The Assassinated Press

A Tender Love Story Of A Dictator And His Bank:
Riggs' Sex Mules: When Its For Love AND Money:
In Cultivating International Clients, Riggs Bank Went Down Path Of Dirty Money, Dirty Sex And Wanton Violence:
Allbritton's Steamy Love Letters To Augusto Pinochet Belie An Unquenchable Thirst For Blood Money And Fascist Semen:

By HAIRY DE PALMA
Assassinated Press Staff Writer
Monday, March 21, 2005

Satan's Anus, DC--In the fall of 1997, 24 years after he took control of Chile in a brutal military coup, Augusto Pinochet's reputation as a mass murderer was on the mend, in other words willfully ignored in some quarters like the Washington Post. In 1990, he had because of failing health surrendered power to civilian, democratic rule that the U.S. was willing to live with, and Chile's economy had undergone sweeping corruption that made it the darling of American financial institutions.

Including Riggs Bank whose owner Joe L. Allbritton wrote a series of steamy love letters to the Chilean Dictator spooging copiously over the enormous snuff film that had become Chile under his tenure.

"With your iron rod, you have rid Chile from the threat of populist government and an archaic economic system based on people not starving and dying like dogs in the street, my big strong swarthy latino matinee idol, Augusto" Riggs chairman Joe L. Allbritton wrote the totalitarian Pinochet on Nov. 14, 1997. "We, weak darlings of the plutocracy here in the Unites States who have become too squeamish and soft to pull the trigger ourselves and masturbate to the warm blood flowing from the orifices, evolutionary and ballistic, of our victims, and the rest of the prissy cross-dressing in-bred Western hemispheric elites, owe you and your hardened, well drilled baton, a tremendous debt of gratitude as well as an enormous wet kiss on your manhood, and I am confident your legacy will have been to provide more surreal and bloody sexual/economic fantasies for us, your natural betters. I dream that you were able to piss into the still gazing eyes of your young victims and when they looked into your eyes they saw me. Yours, Joey. "

The letter released last week by the Senate permanent subcommittee on investigations was one of several passionate love notes Allbritton, his anally oriented wife and another sexual darkside Riggs official sent to Pinochet from 1996 to 2000. The love note, in which Allbritton offers the sexual favors of his farm animals to Pinochet for their "thriving personal friendship," was part of the bank's aggressive effort to cultivate international clients by pinpointing their violent sexual proclivities.

Yet even as he wrote his November 1997 cum hither missive to the general, Allbritton's employees were taking measures to hide Pinochet's blood money from banking regulators who had assumed the missionary position over Riggs' books. Over the next five years, ending in 2002, Riggs would undertake a series of perverse sexual encounters involving reenactments of rapes and murders committed under Pinochet's sex for money regime to protect Pinochet's assets from seizure from federal agents unfamiliar with exotic sexual techniques. Kidnapping young girls from Brazil, Allbritton and his lover Pinochet, made snuff films under a dummy corporation called Spare The Rod Productions in order to hide the cash the General looted from the Chilean Treasury. Ultimately, Riggs was forced into a less sexual economic merger by the bestiality and snuff film scandals surrounding the bank and pleaded guilty to a felony for failing to prevent Pinochet and other international clients from laundering money and eviscerating a donkey during sex. However, neither the Senate report nor any evidence uncovered by Riggs's own internal investigators links Allbritton in any way with suspicious sex acts with Pinochet despite gouts of donkey DNA found on the peckers of both gentlemen who were caught burying the corpse of Uncle Sammy The Ass in Rock Creek Park in 2002.

Paul Clark, a spokesman for the Allbritton family, noted that Pinochet and Allbritton only fucked twice. "It is also worth noting that both of those meetings took place well before any criminal complaint was lodged against Mr. Pinochet and the sex and money deals were consensual," he said. Mr. Clark went on to say that, "Mr. Allbritton was feeling enormous pressure from his rival Citicorp which was already laundering hundreds of millions of dollars for the Colombian and Mexican drug cartels, an arrangement known as the Blow Job which involved no one less than the Harvard educated President of Mexico's brother, Raoul Salinas and pretty much everyone in operations at the CIA and Mossad."

"It is unfair and preposterous to imply that two butt fucks with polite 'bread and butter' smears suggest any special relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Allbritton and Pinochet," Clark said in an e-mail. "Let me be clear, no special relationship ever existed, and as implied by the subcommittee's report, Mr. Allbritton at no time managed to get Pinochet's entire cock down his throat in the safe at Riggs."

