"The sense of innocence and entitlement that form the foundation of an infantilized culture like America's astonishes the rest of the world especially when weighed against historical fact." The Assassinated Press--Accepting the Truth So America Doesn't Have to.
Cynicism in the defense of liberty is no vice.
THE ASSASSINATED PRESS
*Shoving Truth in the Mouths of Liars* THE ASSASSINATED PRESS: A MAGAZINE OF CONTEMPT. "Contempt is the sincerest form of flattery."-Karl Rove
"If the lions don't like it, they won't eat it." Daniel Drew
To paraphrase Peter Carlson of the Washington Post: "If someone tried to reveal what really goes on in Washington, he'd start howling like a banshee..." The Assassinated Press is that banshee.
The Assassinated Press is NOT copyrighted and may be reproduced and disseminated in any form whatsoever.Nicaragua's Ballot Upsets Spoiled Pricks at Post.
Once Again Washington Post’s Hatred for Poor People Is on Display.
After Years of Misery Under Post Approved Rule Nicaraguans Again Seek Social Justice, Food, Clothing, Health Care, Education, Shelter, Everything the Post Would Deny Them.
Post Insists On White President In Nicaragua.
President Daniel Ortega moves to construct another egalitarian society.
DONNY TAODICK
November 16, 2008U.S. Plans for Expanded War in Pakistan/Afghanistan/Eastern Iran Region.
Expansion of Afghan Airfield to House Special Army Aviation Unit, Protect Oil Interests, Spy on Turkmenistan.
Platform Will Be in Place to Bomb the Entire Region “Back to the Stone Age.”
Halliburton Gets a 95%/5% Split to Do the Job.
By WALDO PUNKASS
November 10, 2008Lawrence Summers Being Considered For Secretary of Treasury Because He Promised to Lead the Feds to Where the Stolen Wall Street Money Is Hidden.
Stolen Wall Street Trillions Said to be in a Cave Down the Road from Bin Laden.
Pakastani Residents Say Constant Flow of Trucks Filled with America’s Chinese Leveraged Cash Disturbs Sleep, Affects Birth Rate in Goats.
Summers Plan to Kill Millions of Africans Back on the Front Burner in Obama Administration.
By IMA STOOGEY
Nov. 5, '08Congo’s President Joseph Kabila: Dynasty or Travesty?
By KEITH HARMON SNOW
13 November 2007
Kabila and BushEuropean, U.S. Envoys Visit E. Congolese City and Admire The Death and Destruction their Policies Have Wrought.
Congolese Cobalt, Copper, Diamonds, Gold, Silver, Tin and Coltan to Remain in Post-Colonial Kleptocratic Hands.
By STUPUDDLY MISSCRUMCAKE and COLUMNS O’LYNCHMOBS
November 1, 2008The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
October 30, 2008
www.killinghope.org
Don't tell my mother I work at the White House. She thinks I play the piano in a whore house.Wall Street Bailout is Wondrous, But the Post Draws the Line at Bailout for Joe the Autoworker.
Slippery Slope. Welfare for Detroit? What’s Next? Welfare for the Post?
Should Lower-Paid Workers Making $50,000 a Year Help ‘Subsidize’ Those Averaging $56,650 at GM? A Distinction Without a Difference.
Should Post Editors Average $175,000 a Year Salary When a Detroit Auto-Worker Actually Makes Something Other than Word-Shit.
JEFFEY LUBE
Monday, October 27Bush Urges Nations to Show Patience in Grift Economy.
“You’ll Get Your Money, Motherfuckers,” Bush Tells G-8.
By DOOBIE RAKITIN
10/25/08Colin Powell's Endorsement Could Sink Barack Obama.
Cheney’s Puppet at U.N. Leading Up to Iraq War Seen as Career Liar, Not To Mention the First Fuckin' Iraq War.
Powell Endorsement Places Death of Hundreds of Thousands at Obama's Doorstep.
By BEENY WASHEDUP
October 20, 2008Sure Enough, Panty Sniffing at the NSA.
Just as Reported by the Assassinated Press on Many Occasions, Crotch Crawlers Dominate U.S. Intelligence.
U.S. Listens In on Sex Calls of Americans Abroad.
“The Heart of the Intelligence Community’s Turf Is the World’s Taint, That Strip of Stink between the Asshole and the Cunt and/or Balls .”—Thomas Clines
By JERBIL WADDICK
October 10, 2008Pussy Saved Spitzer; Ghost of Dick Cheney Tells Nostradamus News That if Eliot Spitzer Had Not Had a Taste for Whores He Would have Been a Dead Man.
Spitzer’s ‘Hobby’ Allowed Homeland Security, the Cheney Administration to Discredit Him Rather Than Kill Him.
