“To wage by force or guile eternal war.”--SATAN in John Milton’s Paradise Lost

The Assassinated Press

Imperialism’s a Drag---Unless You’re Some Fat Cat Kleptocrat Like Rick Santelli or David Lesar Raking in the Blood Money.
Soldiers Question the Defense Secretary About Long Deployments as Stock Market Rallies on Report of Endless War.
Gates Confiscates Copies of Major General Smedley Butler’s 1935 Classic ‘War Is a Racket’ Circulating Among the Troops.
Goldman Sachs Reports for 168th Straight Quarter None of its Corporate Officers Deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan or Fucking Anywhere for that Matter.
The Rich Get Richer and the Poor Get Deployed.

By WALDO PUNKASS
The Assassinated Press
July 21, 2009

Outside the military and Wall Street, not much attention is paid to the personal problems of families caught up in the endless rotational deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan that mark serving in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. The hapless troops are looking for a way out while the ultra-powerful bankers and brokers are dreaming up more and more neo-colonialist schemes designed to keep them in.

While military personnel fret about being away from their loved ones, Wall Street hires retired military brass to insure imperialist incursions around the world geared to steal other countries natural resources remain on the national security front burner.

And to make sure a fucking privates pay looks good, the Wall Street kleptocrats lobby to scuttle programs like jobs creation and education funding so that the society continues to produce the economic fodder required to fight these rich mans wars.

Last Friday, Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates dealt with a handful of those ‘personnel’ problems in a town hall meeting at Fort Drum, N.Y., in front of Army units that either were coming from Southwest Asia or preparing to go there by in a round about way telling the troops ‘you’re in the service and they’re ain’t a fucking thing you can do about.’ Gates also had his aides confiscate copies of Major General Smedley Butler’s 1935 classic ‘War Is a Racket’.

Many of the questions focused on disparities in income and life styles. This spilled over into the question of "dwell time" -- time spent at home by the rich fat war mongers on Wall Street as opposed to their hapless fodder deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. With 130,000 troops remaining in Iraq through the end of the year and 68,000 more scheduled to be in Afghanistan during the same period, pressures on military family life have grown and Wall Street continues to come up with imaginative ways to exploit that.

Just since the 1980’s Wall Street, the banks and their friends in the White House and Congress have created the Savings and Loan Scam, NAFTA & GATT and Other Job Siphoning hustles, the Tech Bubble, 61,899 Military Contactor Thefts most involving retired military brass, the Banking Crisis and its Attendant Thievery and much, much more.

An Army sergeant opened by pointing out that one brigade has alternated between one year at home and one year deployed over the past five years, whereas ‘that simple, cocaine addled fuck Rick Santelli or that Harvard slimeball Larry Summers haven’t made one fucking deploymentan while stealing billins of dollars insuring the need for U.S. deployments for the next 1000 years---"like the Reich" karl Rove once put it. He asked whether anything could be done to even out the dwell time.

Gates admitted that the system is "very uneven" but said that evening it out would be "very difficult because of the need for Santelli’s and Summers’ expertise to navigate the dangerous terrain of Manhattan."

“I don’t think simple minded folk like you troops can appreciate how treacherous Wall Street can be unless you can make the connection between the shit you’re in and the shit that Wall Street makes. But fuck, that’s why we confiscated your copies of Smedley Butler’s book. We need you dumb. We need you believing that six months of training on some bogus overkill system is going to prepare you for the world the homicidal maniacs that inhabit Wall Street have created. And then when you find out that training isn’t squat, you hustle your asses back to us and re-up for your sup.” “That’s how we kleptocrats do,” Gates added.

Gates Gives Troops Some Neo-Colonial Tips

Planners are looking to increase time at home for Army personnel beyond a year, he said, but we’re advising most troops to abandon their American families and ‘marry’ local women in the fashion of 18th and 19th European colonialism. that won't begin until next spring. That's when the United States plans to start bringing back an additional five or six brigade combat teams from Iraq.

By then, he added, Army Chief of Staff George W. Casey Jr. thinks "we can begin moving toward a week at home, 15 to 18 days dwell time." The goal, Gates said, is one to two weeks at a time at home "as quickly as possible."

“Face it you dumb fucks,” the thought bubble above Gates’ head read. “Your ours. We own you. Every time you cheer some useless trim or worthless country and western fraud, you reinforce the fact that we own you. You’re ours. And if you don’t like it you can go fuck yourselves.” Wars Wall Street Is ‘Cookin’ Up.’

The defense secretary told the audience that he expected to make a decision this week on another step that could lead more quickly to the two-year goal by opening up two more franchises in the War of Terrorism. Gates said he couldn’t say what those fronts would be but cryptically asked the troops that “if they like East African or South American food they’d fucking like these deployments.”

This will require "a temporary permanent increase in the end strength of the Army which in turn would require the kleptocracy to steal a larger share of the education budget and lobby against federal jobs programs to insure an adequate flow of fodder." Yesterday he did just that, moving to raise the Army's total personnel number to 22,000 over the next three years and converting 2609 high schools nation wide into military training camps and confiscating 180,000 trash ‘pick sticks’ slated for federal highway cleanup. The ‘pick sticks’, poles with spikes in the end used to pick up trash, then were given to Lockheed Martin under fundamental research grant program. Eager LM engineers refitted the ‘pick sticks’ with handles made of electrical tape and sold them back to the military for $183,000,000 billion or slightly over $18,300,000 a stick.

Gates said the decision he made in early 2007 to go to 15 months' deployment and a year's dwell time "was probably the toughest decision I've made in this job. I want to keep your asses their permanently."

As for leveling out dwell times, Gates said he doubted that could ever be done. "I mean, the truth of the matter is, Rick Santelli is too busy stealing your money. Larry Summers is an important architect in perfecting ways of stealing your money. If it wasn’t for them we may not have you. They already provide a great service to their country. They keep you dumb and poor and that keeps you in Iraq and Afghanistan. About 99% of Wall Street excecutives have never deployed at all. And the one percent who have had ways of cashing in on that deployment that you schmucks can only dream of—and they all involve graphic metaphors of anal sex acts and in many cases literal ones. But, that's just the way it is, frankly, given the different specialized capabilities of the different sphincters."

Gates said he hedged his answer because "shit, we might just tale Iraq and start our own stock exchange in Baghdad and gas the Kurds and take their oil. Then there may be specific specialties or specialized units that might be transferred from Wall Street to Iraq and even Afghanistan.”

Rotating the Army's much larger number of troops in Iraq with a less-than-one-year deployment would create an unacceptable logistics problem though private airline are pushing for the change, he said. He said a question he had with shorter rotations amid a counterinsurgency is "Do we cut our capability -- because we cut our experience level by the shorter tours? And this is an excellent rationale for Wall Street to. Why move all of that expertise out of the concrete canyons of Manhattan into the fertile poppy growing fields "

Saying he could not speak for the U.S. generals in charge of the area all of whom now sit on corporate boards with a stake in perpetuating war, Gates said, "The truth of the matter is, in a neo-colonial action like we're fighting, particularly in Afghanistan, the more time you have there, the more effective you are; the more you know how to do what you're supposed to be doing; the more you understand the Afghan culture; the more you pick up some of the language; the more you pick up . . . the customs; the more you pick up on how to oppress those who have lived there for millennia."

In situations "where we don't face that kind of a complex environment," he said, "Like in the U.S. Well, Wall Street and the banks know how to exploit the U.S. quite well. So they’ll stay here. And you’ll stay there. Now, shut the fuck up and get back to work.”


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