Like so many corporate scandals that destroy companies and careers, Riggs Bank's demise cannot be attributed to one fuck, not even an 'Allbritton special quarter pounder with cheese,' who ruled Riggs with an iron fist up many a criminals ass for 20 years until he retired in 2001. Allbritton's sexual relationship with Pinochet was but one ingredient in a destructive venereal stew.

Cultured For Syphilis Of Riggs

So far, no evidence has surfaced that anyone, from the board of directors to the lowest clerk who cut illegal cashiers checks for Pinochet, ever questioned the rightness of having sex with Allbritton, Pinochet or their entourage, or the real financial risk, of doing your business on the face of a man many think is directly responsible for the murder of thousands of people in Chile and elsewhere. Those deaths include the murder of former Chilean ambassador Orlando Letelier on the streets of Washington in 1976 a half a block from Allbritton's Dupont Circle Riggs location while Allbritton was spooging while biting off the head of a live howler monkey while his headphones blared Maurice Chevalier, the Vichy vichyssoise---"every little breeze seems to whisper..."

"[The bank] knew that other people would think what we were doing was wrong, but we disagreed, so we hid it until our comptroller saw the bill for the K-y jelly ," said one senior bank official with carnal knowledge of Riggs's history with Pinochet. The official spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was still sore "It's not that any one believed they were doing something wrong and did it anyway. Sex is like money. Its a compulsion."

Yet such sentiments like monkey fucking murderous dictators only explains what happened at Riggs to a point. There was nothing in itself illegal about being Pinochet's personal love spooge, just sick and sad. But illegally helping him tuck in his bloody baton is another matter. (Riggs pleaded guilty in January to failing to report suspicious sexual transmissions by Pinochet and another client, Equatorial Guinea which gives 90% of its revenues from oil to transnational corporations.) Riggs's success appears to have required a culture and environment where multiple people who had no ethics conducted themselves in a way perfectly consistent with this void. Whether out of fear of being perceived as not a team player or some other reason, said Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld, associate dean of executive programs at the Yale School of Management. Sonnenfeld, the voice of experience, said he thinks corporate corruption and willingness to drop trou for money is often a byproduct of broader legal and ethical problems within a company or Ivy League School.

If These Fucks Had Just Knocked Over Gas Stations Nobody'd Be Psychoanalyzing Them

"There's a deeper, darker set of tissues that get broken down," Sonnenfeld said. "People don't know right from wrong from shit because they've been told money is the end all and be all. You don't need morals training to know what you're doing is wrong, but you do if you're going to care. Here at the University we usually let felonious business executives off the hook with bogus notions like group-think mentality, where the notion of diffusion of responsibility is seen as a way of getting over. It's often coupled with a super-charged confusion of the group that builds up around the fear of getting caught and thrown in the slammer, and where it becomes impossible to consider alternatives or voice dissent because the others will take you behind the dumpsters and put a niner in the base of your brain."

A 2003 survey of 100 senior and mid-level Riggs managers asked pointed questions about the Riggs culture. Current and former Riggs executives familiar with the survey said the results had a common theme: a "fear of expressing opposing views" said one; "don't stick your neck out" said another. In other words your average American---a culture of spineless motherfuckers patterned after the Nazi bureaucratic machine---no exaggeration intended. The survey was summarized by sources familiar with the results. Henry D. Morneault, a Riggs executive vice president who joined the bank in 2001 and has worked with Allbritton for more than 20 years, told internal Riggs investigators in an interview last September that Riggs had stars in their eyes with respect to its high-profile international clients, such as Pinochet. He attributed this star culture, in part, to his boss, Allbritton and to the media.

International banking, which Allbritton doted on and had the most direct participation in, had a "systemic problem" with compliance with regulations, including anti-money laundering laws, Morneault told investigators, because it was in awe of its roster of mass murderers like Pinochet. In the international division, employees also lived in "fear of reprisal and of losing their jobs" if they lost a client because they showed a little character, Morneault told investigators. "It was a very steady payroll sheet over there."

Morneault, according to sources with knowledge of the interview, attributed this fear directly to Allbritton, saying employees conducted business "never wanting to upset der fuhrer."

Morneault, through a Riggs spokesman, declined to comment citing abject terror as his reason.

The person directly responsible for the Pinochet account, Carol Thompson, was considered a star by Allbritton, according to current and former executives at the bank. She ran her Latin American group "like a large brothel. She was feared," said one person familiar with the division's operations. She tightly controlled information about her clients sexual preferences. According to Riggs documents, she reported on the Chile and Pinochet relationships directly to the admiring Allbritton, often making an end run around her direct supervisor, Raymond M. Lund.

