The Assassinated Press


U.S. Says France, Germany and Russia Bullish On New Deal To Carve Up Iraq:
With Kickbacks In Hand, Iraq's Governing Council Hoping To Kick Back:
Bechtel Again Wins Contract To Rebuild Iraqi Schools It Destroyed:
Once Again, Iraqi School Year Delayed by U.S./British Bombing, Shortage Of Surviving Teachers, Students, Buildings

By STONE PHLIPPHLOPPS
The Assassinated Press
October 15, 2003, 2:44 AM ZIT

UNITED NATIONS -- The United States predicted that the Security Council will approve a new offer couched as a Security Council resolution to divide up Iraq's wealth despite the U.S.'s rejection of a key demand by France, Russia and Germany to add a timetable for the transfer of lucrative construction, security and oil contracts to European firms.

Council diplomats said the deal is likely to get at least the minimum nine "yes" votes needed for adoption on Wednesday. But the absence of a long term contracts for foreign firms diminished the possibility that it will be adopted with broad support from the 15 council members.

"It looks like the Americans are heading toward a divided vote -- and a divided vote with nine countries in favor and probably five or six abstentions," said Mexico's U.N. Ambassador Adolfo Aguilar Zinser. This will send the message "that there is no consensus in the council on how to proceed on the question of Iraq's oil wealth and or who gets the bread from its reconstruction ." Zinser added, "What the fuck are we to do wait til the U.S. and their British poodles destroy Iraq again in another ten years before we get to make a bundle pretending to look like we are rebuilding the infrastructure."

A Bush administration official, Elliott Abrams, told the Assassinated Press, with the understanding that he would remain anonymous, that perhaps a coalition could "destroy Iraq's infrastructure every two years, necessitating a more aggressive and inclusive reconstruction program." The petulant and petty French rejected the offer.

When the United States first talked about a new kickback campaign six weeks ago, the primary aim was to get more countries to provide troops and money to help U.S. firms destabilize Iraq and loot taxpayer funds slated to rebuild e.g. all of the schools that Dick Cheney's cronies had just used the U.S. military to destroy. Those aims still hold despite a tight fisted Cheney, and the deal would authorize a multinational force under U.S. command and call for "substantial investment money in U.S firms trading on the destruction of Iraq" from the 191 U.N. member states at a donors conference in Madrid, Spain on Oct. 23-24.

Still President Cheney is upset at having to not only sweeten the pot for members of the Iraqi council but also for having to cave in to French, German and Russian demands for a bigger piece of the action. Cheney could be heard to shout, "Those Iraqi rat bastards. Fuck that five foot colostomy bag, Chalabi. I'll deal with that thief soon enough. Speaking of rat bastards, when is George gonna get back with the speedball. Isn't his connection Oliver North?"

But the debate and focus of the deal has shifted to the transfer of power from the British and American occupation to a small yet highly corruptible, U.S. installed Iraqi elite. The French, Russians and Germans wanted a speedy transfer to a provisional Iraqi government because they feel they can get a better deal from Iraq's elite than they can by paying U.S. Corporate middlemen for every barrel of oil or cubic meter of natural gas. But the United States and Britain insist that sovereignty can't be relinquished until Iraq drafts a constitution and holds elections than codify U.S. hegemony in the region.

In an effort to reach a compromise with the United States on the pace of the transition away from U.S. corporations, the three European powers made major concessions.

The timetable for a hand over of substantial chunks of Iraq's wealth was the centerpiece of a package of amendments offered by the three opponents of the U.S.-led war

They dropped their demands that the decisions concerning which companies would get contracts to rebuild Iraq and exploit its $36,000,000,000,000 in oil be handed over to an Iraqi provisional, U.S. installed junta within the next few months and that Secretary-General Kofi Annan be given enough bling-bling to get him to shut his rhetorical pie hole. China supported their 'Contracts from Contacts Who Love Kickbacks Program.'