By MADAM TORSO & TED SCOWPLE
Nostradamus News Service
10/13/2056Todd and Sarah Palin Embrace Every American’s Fantasy of Overthrowing the Government.
Palins and their Alaska Independence Party Are Bill Ayers without the Balls.
When President Sarah ‘Plain’ Plans a Pall Mall Country.
"Race War Small price for McCain/Palin Victory," Plain Sarah Tells Floridians.
By KOKO KANE & KRYSTALL METH
Oct. 6, 2008Trucks With the Logos of Major Banks and Financial Institutions Seen Lining Up At the Back of the Treasury Building Hours Before Bush Signed Bill.
Upon Signing Bush Heard to Repeat Ronald Reagan's S&L Deregulation Bill Signing Mantra--"We've Hit the Jackpot!"
Back In the U.S.S.A; Socialism Among Thieves.
Bush Re-enacts Historic Financial Rescue.
After Receiving Their Quid Pro Quos ‘Principled’ House Passes Plan By Wide Margin, but Stocks Keep Falling.
Does Ted Nugent Remind You of Yosemite Sam or What?
By LOUIE RIPNRUN & KOKO KANE
October 4, 2008The Anti-Empire Report
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Ant-Empire Report
October 1, 2008
www.killinghope.org
101 ways to get rich without doing anything socially usefulMr. Paulson, Tear Down This Wall Street!
The Paulson Put(sch)
Questions for the new CEO of US Government Inc.
by LILA RAJIVA
September 25, 2008Is Sarah Palin the Messiah in Mukluks? Candidate Tells Reporter “No Comment.”
Huge Crowd in Florida, Meteoric Rise Speak to Second Coming, Day of Reckoning.
Will Rapture Come Before November Taking Her Voting Base Into Heaven and Robbing Palin of Presidency After Ol' Man McCain Dies Flopping When He Shoulda Flipped?
By BUTSY GRINDHARD
9/23/08Paulson derides calls for added help in bailout scheme
By FARTIN CROTCHSNIFFER
9/22/08Bush Urges Quick Passage of Trillion Dollar Bailout Package; Bankers Anxious To Loot It.
Cheney and McCain Say It’s Fine If Voters Want to Blame Banking Crisis on Poor People.
RNC Report Claims People Earning Less Than Thirty Thousand Dollars a Year Represent the Most Powerful and Influential Bloc of Americans.
Sarah Palin’s Trailer Is in Foreclosure; Family Survived On Moose Stew and Muck Luck Soup.
By LORREY MOUNTGAMELY, DARBY CHOKACHICKEN & HOW SCHNEID
September 22, 2008American Gluttony Batters Cuban Regime.
Hurricanes Battering Southern Coast of U.S. Are Blowback From CIA and Fast Food Industry’s Secret Methane War on Cuba.
U.S. Uber-Consumption Has Brought About Through Global Climate Change the Storms Destroying Island Nation.
Super-Sized Avaricious Traits Prove Secret U.S. Weapon.
Storm Relief Would Be Sent Directly to Havana Government from Fort Detrick.
Phil Gramm and the Whiners' Hit Single 'I'm Fucked and Your Not. How Is That Possible?'Tops Wall Street's Top 100.
By EATETH DEYOUNG
September 16, 2008Wall Street, Phil Gramm & the Cheney Administration Bring You “DEPRESSION ERA FAVORITES.”
Stocks Plunge as Crisis Intensifies.
AIG at Risk; $700 Billion In Shareholder Value Vanishes.
By GLENDA KEESTER & DOVEY HILZOWRATH
September 16, 2008Little Known Quasi-Government Agency Signs Contracts with CIA to Overthrow Bolivian and Thai Governments. U.S. Receipt & Respond or USRR to Cut Back Agents in Zimbabwe Now that Mugabe Has Been Hopelessly Crippled.
CIA to Retain Control Over the Assassination of Hugo Chavez Though Some in Congress Call for ‘New Blood.’
In Environment of Market Failure Company Known as the ‘Little House of Horrors’ Shows Privatization Can Work.
Venezuela Joins Bolivia and Honduras in Expelling U.S. Ambassador.
By WAN DEYOYO
September 12, 2008Financial Rescues Show That the Free Market Is a Myth Requiring an Unbearably Ignorant Populace Who Perpetually Turns Over Its Wealth to a Venal Kleptocracy and the Requirements of Constant Global Slaughter to Maintain an Empire.
By STUFFI PEARLSWINE
September 12, 2008Talking Presidential Requires a F**KED Tongue.
The Kennebunkport Wing of the Republican Party Calls Palin and her Family ‘Trailer Trash.’
