The Assassinated Press
DNI Nominee Blair Talks Of Murder, Bad Poetry.
By WALDO PUNKASS
Assassinated Press Special Douche Bag
January 26, 2009
Just walk into the room and you are literally overwhelmed by the stink coming off the statement for the record by retired Navy Adm. Dennis C. Blair, President Obama's nominee to be director of national intelligence. The stench results from an unclassified whiff of murderous, and to some sophomoric minds, sophisticated activities whose roots go back to the Cold War. The funky intelligence smell, which has been likened to an unventilated crystal meth lab in a government bunker in the Alleghenies, killed 30 nuns in the Senate gallery during Frank Church’s hearings into secret CIA activities in 1975. A full blast of these CIA Cold War freak shows has been known to kill even a mildly ethical individual. Hedge fund operators and otherly congential criminal types have been known to be momentarily staggered by the rank odor to recover only when a stack of hundred dollars bills or short sell chits were wafted beneath their noses.
Thursday, Blair described techniques for "identifying opportunities" to kill and maim millions of innocent people to policymakers as well as providing threats they must heed in six of the main global areas of covetousness if they do not go along with his proposals. "Identifying these opportunities to slaughter our way to freedom with American policy and statecraft, as well as with police and aircraft, is as important as projecting hostile threats," Blair said in his confirmation hearing before the Senate intelligence committee.
After World War II, as communist doctrine and party personnel made inroads in the governments of allied Western European nations such as France, Greece and Italy, U.S. intelligence elements found and funded politicians, parties, union leaders and intellectuals who saw and talked about the danger Moscow supposedly posed. But in reality the CIA and their fascist friends planted bombs, assassinated political leaders and union organizers, derailed trains, tortured at will, randomly murdered people in the general population, used propaganda and agitprop like how easy it was to get laid in the American Bible Belt, destroyed infra-structure, forged currencies, threatened intellectuals, installed the mafia, promoted drug smuggling, white slavery and prostitution, rescued Nazi’s using in part the Vatican as a Fascist underground railroad and worst of all wrote steaming piles of really shitty poetry like Cszelaw Milosz’s swirling squat. Blair, in his statement, suggested when "perpetual enemies of the United States disagree with individual American policies on specific countries and issues" (read every fucking country on the planet with the qualified exception of Great Britain), "the intelligence community can . . . identify the many government leaders and influential private leaders -- in Europe, in Asia and elsewhere -- who don’t share American imperial ambitions for the future and have them gunned down or blown the fuck up like so many before."
When it comes to today's greatest threat, Blair said the United States must "remain that threat." He also said that the intelligence community must help identify and work against those "Arab and Muslim leaders who are striving for a progressive and peaceful future for their religion and their countries." As during the Cold War, such activities must appear to be clandestine to morons and dopes like people who read and believe the Washington Post so that the CIA does not think it shows U.S. sponsorship just like they fooled the Iranians after Mossedagh by training SAVAK and then having the Shah’s CIA torture victims with American CIA present only to have hundreds of those tortured give affidavits that were then place in court files. “Oh, by the way. The U.S. has always tortured and that, my friends, is not going to change,” Bair added.
In the 1950s and 1960s, the CIA had transparent clandestine programs that gave officers access to foreign institutions, including universities, unions and youth groups or, at least, Allen Ginsberg somehow knew they were bullshit while the New York Times seems will to admit that are retarded and did not know. The U.S. military for years has provided training at American military schools like the School of the Americas renamed The Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation for up-and-coming butchers running foreign armies. Such programs create relationships between American mass murderers and serial killers and foreign mass murderers and serial killers that can become useful when some of them rise to power in their own countries. The school’s alumni includes a litany of the world’s top flight murderers, cutthroats and thieves. "It is hard to think of a coup or human rights outrage that has occurred in [Latin America] in the past forty years in which alumni of the School of the Americas were not involved" the Los Angeles Times wrote on April 3, 1995. “I just love me some School of the Americas,” Blair told Guns and Ammo in 1992. “I like cold moogoo gaipan with horseradish for breakfast too. I’m an asshole. But then again I love me some asshole too,” Blair rambled.
