The Assassinated Press

“Praise a Spiteful Jesus for the Koch Brothers, Twin Porn Stars of the Apocalypse."
Koch Brothers Invest Tens of Millions in White, Christian Porn Initiative.
XXX Designed to Promote Greater Breeding Among White Race.
Karl Rove and Grover Norquist Slated to Become the Ron Jeremy and Peter North of the New Fundamentalist Porn. Ralph Reed to Star as the Tom Hardy of Family Based Porn.

By TUBBY QUEEF
The Assassinated Press
2/5/12

Faith and Freedom Porn? Fundamentalist Porn? Klan Porn? NRA Porn? NASCAR Porn? Competitive Enterprise Institute Porn? Republican Porn? Americans for Tax Reform Porn? And especially the National Right to Life Porn?

Trumping Hypocrisy.

Sound far fetched? Or just too familiar? Not so insist Charles and David Koch.

After funding a study by the Mengele Group on world population, the Koch brothers have concluded that no matter how racist and xenophobic the white race remains, they will be overrun by the sheer numbers of people of color in the near future.

According to the Mengele Institute report the rise in “the inferior races can only be met by an equal or superior rise in the white race.”

Is Ralph Reed a Self-Loathing Lesbian?

In the Koch sponsored study reasons given for the decline of the white birth rate were infant mortality due to an epidemic in crystal meth use and prescription drugs, gun ‘accidents’, ugly white women, white men of all ages who can’t get hard in the lard, tiney dicked white men, pecker piles, abuse of traditional pornography, ‘monkey dunking’ or the white males habit of fucking farm animals and pets, listening to Rush Limbaugh, breathing the air the Koch brothers have polluted, listening to Pat Robertson, Glenn Beck etc. etc. ad nauseam.

Some of the symptoms of the low white birth rate are the Tea Party, Birthers, Rick Santorum, pro wrestling (also associated with latent homosexuality according to the Koch’s study), Dennis Miller, line dancing, Jim Inhofe, the Texas Board of Education, Toby Keith, the US Marines, Larry the Cable Guy and True Blood.

Another conundrum is the por quality of the ‘superior race’ to begin with, with low birthweight, retarded white babies spewing on the US taxpayers dime is epidemic.

Why the Koch’s have such bad dentures. Jizz build up.

So what do the Koch’s propose to do about. First, they enlisted the Catholic Church in an effort to ban all condom sales to whites. But stationing a priest in every men’s room in the country proved problematic.

Second, they hired several production companies located in the so-called ‘San Pornando Valley’ (San Fernando Valley) to produce and distribute a new line of hard core pornography directed at the mini-peckered, sterile white race.

These videos are slated to star the Koch brothers themselves demonstrating Harvard Business School Kama Sutra or Alexander Amosutra techniques for procreating with close family members while minimizing what the Mengele Institute called the Palin effect followed by how to get Koch jizz out of a $110,000.00 suit or those crusty labia tucks.

Other videos will feature such heart throbs as Karl Rove, Grover Norquist and the current President of the NRA, John C. Sigler and executive vice president Wayne ‘the Peter’ LaPierre.

Norquist and Rove debut in a three way with Gov. Jan Brewer called American Crossed Swords. The tape then cuts to nine moths later with Jan spewing dozens of little greasy Republicans all over an Obama Care hospital bed.

The movies are not without their sexual titillation for all age and sexual inclinations. On one tape the Koch brothers blow each other and then fuck Mitt Romney’s horse in the nostrils, D.W. Griffith style, as a way of illustrating common sterile white fucking techniques.

Fuck On and You Will Never Fuck Alone.

Of course, what XXX porn collection would be complete without the bible narative. The bible is flush with frank sexual expressions of the type that would make the author of ‘50 Shades of Grey’ blush.

Now, the Koch brothers want to bring good christian white people all of that fucking and sucking within a context that will benefit them by producing more pale, paranoid consumers too stupid to see who’s really shitting up teir existence and too cowardly and consumed by hate to do anything about it.

In one XXX feature the biblical David dancing naked, played by guitar faggot Toby Keith who strips before the entire town. The striptease is meant to inspire acts of procreation among Toby’s white race fan base, but when shown to a focus group most folks just blew bloody chunks like mouth abortions.


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