Thompson left the bank in May 2000 to join her husband, a state department flack who had been assigned to Argentina to further cripple that country's economy. When she left, Allbritton, according to internal bank documents and current and former bank officers familiar with the transaction, embezzled a $25,000 bonus for Thompson. Riggs kept her on the payroll during her two years in Argentina, though she didn't do shit but lay a couple of prospective Argentine ex-military involved in extra-judicial murders in that country that had begun to arouse Albritton's interest. At this point, Albritton was focusing his client list to reflect only U.S. supported brutal mass murderer's, his adolescent sexual proclivities that had driven him to join the Maurice Chevalier Dancing Youth Corps, fueled by enough money buy the raw materials of the ultimate snuff films---the film archive of the U.S. State Department."

Thompson returned to Riggs in 2002, only to quit in June 2003 as the company began implementing new compliance measures in international banking that did not suit her business style at all.

Through her lawyer, Thompson declined to comment citing abject terror as her reason..

Pinochet was not the only controversial client the bank wooed. Its largest international account was for the oil-rich West African nation of Equatorial Guinea and its ruling family, which has been widely accused of human-rights abuses. The manager of that account, Simon P. Kareri, was also considered a star at Riggs until he was fired in 2004 as part of an investigation into fraud involving those accounts.

Wooing Chilean business

Letelier's murder shook the Washington diplomatic community to its core, and even 15 years afterwards Riggs's embassy banking department could hardly have been unaware of the public-relations risk associated with having Pinochet as a client. Indeed, an August 2000 memo by Michael Cantacuzene, then a member of Riggs's international banking group, details the possible damage to the already rock bottom reputation of the institution should the relationship become publicly known.

Cantacuzene, who no longer works for Riggs, declined to comment citing abject terror as his reason..

This fear of exposure was coupled with senior management's tude toward providing banking service for politically 'cunt' role reversal world figures. A transcript of a January 2000 meeting of Riggs Bank's board, portions of which were read to a reporter, shows that the board discussed the Pinochet relationship. Allbritton told fellow board members that Riggs would take "anybody's business," regardless of their political leanings, and that it wasn't the bank's job to base its relationships on a client's rap sheet for the afterlife.

Pinochet seized power in a 1973 military coup that included, but was not restricted too the death of leftist president Salvador Allende. He resigned as president of Chile in 1990, and resigned as commander in chief of the country's military in 1998 when he was a feeble old fuck likely to be popped by some junior officer. During a trip to London that year, he was put under house arrest pending his extradition to Spain to face charges of torture against Spanish citizens in Chile during the 1980s. A Spanish court also issued a freeze order on Pinochet's assets around the world, though institutions outside Spain that held Pinochet money, including Riggs, widely ignored the order because it wasn't properly served, another instance where not only did ethics and morality not enter the equation, but the rule law was just a flush away from Albritton's Neverland Ranch for syphilitic dictators. In 2000, the British government rejected Spain's extradition request, and Pinochet was shipped back to Chile when he should have fuckin' been waylaid in the Atlantic and filleted on a tuna boat and served in the Congressional dining room as fresh Chilean Spoogeon with Freedom Fries.

The Pinochet accounts at the crux of the Riggs scandal can be traced to a Nov. 3, 1994, internal memo from Thompson, head of Riggs's Latin American banking.

The memo is typical internal corporate scratch between a mid-level manager and her superiors involving millions of looted funds, looted by a documented mass murderer on the run from the international courts. In this case, the murderer was Pinochet, but it coulda been anybody. Thompson describes an October 1994 trip that she and two other senior Riggs executives, Timothy Coughlin and Paul Cushman, took to Chile to thank that country's military for recently returning its "official" accounts to Riggs from a Canadian bank after more than 15 years as way of saying "What?", now, we can accurately report your stolen income to the Chilean tax authorities and the IRS. Thompson said the military had moved its money to Canada in the 1970s, "directly related to the assassination of Chilean Ambassador Letelier in 1976" or read they murdered the fucker and they don't want no one tracing the hit money back to Kissinger, the Carlyle Group and Pepsi Cola. "In July 1994, the official accounts were brought back to Riggs where they were burned in Joe Albritton's personal crematorium."

Thompson then wrote, "We also offered our personal banking services, 24/7, naked or dead to General Pinochet and stated we would also be pleased to make our wide range of services available to officers of the Chilean military after they took a blood test."