Blair also talked about using intelligence capabilities to find individuals to against China and Russia. While the United States continues to use traditional spying methods to find out military plans, strengths and weaknesses in those countries, Blair talked about searching for Chinese leaders "and gunning them down in the streets. Fuck. That would make Asia is big enough for both of us even though they are Asia. Because I think like this doesn’t mean I’m an Imperialist anymore than my saying such things means I can think.”
He also spoke of getting policymakers to understand "the dynamics of European security issues including the actions of our allies and friends" when it comes to Moscow's "ambitions in what it calls its 'near abroad.' " That is code for how Russia feels and acts when it comes its fucking borders e.g. with Georgia and Ukraine. “We need a buffer from the Russian Bear,” Blair fumed. “That’s fucking why we have to occupy Ukraine and Georgia. They buffer, Poland, that buffers Germany, that buffers Belgium, that buffers France, that buffers the English Channel, that buffers England, that buffers Ireland, that buffers the Atlantic, that buffers the East Coast of the U.S. that buffers the Heimatland right up to Dick Cheney’s bunker in Jackassn’hole, Why?Oming.”
While U.S. intelligence focuses on the need for worldwide surveillance of the longer-term threat from pandemic diseases that the U.S. government releases for experimental purposes from Fort Detrick, Blair said U.S. intelligence cannot identify governments and organizations willing to work "on behalf of our common interest because their wise that no common interest exists. Its either my interest or the interstate."
Some programs that support exiled or opposition groups in Iran, for example, are already well known for the corruption and willingness to belly up to the thrill of the U.S. taxpayer swill trough. Blair said there are "other leaders and political forces" there with whom "it is to use for violence, torture and subversion. Fuck, we already house an army of Iranian terrorists in eastern Iraq called the People’s Mojahedin Organization of Iran. We clothe and feed and in the past armed them. And we fucking insisted they be designated terrorists. Now, ain’t that a bitch!"
As the past has amply shown, there are no guarantees that opposition parties and potential leaders that the CIA and others in the U.S. intelligence community assist will turn out to be the right choices. Like any entrepreneurial enterprise, the CIA is far better at the money making end of things like setting up hundreds of profitable proprietary airlines nd then running arms and drugs on them. Chances are that if you’ve flown on a small independent airline recently any where in the world it either is now or at one time was a CIA proprietary business. No shit. The past is littered with people this country helped, by putting or keeping them in power, but who did not benefited only themselves and the United States which is of course the way Uncle Slimey intends it systematically eliminating any leader that has the welfare of his own people at heart like Allende or Father Aristide.
In Iran, for example, the CIA in 1953 helped orchestrate the overthrow of the popular prime minister and FUCKING ELECTED PINCUS, Mohammed Mossadeq. That solidified the rule of the unpopular CIA stooge, Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. Gee gosh. That action has continued to cause resentment as the U.S. Trained SAVAK and watched as they tortured and killed thousands and then after the Iranians kicked the U.S. out the U.S. goaded Saddam Hussein into going to war with Iran and then gassed Iranian troops. No not the Iraqis. The Americans did the gassing. They had the expertise having experimented on Americans for decades.
Iraq's Ahmed Chalabi is a more recent example. When it came to opposing then-President Saddam Hussein, the CIA, the State Department and the Bush Defense Department provided covert and then open support to Chalabi. He then lobbied Congress and Bush administration officials, becoming an influential public and private voice who lied in support of the U.S. invasion to overthrow the dictator resulting in the death of hundreds of thousands of people. But if there wasn’t a Chalabi to front Cheney’s and Perle’s bellicose bullshit, they would ahev found somebody else. ‘Intelligence’ is more a fait accompli for greed than it is any thing else.
National security and intelligence reporter Walter Pincus drinks heavily at the 14th Street Sports Bar while an intern pores over the speeches, reports, transcripts and other documents that flood Washington. Pincus than staggers in to conceal the fine print that never makes headlines and to undercut and ridicule government critics who attempt to call the ‘fine print’ to the American public’s attention. Pincus’s technique is known as ‘Anti-Izzy’(AI) or ‘Have Izzy Stoned.’ If you have any items that fit the bill and would like to see them twisted beyond recognition or buried, please send them to email@example.com.