Let's take the rich man's money.
Let's take the rich man's money.
Let's take the rich man's money today.

Oh! Let's take the rich man's money.
Let's take the rich man's money.
Let's take the rich man's money away.

Let's take the rich man's money.
Let's take the rich man's money.
A Message From the Florida NRA.

The Assassinated Press

New Florida Gun Law Allows Wide Range Of Targets:
Stealing Pensions, Product Liability, Insider Trading, Looting The National Treasury, Lying About WMD And Sending Some Schmuck's Kin To Die Would Be Sufficient Provocation For Use Of Firearms Under New Florida Gun Law:
Jeb Bush Law Retroactive And Florida Electorate Eager To Gun Down Corporate Criminals And Their Pols Who Have Already Provided Provocation:
Sibling Rivalry: Jeb Declares Open Season On Mentally Challenged Brother

By JEFFEY LUBE
The Assassinated Press
Friday, March 25, 2005

Tallahassee, FL---A bill encouraging the use of deadly force during a home invasion, say, a couple of bible thumpers at your door at supper time, phone solicitations while your fuckin' the baby sitter or a Kindasleezie Rice press conference, or when an individual considers themselves threatened by sinister circumstances such as denial of pension benefits from a company looted by its CEO's or a loved one killed because of administration lies about Iraq unanimously passed the Florida Senate on Wednesday.

"Shit! I just bought fresh ammunition," chuckled Jack 'Spanky' Phlange. "I'm 81 on a fixed income and got lung cancer. My wife is blind. I lost everything when that Kenny Boy Lay buddy of G.W. Bush looted Enron. So's me and about 200 other victims of Lay are gonna offer that inflated shitbag an honorarium to speak at our nursing home. Then when he starts to run his mouth we're gonna open up on him, 200 twelve gauges. We're gonna make kibbles oughta that Texas asshole. Then I'm gonna settle some scores with Detroit, Monsanto and the State of New Jersey 'bout this lung cancer."

"I pushed for this gun law ever since Cheney, Rumsfeld and that group of asslickers they called the military brass sent my boy off to die with their cocksuckin' lies. Legally I'm free to take those cocksuckers out, long as I does it in the great state of Florida. And they gotta come down here sooner or later. This is where the Iraq command center is, 'bout 14,000 miles away from the front lines where they think they's safe. Well, that all just changed, baby."

The measure (SB 436) would eliminate criminal penalties for an individual who uses deadly force in self-protection of his home or vehicle and OTHER UNSPECIFIED CIRCUMSTANCES.

"I like that last one, 'other unspecified circumstances,'" said Butch Akers. "Bernie Ebbers blew my pension on blow jobs and summer homes. My Worldcom 401Ks worth about $80.00. Bernie very definitely oughta head down to Florida for a visit."

The Senate passed the gun measure, supported by the National Rifle Association, on a 38-0 vote just moments after it defeated a proposal that might have cleared the way for Terri Schiavo's feeding tube to be reinserted.

"Now, I'm a very impatient person. I suffer from ADD. And if someone don't respond to me, I take immediate offense. Now, if I'd a gunned down Terri Schiavo 'cause she wouldn't talk to me, Jeb Bush says I walk. I think it was a shame what they done to that girl, starvin' her and all. I kin remember when doctors and scientists knew how to put people down."

"The NRA is elated," said NRA President Charleton Heston. "The Florida Senate has cleared the way for its citizens to put down the Senate at the Federal level virtually overnight for which one of us has a Senator or Congressman not stolen from or perhaps tried to have killed through bogus military service."

The open-ended language on the bill sponsored by Sen. Durell Peaden Jr. didn't concern some lawmakers.

"Under the wording of this bill, somebody could go onto any of the streets and if they think somebody is walking toward them in a threatening fashion, they can pull out a gun and begin blasting away which is the beauty of this bill," said Sen. 'Starvin' Steven Goulatti, R-Purse Snatch Beach, who sought unsuccessfully to amend the bill on Tuesday to include eating your victim or retaining the right to sell the corpse.

"We're heading towards a Wild West mentality, yippee" Goulatti said. "I anxious to when you get two guys standing on the street, both of them ready, the guns at their side, and some cop says 'Now wait a minute. Don't draw until you get my count of three.'"

Peaden, R-Crestview, scoffed at the characterization. "We ain't got cops that can count to their threes."

"You have to be within the confines of the Florida as described in this bill. Just tell the judge, 'Judge I don't find Florida all that confinin'," Peaden said during Wednesday's floor debate. "You just can't shoot anybody on the street and drag 'em in. Some folks in Florida is big. You might need a winch. We need a winch law."

Geller said he voted for the bill for political/economic reasons.

"We'd be seen as Democrats soft on crime and that ain't the way that the people who own me wanted me to go, and they already killed with impunity since 1926" he said.

A similar proposal (HB 249) was approved on an 8-2 vote Wednesday by the House Frontier Justice Council.

Governor Bush was asked if he thought the citizens of the Great State Of Florida were ready to handle their guns. Jeb's response was, "They couldn't handle their dicks. That's what brought them to this state. Let's hope they can get a better grip on something a little longer and that's already hard."


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