The Assassinated Press

Sleeping Booty and Beasty Boy Share the Tea Bagger Stage.
O’Donnell’s and Paladino’s Tea Bagger Principles on Display.
Candidates Insist Their Views on Masturbation and Bestiality Made Sweet Music Together at Stategy Session in July.

By ROB M. RIGHT
Tha Assassinated Press & Fly on the Wall Media
9/16/10

You can almost say one thing about racist and misogynist Tea bagger/Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino—The man likes to see women fucked by horses and he ain’t backing down. That shows real Tea Bagger stick to-itness, literally.

It’s what his kind e.g. guidos in the construction business enjoy watching. Like the founding fathers. Paladino and his business associates are also racists which of course is the heart and soul of the Tea Bagger movement, their spiritual raisin d’etre that the rest of the country would do well not to underestimate. Why else would some of the wealthiest bigots in America, not to mention the Australian genocidal maniac Rupert Murdoch, pump tens of millions of dollars into the ‘grass roots’ effort now that the ‘intellectual’ think tank movement the wealthy began funding in the sixties has been exposed as an utter fraud? Christ, if bad poets were bought for pittances by USAID and the CIA, how easy do you think it was to buy some soulless political theory major from Harvard or Dartmouth. And people say poetry doesn’t lead the way.

But as for Tea Bagger/Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O'Donnell, she’s a hypocrite. The woman masturbates. You know she does. I know she does. Maybe the only one who doesn’t know is O’Donnell herself.

That’s what makes a transcript of a Republican cum Tea Bagger strategy session that took place in July of this year at a summer home of right wing billionaire Charles Koch all the more revealing.

A Gaggle of Tea Baggers and At Least One Tea Bugger

At the meeting Tea Bagger candidates and hopefuls were introduced to old line Republican strategists like Karl Rove and George Will. In attendance representing tea bagger candidates were Sharon Angle, Joe Miller, Rand Paul, Carl Paladino and Christine O’Donnell. Sarah Palin was scheduled to be at the meeting but the timing was in conflict with her taping of a segment for The Home Shopping Network.

Dumb Is The New Smart

The individuals in attendance were divided into groups. Each group was comprised of two Tea Baggers and one old line Republican Strategist.

Paladino and O’Donnell were paired off with George Will. The transcript of their strategy session reads as follows.

Paladino: I hate niggers and I like to watch woman getting reamed out by pack animals. Maybe you and me can run on the same ticket some time, Christine, if you get my drift.

O’Donnell: If you masturbate with lust in your mind like enormous stallions mounting frail young female flesh, why would you need me.

P: You’re the young female flesh, asshole. I’m masturbating to you.

O: Right now!

P: No, George is jacking me off right now.

Will: (Wiping his hand on his bow tie) I’m quite impressed by your no masturbation strategy. If you can get people to believe that you can get them to believe in anything. Skeptical voters may want to smell your finger, so always use a vibrator or wine bottle, or whatever you evangelical virgin types use.

P: That’s classic hypocrisy. I can’t get away with masturbating to a bunch of run of the mill bigoted emails. But then again I don’t have a nice ass and present my twat as all but still in the original wrap. Like a fucking Rockwell painting.

W: Mr. Paladino has a point but I think to be a viable candidate in November you might want to spread it around a little bit. Perhaps, we could meet for a little strategy session say next week in Room B322 at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington DC. Just tell the concierge you’re there to see Mrs. Doubtfire.

P: Hey, bowtie get your own cooch. You wanna end up in a cement speedo. Your party is dead. Me and Ms. O’Donnell here are Tea Baggers and one of us is soon to be a Tea Bugger. We’re fuckin’ soul mates linked for eternity in a our hatred and fear of the other by which I mean Blacks, Latinos, Asians, French cuisine and PhDs. You, you’re just a fucking salon phony. So back off or I’ll go all fucking guido on you.

O: Oh, Carl, you’re so forceful. Not like my pussy assed gold digging boy friend. I’m getting wet--- without touching myself.

P: Ah, my little extra virgin pudgy Olive Oil. Meet me at Delilah’s Den on Route 9 this Saturday and I’ll bang you up against the Kotex machine. I’m a charter member.

O: Jeez. I’d love nothing better but I’m attending a chastity rally in Juno with Sarah and Bristol and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Then Sarah and I are going on a little retreat in the woods for the weekend---- to pray. Sarah promised to use no hands but she did say something about speaking in tongues.

W: Aren’t you just the disingenuous little liar?

O: Shut up you prissy fuck. We’re all liars here. Maybe, if you and Rove and Fromm and the other old obsolete Republican cranks shut the fuck up, I’ll blow you--- no hands.

P: What about Beck? Will you blow Beck?

O: Eeeeeeew. Ick. You know who I’d like to blow----------Obama!

P: Me Too!

W: Me Three!


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