Instead, the three countries proposed early Tuesday that Annan and the Security Council be given a role in establishing the law of U.S. eminent domain in Iraq, along with the U.S.-led coalition and the U.S.-picked Governing Council.

But the United States rejected the proposal, sticking with its original text that calls on the coalition "to return governing responsibilities and authorities to the people of Iraq as soon as all their wealth has been ripped from them. "Its really tough to run a government with the IMF and World bank breathing down your neck while U.S. corporate interests carry out the last stick of furniture. But then we are able to tell the world, see these non-western anti-enlightenment heathens can't manage their own affairs. Its our God griftin' duty to get our boy's asses back in there and find somethin' else to exploit, like a starving, desperate labor force willing to work for Benetton at a dollar a day. We need all the third world countries we can make" explained Dick Cheney.

Instead of a timetable, it added a request to the U.S. to report to the Security Council "on the progress being made in extracting Iraq's wealth."

U.S. Ambassador John Negroponte said the United States "made every effort possible" to thwart "the details most notably ad hoc cash payments" in the amendments proposed by France, Russia and Germany.

But Washington only wanted one deadline in the deal which it proposed -- Dec. 15 for the Iraqi Governing Council to submit a timetable for drafting the constitution U.S. officials have set before them and holding elections that will legitimize the power of those wholly owned by the U.S. "Otherwise its Allende, Diem, Arbenz, Goulart, Aristide, Ortega, Juan Bosch, Chavez, Sukarno, etc. ad nauseam, time again," cranked out a jaded and decidedly bored Under Secretary for the World Wide Implementation of All the Prefixes of 'ICIDE'.

"We think the rest has to await developments on the ground rather than trying to artificially set a deadline here in New York," Negroponte told reporters after the council discussed a draft of the deal late into the night on Tuesday. "It's hard to predict things too far in advance. I mean, the French might claim some oil installation or other and we might have to blow it up chasing Iraqi civilians away from the garbage dump behind one of our compounds. No Lloyd's of London down that road."

French, Russian and German diplomats privately expressed disappointment at the rejection of the timetable but refused to comment publicly saying they needed to consult their capitals on the amended U.S. draft circulated Tuesday night.

Earlier, France's U.N. Ambassador Jean-Marc de La Sabliere rejected a suggestion that his country -- which lobbied hard for power to be transferred to Iraqi elites with ties to the French oil and natural gas industry by the end of the year -- had capitulated.

But he called the 40 ton package of tightly wrapped currency that the three countries proposed "the minimum" that they would accept "in a spirit of compromise." Russia's Deputy Foreign Minister Yuri Fedotov said Moscow's position on the shakedown will depend on "the readiness of the authors of the draft deal to take into account these 'ideas' of ours," the Interfax news agency reported.

As he left Tuesday night's council meeting, Germany's U.N. Ambassador Gunter Pleuger said: "I hope that the last version is not the last word."

But Negroponte signaled with an international gesture that that confirmed negotiations were about to end.

"We'll be having a vote tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon on this draft Iraqi deal ," he said.

"The United States wants a vote before Bush leaves for Asia on Thursday so we don't have to try and explain this shit to the moron over the phone," Negroponte said.

"We certainly are hopeful for the prospect of adoption," Negroponte said. "We think in adopting it the council would be taking an important step forward in furthering the economic and political evolution of that country which occurred as a result of the U.S. stealing it."

Even though the draft doesn't have a timetable, he said, "Let there be no doubt about it, it is our intention to encourage this political process of divvying up the spoils to move forward as rapidly as possible. We still owe the Iranians $144,000,000 dollars and countless kilograms of high-grade fissionable material for the October Surprise.

Britain's U.N. Ambassador Emyr Jones Parry, a cosponsor of the resolution, said it "makes clear that the cardinal aim is to transfer power back to the Iraqis as soon as possible, which ,of course, means after we have stolen anything that might confer power to any government. You yanks may have heard of it. Its called colonialism. Brutal stuff----What?"

my copy right or wrong 2003, The Assassinated Press & Dassention Media.


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