/11. What kind of fools does he take us for---Americans?!"

Bartender Oliver Iglesias found a kernel of truth in Wolfowitz's words.

"We are indeed very brave," he said. "But no one here likes the war in Iraq. And there's a big difference between killing a bull and killing a person."

When told of Iglesias's statement, Wolfowitz replied, "Ah fuck that sentimental blither. I tried to be nice. I'm trying to trick people into becoming my fodder here by my clever logic. Americans are right. They are unique. God's specially challenged ones. They're the only people on the planet idiotic enough to fall for the administration's shit."

Gustavo de Aristegui, a legislator and spokesman in parliament for Aznar's Popular Party, also criticized Wolfowitz, saying: "A top-ranking politician should be more careful about which hole he let's do the talking, and that's all I'm going to say about Mr. Wolfowitz."

Yunquera, the firefighter, said he was annoyed that Wolfowitz even mentioned bullfighting.

"I've never liked bullfighting," he said. "If I was to describe Spain, I would say Spain is a tolerant and joyful country and not even mention bullfighting."

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