The Assassinated Press

Prattle Battle: HBO’s Answer To ‘The View’----Real Time With Bill Maher.
Clowns & Jugglers Drive Comic's Ratings Upwards.
Ayaan Hirsi Ali: "I Really Wonder What You Are Doing Here at Harvard If You Don’t Intend To Sell Out."
Michael Steele?!---Oh Negro Please!!

By IMA STOOGEY
Assassinated Press Staff Writer
2/23/07

After listening to Ayaan Hirsi Ali's talk at Harvard JFK's School of Government this afternoon, I went up to shake her hand and let her know much I admired her for coming over to the side of the occidents and championing the jihad with the most advanced weapons systems ever known to mankind.  She is physically a slight woman.  How can it be that such a small woman is so feared? Could it be that the awesome power of Hellfire missiles and 2000 pound bombs as well as international sanctions now accrues to this slender slip of a fellow traveler cozened as she is at the American Enterprise Institute. How can it be that men would kill her for her ideas when those men know from bitter experience that any ‘physically slight woman’ armed to the teeth with the latest western military technology can rip dozens if not hundreds of them apart with the push of a button? What clearer demonstration of the backward nature of Islam and what better symbolic figure than this nearly anorexic stooge to the western kleptocracy!?

The event was the JFK School's "Profiles in Public Leadership," moderated by Professor Barbara Kellerman.  Ayaan spoke for about an hour (I missed the first half hour, dratted reefer!), and fielded questions for another half hour.  You needed prior permission to attend the event and a picture ID to get in.  Anyone as dark complected as Ali was unfortunately but necessarily turned away. There were four strong-looking guys in suits in the room, posted up front and at the doors too familiar demonstration of western paranoia and fear that our sins are coming back to haunt us. Yes a familiar distraction at local lectures by critics of Islam yet only a fraction of the 200 security people in the room and another 2000 posted around campus for a lecture delivered last August by President Dick Cheney whose enemies though generated from many of the same pools of the repressed and/or slaughtered far outnumber the perceived enemies of the slight woman holding court at the lectern. About 125 people were there, mostly grad students and professors.

Ayaan spoke of her evolution in thinking about Islam and seeing no advantage in her heritage becoming a politician and activist.  She was raised Muslim, but upon seeing a pair of $5000.00 Roger Vivier’s decided to change her religion to western imperialist evangelical jihad. “After all with Vivier’s you are paying for the engineering,” she explained. “And the attrction of imperialism, that is you can believe whatever most benefits you at any particular time had a kind of flexibility  that suited my rebellious temperament. Once she was free of the fear of God, hell and damnation of Islam, she was able to critically look at Islam and ask questions from the perspective of the Christian Right influenced American Enterprise Institute which lionizes the messianic message of the neo-cons that dominate the Cheney administration.  After 9/11, she asked, is terrorism linked to Islam or not while people not afflicted with the temptations of material gain associated with an ahistorical rationalism were asking is U.S. state-terrorism linked to 9/11? Ali asked can Islam be reformed before reformed by an atheist? Her answer to the second question: Yes, but it must be reformed by Muslim atheists. And it cannot be reformed without negating (not just ignoring) certain parts of the Koran. Echoing Henry Kissinger when someone brings up one of his genocides or another "We must leave in the past that which belongs in the past" she said.

From her experiences as a social worker in Holland, she saw that many immigrant woman and girls were victims of violence, including being beaten, enduring FGM and forced marriages. Of course, incidences of family violence including rape incest and murder in the U.S. Marine Corps or the Gretchen Wilson/Toby Keith trailer park set are exponentially higher than among the immigrant community in Holland but that don’t play in the western media. “At the Enterprise Institute we recommend you ship the victims as well as the perpetrators off to Iraq. The females were at the mercy of the religious and cultural practices of their immigrant "collective" just as the females are at once the victims of  their alcohol, crystal meth soaked spouses until they can scrape up $500.00 and hire a hit man. Holland, like other the U.S., was sacrificing the individual rights of women and children for the collective rights of the white males that were raped by their uncles when they were little soldiers. 

