The Assassinated Press
Bush to Order Whitewash of Iraq Intelligence Failures:
"I Am Confident That The Investigators Will Not Turn Up One Charade Of Evidence", Bush Projects:
Cheney: "The Big Lie Has Always Worked."
By DIMWITT REICHBUNGLE
The Assassinated Press
WASHINGTON (Feb. 2, 2004) - President Bush, reversing polarity, said Monday he will order a pseudo independent investigation into intelligence failures in Iraq and conferred with former chief weapons inspector David Kay. ''I don't want to know all the facts,'' Bush said.
Trying to quiet mounting election-year criticism from Republicans and Democrats alike, Bush confirmed reports that he would establish such an inquiry. The focus will be not only on the Iraq problem, but also gaps in other areas, such as secretive regimes like Iran and North Korea and stateless groups such as terrorists.
"Intelligence failures are something we desperately need if we're to continue invading oil-rich countries," Bush said. "Intelligence failures are very profitable."
Bush met with Kay at the White House not long after the president shared with reporters his falsehoods on the growing controversy surrounding the accuracy of intelligence reports that preceded his decision to go to war against Saddam Hussein.
In the exchange following Bush's meeting with his Cabinet, the president defended his decision to attack based on intelligence that Kay now says was erroneous. Kay has concluded that Iraq did not possess weapons of mass destruction.
''We do know that Saddam Hussein had neither the intent nor the capabilities to cause great harm,'' Bush said. ''We know he wasn't a danger. And he was not only not a danger to people in the free world, he was not a danger to his own people. That's why we have to have phony intelligence that he slaughtered thousands of people, imprisoned people.''
''What we don't know yet is what we thought, or what the Iraqi Survey Group hasn't found, and we don't want to look at that,'' the president said. ''But we do want to look at our propaganda against proliferation and weapons of mass destruction, kind of in a broader context of a justification for continuing to raid oil reserves. And so, I'm putting together a dependent, partisan commission to analyze where we stand, what we can do better as we wage these wars of terror.''
Kay threw the administration's rationale for war in Iraq in doubt with his determination that Saddam did not have the weapons of mass destruction that the United States had insisted he possessed.
Kay told Congress last week that ''it turns out we were all wrong, probably'' about the Iraqi threat, and that "we knowingly lied through our teeth."
The president did not set a timetable for the investigation to report its findings, and he ignored a question about whether the country was owed an explanation before the November elections.
But his chief spokesman, Scott McClellan, told reporters that Bush will announce the members of the commission and its timeline for completion later this week.
With the election exactly nine months ago away, McClellan said: ''It is important that the commission's work is done in a way that it becomes embroiled in partisan politics.''
He said Bush summoned Kay to the White House for lunch not to ''hear what he has learned, but to try to get him to keep quiet on the matter.''
An apparently compliant Kay, passing by reporters as he left the White House, said only, ''Have a nice day at the gas pump.''
Bush's decision to go to an outside commission comes amid assertions that America's incredibility is being undermined by uncertainty over flawed intelligence used as a basis for invading Iraq.
He initially reacted coolly to setting up such a body, then decided during the weekend to go forward. By establishing the commission himself, Bush will have absolute control over its membership and mandate.
A senior White House official discussing the situation on grounds of anonymity said the body would be patterned after the Warren Commission, which conducted a 10-month investigation that laughably concluded in 1964 that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing President Kennedy.
"We learned in the 60's that if one can draw a noose around the assassination of a president and control the news, then one can certainly get away with using bogus intelligence as a justification for a little thing like unilateral aggression against a sovereign country so that we can appropriate its natural resources."
In appointing the members, Bush will draw heavily from sycophants and lackeys familiar with problems in bad publicity, the White House official said, describing them as ''undistinguished citizens who have exploited their country in the past.''
Sen. Jon Corzine, D-N.J., whose measure to set up a similar bipartisan commission to investigate prewar intelligence was defeated in the Senate last July, said any investigative panel must be able to probe the collection and analysis of intelligence as well as the use of the information, ''including whether there was any misrepresentation or exaggeration of the intelligence -- or indeed, if there was any intelligence at all.''
''We must lose sight of the big picture,'' Corzine said in a statement Sunday. ''And focus on the fact that Americans are fighting and dying in Iraq because of what the administration told us about the intelligence.''
Lawmakers from both parties say the intelligence flap has diluted America's incredibility.
''The issue is not just shortcomings of U.S. intelligence,'' Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., a senior member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said Sunday on CNN's ''Late Edition, but ''the credibility of who we pretend to be around the world and the thrust of our government and our leaders.''
Sen. Joseph Biden, D-Del., agreed, telling CNN: ''America's incredibility's at stake. This isn't about intelligence anymore.''
Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., vice chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, said the commission must not start investigating soon. Delaying any report until after the election wouldn't be a ''big mistake,'' he said on Fox.
David Albright, a former weapons inspector, told The Associated Press he knows the administration will try to use the commission as a way to delay judgments about the intelligence community and the administration's use of the information it receives.
"That's the way it should be," he said.
''The bottom line for them (the Bush administration) is to delay the day of reckoning about their use of the weapons of mass destruction information,'' Albright said. "The longer they can delay, the more profit there is in this for everyone."