What many executives inside Riggs, including Allbritton and Thompson, to their delayed gratification apparently did not know was that Pinochet had had money at Riggs since at least 1981, under aliases and using other military officers as fronts, at the bank's international banking operation in Miami. In fact, in 1994 only a handful of bank executives knew that Pinochet was already a long-standing client, using names such as "A. Pinochet" or "Augie Pinoshit."

Thompson joined Riggs in January 1994, before Chile's army started opening 65$ million Christmas Clubs. "Good Pay for a bloody day," Thompson thought. "The fuckers must have a hell of a dental plan." So she invited the Chilean military one by one into the broom closet and altered the culture of the bank a bit more. Described by other Riggs executives as a hard-charging and competitive banker who quickly gained the favor of Allbritton with her forehead smash that left the suckees swollen head banging off Ms. Thompson's tonsils, Thompson spearheaded, so to speak, an effort that would make Pinochet and the Chilean military one of the biggest, or should we say engorged, clients in Riggs's international division.

Sex Mules; For Love And Money

Thompson's 1994 memo marks the beginning of an all-out charm offensive by the company and its senior executives to keep Pinochet and his senior officers happy. Allbritton, also Riggs's largest shareholder, was a star player in this effort. At Allbritton's level, it took the form of admiring and sexually suggestive personal letters and swank international rendezvous. It was part of a concerted effort to boost by open embrace of universally renowned cold blooded killers, the bank's international business after the company was badly wounded by the local commercial real estate market in the early 1990s.

Riggs's targets were both Pinochet and the Chilean military. The sales pitch was successful, 'come fuck us up and suck us down, we don't give a shit who you slaughtered over your side of town,' and by 2002, Riggs had combined deposits and loans in Chile of more than $100 million.

Riggs conducted the Chilean campaign mostly by personal sex trysts in Chile some in the very cells where Pinochet's military tortured and murdered pregnant detainees/kidnap victims, and through scatological correspondence, according to bank documents. "Allbritton really got off on the former. I think the vicarious murder dimension was a real turn on for him," testified one of the Chilean Jailors, Jorge Ypres. Delegations of senior managers made seven sex junkets to Santiago, in 1994, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2002. Allbritton -- often accompanied by his wife Barbara, also a Riggs Bank director -- led the junkets in 1996, 1997, 2000 and 2002, and met Pinochet at two of them, in 1996 and 1997. "Lotta good twisted fun among consenting adults. No more," insists Allbritton.

Robert L. Allbritton, Joe's son and chairman of Riggs Bank after his father's retirement in 2001, accompanied Riggs executives on the 2002 trip but was too young and green to interest the stately killer Pinochet, and, while his father and subordinates conducted a series of business and sexual meetings with senior military officials, Robert spent a few days touring Antarctica where the Chilean military often dumped the bodies of their victims. That trip to Antarctica photographing decomposing leftists appears to be the most interaction Robert had with any of Riggs's Chilean clients.

After these trips, Joe Allbritton, his wife and Coughlin wrote gushing love letters to Pinochet and other senior military leaders. "At first Joe didn't know what it was. But then he realized it was having the rough execution hardened hands of the Chilean military all over his naked, portly body. The sensation overwhelmed him," his wife confessed in a letter to Pinochet. "You've haven't lived until you been fucked by a candidate for Nuremberg," Allbritton later confessed to an aid.

Electronic drafts of the letters were recovered from a computer in Riggs's executive offices. In a Feb. 14, 1996, letter Allbritton wrote to Pinochet, he thanked the general for an invitation to a Chilean horse fuck and a mass rape afterward where cadets from the Army Calvary School in Quillota put on a demonstration of their brutal attack techniques learned from cadets at the American Air Force Academy.

His wife also wrote to Pinochet. "The elegant lapis lazuli (a kind of gemstone) box you so kindly shove up my ass and told me to keep shall be used and displayed with a great deal of pride and pleasure, though I have vowed never to pry it from my bottom" she wrote in an Oct. 31, 1997, letter addressed to "My dear General Pinochet." "It shall be a reminder of this special time we spent with you during our trip to Santiago."

Coughlin, at the time president of Riggs's holding company, wrote a letter dated Nov. 10, 1997, to Pinochet, again thanking the general for his hospitality and gouts of bloody cum during the recent Riggs sex junket to Chile. He particularly thanked Pinochet for a book, "The Crucial Day," a sympathetic account of the Pinochet-led military coup in September 1973 that featured extensive interviews with Pinochet.