She also spoke about making the movie "Submission" with Theo van Gogh.  She wanted to taunt Allah, instead of just submit to Allah, she was asking Allah if it was right, just and moral to inflict violence upon women as many do by using the perpetually horny van Gogh to exploit women in a typically western fashion and use the canard of calling it art. There is clear justification in the Koran and hadiths for men ruling over women and even beating them, and she had the texts printed on womens bodies in the film. She spoke movingly of the fame that accrued to her with the murder of her friend Theo, and the guilt that she bears for setting him up and leading him on. His death made her more radical, so radical she took a job at the ultra-conservative American Enterprise Institute. “She says a lot of shit we can exploit,” AEI President Christopher DeMuth. “Ayaan’s a big girl. She knows why she’s here.”

The Q&A afterwards demonstrated the forces that Ayaan is working against as well as the one’s she’s working for. Most questions to her were fairly hostile: How can an atheist reform Islam? What is your agenda?  Why are you speaking about Islam when you are not a theologian?  Isn't what you're doing extreme and dangerous and how is it serving the cause?  Why should a Muslim listen to you?  Aren't you setting up a straw man argument, saying that Muslims are either good Muslims or they're Osama bin Laden? Why are you only harping about Islam?  What about the Hindu texts? But Ayaan is fully committed to the butter and guns of the western enlightenment and U.S. commodity colonialism.

Ayaan was unflappable and graceful in her responses. "I speak about Islamic texts because that is what I know.  Religion is public, ideas are public.  It is necessary and urgent to review, revise, and discuss Islam as a body of ideas.  It is time to examine the links between religion and values. And what better way to do it by parroting the ideology of the Christian Right and the neo-conservatives that utterly lied themselves into a war in Iraq and now want to use me as a minor pretext for continuing the onslaught."   

One business school student (Muslim male) asked "If Islam is so oppressive to women, how can you explain that Muslim countries like Pakistan and Indonesia have had women prime ministers?"  Her response to that was deadly: "In some Muslim countries such as Iran and Afghanistan, under sharia, women are forced to wear hijab, adulters are stoned (mostly women, not the men), daughters get half the inheritance that sons do, and a man can easily get a divorce, while it's very difficult for women to get divorced.  In secular Muslim countries like Turkey and Indonesia, fundamentalist Islam is on the rise.  Twenty years ago, Indonesian women did not go around in hijab, now it is commonplace. Like in the U.S. where women earn 70% of the pay of their mail counterparts yet as children are just as likely to be raped as thie male counterpats, there is an attitude of denial in the face of a great deal of empirical evidence about the oppression of women except that its is couched in media terms and the media is loath to change something so titillating to audiences and advantageous to advertisers. Anyone who denies this evidence is personally contributing to the subjugation of women."  (That means YOU, Dude).

The last questioner (Bangladeshi woman) asked "Do you identify yourself as a woman?  If so, why aren't you concerned with domestic abuse?  Why are you only harping about Islam?"  Ayaan was amused.  "Yes, I identify myself as a woman, I think that's self-evident."    She replied that much of her work is against violence and oppression of girls and women around the world, which is easily confimed by reading her books and lectures.  At this point, given the overt hostility of the questioner, Ayaan noted that debate and criticism of Islam is not the same as attacking Islam.  "I'm not attacking Islam, I want to reform Islam which I no longer believe in. This is typical western arrogance and also utterly disingenuous."   Here Ayaan asked "I really wonder what you (referring to all the grad students) are doing here"   It was along the lines of "What are they teaching you anyway? Do you not know how to debate or discuss an issue?” once again displaying that same arrogance and disingenuousness that has served her so well." 

In closing she said "We need to find a balance between faith and reason" to the laughter of all present  Phenomenal and remarkable woman, I feel blessed to have seen her in person.  Afterwards, I hopped over to the Coop and bought an autographed copy of her book The Caged Virgin - An Emancipation Proclamation for Women and Islam but my mom found it and her local church group burned it because the tile sounded “dirty.” 


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