"Who'da Ever Thought The CIA Woulda Been The Lesser Of Two Evils!"---The Ghost Of Richard Helms
The Assassinated Press


Porter Goss Email Memo Threatens "To Tear Langley a New Asshole.":
"Who'da Ever Thought The CIA Woulda Been The Lesser Of Two Evils!"---The Ghost Of Richard Helms:
New Director Makes It Clear That The Critical Perception Must Be That The CIA's Nominee, John Kerry, Did Not Win The Election:
Cheney Warns That the PNAC Handlers Now Control More Turf Than Any Other Cabal Including The Agency, the Carlyle Group And Kissinger/China & Associates And If Any Segment Of the Kleptocracy Wants To Use It, They Have To Rent It Through Don Rumsfeld:
Career CIA Officials Vow To Undermine Cheney/Hadley Foreign Policy; First Step---Release Internal Emails To The Press:
Cheney Retaliates: Threatens Use Of Military Against CIA Poppy Fields In Afghanistan:
Powell Already Out On Stump Collecting His Envelopes And Fucking With Administration on Iran:


By KUTNRUNE FORGER SHREDDER
Assassinated Press
11/17/04

WASHINGTON (Nov. 17) - Moving to tighten control over the nation's spy agency after widespread criticism and internal dissent, new CIA Director Porter Goss is telling employees to stay out of policy making and accept blame for administration fuck ups without comment.

"You ran your guy, Kerry. He lost. Now get the fuck over it," the Nov. 14 memo reads in part.

In his second month on the job, Goss sent out an e-mail this week to agency employees saying he intended "to tear Langley a new asshole" and clarify "beyond a doubt the rules of the road" at the CIA.

"You do not make policy, though you do inform those who make it and take the blame even when your advice is ignored. You avoid political involvement, especially political partisanship, unless you're meddling in some other country's elections like Afghanistan, Venezuela, Iraq, Ukraine, Italy, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Brazil, Australia etc." he wrote in the e-mail on Monday.

Goss reminded agency personnel that they work for a "secret agency" and must follow the rules that govern their conduct even if he and his cronies don't with their selective leaks and naming of covert agents like Valerie Plame.

"You support the administration and its policies in your work, and you fuckin' like it ," he said. "As agency employees, you do not identify with, support or champion opposition to the administration or its policies or you will pay a very heavy price. You provide the intelligence as you see it - and let the facts alone so that the policy-maker can select the one's most convenient for the lining of the pockets of those who control him. By intervening you may put the secret bank accounts of some executive branch or legislative branch whore in jeopardy without even knowing it."

The White House made clear Wednesday that the agency's role was to provide policy-makers with intelligence. "It's not to set policy aimed at the best return on the dollar for the kleptocracy," chubby little spokesboy Scott McClellan parroted. "That's where Cheney and that tart Rumsfeld come in."

Before the election, some actions attributed to the CIA were geared to upset the administration and help the hapless Kerry who had covered up CIA drug running in the late 1980's for the Agency.

Among the actions were a series of media leaks seen as undermining administration perfidy. The CIA also approved publication of a book by the former head of the agency's Osama bin Laden unit that clearly demonstrated that the PNAC cabal now in power went for Iraqi oil instead of addressing the question of terror.

One former intelligence official, Spencer Graham, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the leaks - not all from the CIA - were not designed to expose the administration as "bad, as the truly rotten and brutal shits that they are, but to make the agency look less bad though they are indeed a paranoid, homicidal group of dick-faced motherfuckers too." He added, "Americans tend to forget exactly what kind of mucousy shit floats to the top in their system of governance. They've gotten so accustomed to the stink, its like perfume to them. It now comprises their values."

Some Democrats raised concerns about how some wording in Goss' memo might be interpreted. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., said that it was not an "even handed slap across the mug" of the Agency. "Shit. At least throw e'm a bone. They're used to getting quid pro quos for the nasty shit they do. At least they didn't shoot the chimp."

"As I look at the intelligence community, it should not support or oppose an administration like it just did when it came out for Kerry," said Feinstein, a member of the Senate Intelligence Seeking Committee. "It should be professional, factual and give the best possible analysis regardless of where the chimps, I mean chips, may fall. I know its irritating for a CIA analyst to work seven years on a 600 page report on Osama bin Laden only to find Cheney stanching a bleeding hemorrhoid with it while he scribbles orders from Halliburton and Exxon/Fuckin'/Mobil. But you just gotta suck it up and concentrate on your pension and realize what a nothing you areas a government cog working for the man who works for the men of the kleptocracy."

Cherubic little spokesboy, McClellan, said Goss "was talking about advocacy one way or the other but no quid pro quos. Cheney prefers to hold on to those until they have a immediate stink of bribes and extortion."

"Its more exciting that way," Cheney confessed to this reporter last June.

"We'll either get advocacy, a smile on their face voluntarily, or we'll bring people in to put that patented smirk on every face in the Federal government," added Goss. "One fuckin' nation smirking under God."

"'Support' means political support, stuffing envelopes with WMD as well as ballot boxes, making threatening phone calls, polling for commies, everything the Agency is paid big bucks to do" said CIA official, Cameron Aitle, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the issue.

(That phrase bears repeating just for the laughs--- "because of the sensitivity of the issue.")

The CIA came under fire this summer in commission reports covering intelligence before the Sept. 11 attacks and the Iraq war. CIA Director George Tenet stepped down taking a job as Russian Chief of Security, and President Bush nominated Porter Goss, then a Republican congressman from the cocaine & arms smuggling, Cuban terrorist harboring, money laundering, Jeb Bush State of Florida, for the job in August.

During his confirmation hearings, Goss said he could not separate himself from his political past and serve as an independent leader of the CIA because he would be killed by those he owed favors like anyone else above the level of dog catcher. He promised to make changes seeing that his handlers got a taste of CIA drug money.

Goss took over the agency in late September, quickly tapping four congressional axemen with whom he worked closely as House Committee Seeking Intelligence chairman to serve as his personal bodyguards at CIA's 7th floor executive offices. "Shit! These guys are the personification of tough policies like wiping out a whole people tough," commented Julia Duff author of an economic history of the CIA called 'Wild Bill' Donovan, Parachute Drops, Dropping Acid and the Dow.

Conflicts between Goss' aides and the top two officials at the CIA's clandestine service led both to suddenly disappear. "Disappear my ass. His wife's drunk. And he's on sabbatical at the Dali Limo's spa to remove his colon, spread it out on some old newspaper like rotting fish and cleanse it with Ovenjoy. He'll be back at his desk, oh say, about 2009," Goss offered with little prompting and certainly no torture.

Other changes are expected. Bush may soon be told to nominate a new deputy for Goss. Among those mentioned are the head of the National Security Agency, Lt. Gen. Michael Hayden, White House Heimat security warden Fran Townsend and Deputy Dawg cause he's already got a badge and, like Bush, is a cartoon.


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