The Assassinated Press

If you Tea Bag Patriots Resent a School Teacher Who Earns $52,000, You Must Have a Fucking Hot White Hatred for a Corporate CEO or Wall Street Banker that makes $520,000,000 a Year.
“Shit! I wouldn’t want to be one of those rich guys. No siree. Not with you Tea Baggers around with your impeccable sense of justice.”--- David Koch, Koch Industries

By KRYPTO FARCIST
The Assassinated Press
3/19/11

If a teacher’s salary and benefits sends you Tea Baggers into a rage, then you must wake up every fucking morning with bloody red murder on your mind for the likes of the Koch brothers and other rich kleptocrats.

And you got guns. Screeching Tea Bag Harpies from Sarah Palin to Sharon Angle to Jan Brewer to Michele Bachmann have told us so. Second Amendment remedies indeed.

Sure you’re scared for America like Glenn Beck says, but being scared doesn’t necessarily make you cowards or sissies anymore than going after the weak, defenseless and dispossessed does.

Tea Bag Harpies and you their minions may be a bit confused about whose fucking who over. But that can’t be the source of your rage.

No, you’re no fools. If its rich corporate white men fucking you over like the Koch brothers, maybe its best you grab onto the rich folks’ titties. Feel a little of that milky trickle down your cheeks. Just make sure it’s not David Koch’s dick you’ve got in your mouth.

And you Tea Baggers love snuggling up to the rich. You love sharing a ‘secret’ code with the people that re fucking your future. You’ve been taught to look for the instant cheap grartification.

‘Poor’ is code for ‘black’ and ‘hispanic.’ ‘Unemployed’ is code for ‘lazy.’ But even as you become poor and unemployed you can’t see the irony. Irony is too confusing for the average Tea bagger and thinkin’ on it throws him or her into a rage.

It’s hard taking care of yourself in America. So if you gotta suck a rich man’s cock to make you feel loved, suck away. For bigoted, ignorant, asshole fucks like you it’s always been bread and circuses only.

The Price of Kleptocracy

But soon the bread will be gone. And the circus whether it be FOX or the WWE will be too costly for Tea Bag Bubba even if it’s free.

What’s to become of you Tea Bag bigots once your irrelevant having served as the vanguard of Americans to the bottom, having rushed headlong to secure third world status at the hands of your kleptocratic masters? All of them guns, and you didn’t fire a shot a shot in the direction of your tormenters.

What the fuck are you going to tell your kids? Mommy and Daddy talk a big game but the rich scare them. The rich have more firepower than we do.

Maybe somewhere in that tiny Tea Bag brain, the lies and the canards of the corporations and their stooges become too hard to swallow. Or maybe’s it’s just David Koch’s insistent demands that you swallow more and more of his Madison Avenue jizz or let him give it to you in the ass--- every fucking working day.

Though steeped in hate and fear, in your tea buggered heart of hearts, you must realize who’s really s fucking you over. That indeed you have acted like “turkeys at your own Thanksgiving.”

That it was corporate ‘gobblization’ had shipped your jobs overseas.

That the resulting unemployment as well as the relatively poor quality of public education were by design, so that your sons and daughters would have nowhere to turn for jobs but the military where they would for all intent and purposes simply be protecting the property of the uber-rich or looting countries for an insatiable American plutocracy.

And. And with your help the rest of America was getting shafted too. But at least some part of the electorate stood up against the wealthy looters that have co-opted the institutions and turned this into a corporate state, a kind of inverse Fascist state where corporations and banks run the government not the other way around.

But those brave patriots weren’t you. Not in a million years will your stoogecraft be remembered as anything but utter cowardice.

And no amount of fucking FOX agitprop can flip that.


home