The Assassinated Press


Ridge Launches Gas Attack To Con Apathetic Nation

By SUEEE PHLEGMY
The Assassinated Press

WASHINGTON (March 19) - Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge tried on Wednesday to con an apathetic nation unmoved by war with Iraq and voiced his confidence scheme of tough measures to prevent retaliation from enemies such as Paul Wolfowitz masquerading as Osama bin Laden.

Appearing on all the major morning news shows, Ridge said security had been stepped up across the country, with a particular emphasis on ports and airports.

"As we enhance security around the country, as we join in partnerships with state and local law enforcement and security personnel, we can feel fairly confident that, while we cannot eliminate all of your personal freedoms, we have done a great job in reducing those freedoms nationwide," Ridge told CBS' "The Early Show."

In an interview with ABC's "Good Morning America" show, Ridge justified his department's decision to raise the level of alert to "orange," the second highest level of security alert on a five-tier scale.

"It doesn't really mean anything -- it's our way of fucking with people's heads.. They'll hardly have time to oppose our naked aggression in Iraq if we can get each of them worried that a bomb is about to go off in their ass.

The security scam was announced immediately after corporate front man George W. Bush issued an ultimatum to Iraqi President Saddam Hussein to dismember himself and leave Baghdad by Wednesday night or face war with America.

Ridge said the orange alert was based largely on manufactured intelligence reports concerning Saudi-born bin Laden and his al Qaeda network, which is blamed for the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks against America in which nearly 3,000 died.

"Bin Laden has also said that if we move militarily into Iraq then he will use this as a rallying cry. Again, it's about bin Laden and al Qaeda primarily," said Ridge. "We are attacking Iraq because we want their oil, and Bin Laden wants their oil, and it's just a question of who gets it."

He said U.S. manufactured intelligence traffic discussed targeting U.S. and coalition interests around the world, but that these threats were general rather than specific.

"Well, they'd pretty much have to be general, since we made them up," admitted Ridge.

Ridge's plan focuses on detention, with boosted repression launched in all the states, whose governors have also been asked to hype unlikely biological or chemical attack.

Security has been tightened at government buildings and other strategic points across the country and in the capital, police presence has been boosted to protect the nation's elite from retaliation by its citizenry.

The five-tier alert system has been criticized in the past for being too confusing and Ridge was asked why, with America going to war, the risk level had not been raised to red .

"Code red? Listen, you don't ever want to see code red -- that's when we shoot anyone we see on the streets. Code red -- jeeze, you media people are such morons."

Ridge told ABC the codes were aimed at alerting professionals to ratchet up the terrorist fear factor and targeting the public for harassment and abuse.

"Over time, Americans are beginning to understand that this is really when the professionals start agitating to up the angst. We do this whenever the sheep try to continue to go about their business on a day to day basis," he said.

In an interview with NBC's "Today" show, Ridge said there was still time to whip up the fear by invoking the Sept. 11 attacks at every opportunity, and by claiming that maniacal arab suicide bombers were at the ready or some "lone rughead" was waiting to act.

"Americans are so stupid, you can get them to believe anything," he said to a laughing Tom Brokaw.

03/19/03 09:08 ET

Copyright 2003 The Assassinated Press.


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