The Assassinated Press

"I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die"Rag
(Middle Eastern/Afghan Version)
[Apologies to Country Joe and the Fish]

By Henry Kissmyassinger
And the (N)ational (A)ssociation of (M)anufacturers
The Assassinated Press
9/13/10

Gimme an F!
F!
Gimme an U!
U!
Gimme an C!
C!
Gimme an K!
K!
What's that spell ?
FUCK!
What's that spell ?
FUCK!
What's that spell ?
CHENEY!

Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Afghanistan
So put down your beer and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get those rag heads ó
The only good Muslimís the one who's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Huh!

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
Why man, this is war au-go-go.
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the Army with the tools of the trade,
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb,
They drop it on the Tal-i-ban.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Afghanistan.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.


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