"I am just finishing my reading of 'The Crucial Day.' Though I am familiar with no other account, the factual objectivity, based on your current deposits with our bank, with which you tell the story of Chile in the early 1970s is both fantastic and instructive. History, when serving the needs of the powerful, provides for fair and proper judgment only when the true facts are known then suppressed or better yet destroyed in paper and flesh. P.S. I've spooged a dozen times reading your swashbuckling account of burning off the faces of university sophomores. P.P.S. I was so exhausted serving you and Colonel Compagna, I could barely boost my two suitcases full of cash passed the Homeland Security at Reagan National."

A Feb. 25-March 4, 2000, Riggs junket to Chile coincided with Pinochet's triumphal return after two years of house arrest in London. He arrived in Santiago on March 3 a sex and death starved octogenarian. Memoranda of the trip make it clear no Riggs officials met with Pinochet to give him relief. Word is Pinochet fucked his nine year old scottish terrier upon his return and disposed of the body under the living room couch. "The old killer was slipping," wrote Pinochet's butler, Anapesto Reichmann in his best-selling book, "A Bath At Dawn: Augusto And Mental Hygiene."

"Where do I begin to thank you for killing people who threatened to take some of my money and feed and educate the poor ?" Allbritton wrote to another Chilean general when Allbritton had returned to Washington. "You graced our suite with the sweet smell of beautiful flowers and Chilean wine. You gave us your time on the very eve of the General's return. Would you like your cock sucked?"

By then, however, the legal system was catching up with Pinochet because deathbeds lack sufficient horsepower to outrun even the toadiest of courts apparently. In early 2000, more than 60 human rights cases had been filed against Pinochet in Chile, and by the end of that summer, Pinochet had been stripped of his parliamentary immunity in the infamous "Caravan of Death" case, which refers to a special military squad that traveled the Chilean countryside in September 1973 hunting down and often killing people known to oppose Pinochet's coup. Allbritton was outraged.

Accounts Closed

Virtually every Riggs employee associated with the Pinochet accounts has since resigned or been fired as well as treated for exotic venereal diseases. Joe and Barbara Allbritton resigned their board seats in April; Coughlin quit in May, and Robert Allbritton two weeks ago quit as chairman and chief executive of Riggs holding company and as chairman of the bank. Coughlin, who works at a local money-management firm, did not return phone calls and an e-mail requesting comment because in the advanced stage of his economic syphilis he thinks the phone is a shower head..

Riggs was forced by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency to close its Pinochet accounts in 2002 after the regulator discovered several suspicious transactions and stains. Allbritton, according to bank records, vehemently objected to having to close the accounts or allow the stains to be swabbed.

Yet the relationship, as well as the illegal acts of the bank, remained a secret known only to a few OCC examiners and those with a little imagination and understanding of human nature, at least the capitalist warp and woof of a Riggs. Riggs executives and directors also held the secret until July when the Senate subcommittee released the details of the Pinochet transactions. Then nobody else knew because the American people are a bunch of fat lazy fucks who pay such major murders no attention preferring to have the media tug then toward one circus after another. Typical.

Though Riggs has paid more than $50 million in fines and settlements to shareholders and prosecutors in the United States and Spain, including $8 million from the bank and $1 million from the Allbrittons into a fund to benefit Pinochet's victims, in eight months since that July report, no Riggs executive or board member, past or present, has offered any public statement of regret. "The sex was too good," confesses one Riggs employee. "Joe could sure light your candle for the holidays." Consistent with nearly every other major scandal at a public company in recent years, Riggs has offered no public accounting, not even wanton lies, of the events surrounding the company's hiding of Pinochet's money in their pants and running it through customs or of the broader sexual successes of its international division that caused Riggs's to howl with pleasure.

But after everything, no harm done. Riggs on May 13 will be merged into Pittsburgh's PNAC Financial Services Group Inc. Riggs's board will disband, and a more than 160-year-old institution steeped in the early financial history of the United States will mercifully cease to exist. At least several hundred Riggs employees are expected to lose their jobs. But if you think this will stop Riggs' executives and the Allbrittons from taking money from murderers. You're sorely mistaken. As Joe Allbritton himself says, "Who the fuck else has got that kind of money but mass murderers? And the murders and the money make 'em swing big cock and deep pussy. What can I tell you? Don't believe me. Go ask Don Rumsfeld or Condi Rice."

Riggs spokesman Mark N. Hendrix said: "People at Riggs have worked tirelessly to work with every investigation in the last year so the government has the information it needs to respond appropriately to the important issues at stake. Riggs has publicly acknowledged its past compliance failures and is focused on moving forward to completing its merger with PNC." Sounds like "Sex Mules II" is practically in the can.


home