By JEFFEY LUBE
The Assassinated Press
9/8/08Is John McCain the Hanoi Candidate?
The Kennebunkport Wing of the Republican Party Calls Palin and her Family ‘Trailer Trash.’
By MOTO-BENNY RAVIOLI
The Assassinated Press & Fly On the Wall Media Enterprises
9/8/08The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
September 5, 2008
www.killinghope.org
Obama-Biden -- Osama bin Laden: A coincidence? I think not.It’s the Hottest Ticket at Langley, Georgetown University.
Real Time Televised CIA Coup Against the Democratically Elected Government of Thailand Draws Hundreds to Classrooms and Lecture Halls around Washington.
Thai Protesters Supported by U.S. Funds Defy Premier's State of Emergency. Will Their Be Blood in the Streets!?
After Receiving Gifts of Cash Electoral Commission Wants Leader's Party Disbanded.
By FRANK ' CHEEZE' WHIZZNER
September 3, 2008Guns and Guidebooks Outlet Has Wealthy Residents Up In Arms.
Compass Guns & Ammo Offers a Bit More than Buckshot.
Open Sales of Blueprints, Guides, Medical Records and Personal Schedules of Billionaire’s and Their Estates Makes Resident’s of Gated Communities Fearful.
By YASO ADIODI
9/1/08Unearthing What's Hardly a Secret about the Washington Post’s Reporting on Colombia's Long War.
Forensic Teams Track Victims 'Disappeared' by Death Squads Back to Official U.S. Policy.
By WAN DEYOYO
Friday, August 27, 2008Iraqi Leader Pushes Hard for Accord. Maliki Demands All U.S. Troops Pull Out by 2011.
Cheney Says U.S. Will Attack Iraq If Maliki Persists: “Don’t Worry. We’re Use to Attacking People We Funded and Trained. It’s Part of Our Free Market Theory of War and Murder. Let Freedom Ring, Ka-ching, Ka-ching! Oil Uber Alles!! And Tell T. Boone to Go Fuck Himself.”
Timetable for U.S. Troop Withdrawal Tied to Cheney’s Big Oil Buddies and Their Piece of Iraq’s Oil. “You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass We’re Not Leaving without Our Sweet Crude,” Exxon Mobil’s Rex Tillerson Confirms.
Cheney Sells Out Troops for Greater Share of Oil. Cheney Agrees that American Troops Are Not Immune From Iraqi Law, Both On and Off Military Bases and Regardless of Whether They Are Off Duty.
De Facto President Cheney, Uses as Precedence for Reversing Policy the Logic Behind Domestic Spying and Panty Sniffing—“If You’ve Done Nothing Wrong, If You've Got Nothing to Hide, You’ve Got Nothing to Worry About. Right? Oh, and Don’t Worry About What I Told You, You Could or Couldn’t Do. That’ll Remain Our Little Secret.”
By AHDMET U.R. QILTY
August 26, 2008We Can Only Go So Far. As the World's Bully We’re Throwing Our Weight Around. But History Isn't On Our Side Because I Said History Ended With My 1992 Best Seller, The End of History, and We Keep Acting Like It Really Did.
Why in a World Where Millions of People Could Snap My Neck Like a Balsa Wood Strut Am I Not Only Still Alive, But Sending People Off To Die to Enrich Me and My Cronies?
Bush Signs Agreement Giving Iraqis Jurisdiction Over Crimes Performed by U.S. Servicmen and Contractors Saying, “Its Just Like Our Domestic Spying Laws in the U.S. If You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong You Have Nothing to Worry About. Right?”
By FRANCIS FUKYOMAMA
August 24, 2008U.S. Extraditions Raise Concerns in Colombia.
U.S. Officials Extradite Colombian Paramilitary Drug Assassins Before They Can Implicate Those Self-Same U.S. Officials in Drug Smuggling and Murder in Colombia.
“Cheney and Clinton Administration Working Hand In Hand With Right Wing Colombian Death Squads Because Otherwise They Would Have Been Exposed If We Didn’t Bring Our Friends to the U.S. and Shut Them the Fuck Up,” Attorney General Mike ‘The Mick’ Mukasey Warns.
U.S./Colombian Criminal Alliance Reminiscent of 30 Year Love Affair between the Guatemalan Military, the White Hand, the Monkey and the Johnson/Nixon/Carter/Reagan/Bush/Clinton White Houses.
In Colombia 'Justice and Peace' Process May Be Imperiled by White House, Congress, CIA Covering its Collective Asses.
By WAN DEYOYO
Aug. 19, 2008Cheney Hazed Georgia; Cheney Told Georgia If You Want to Join NATO Your Initiation Test Is to Invade South Ossetia. U.S. ‘Advisors’ on Ground in Georgia.
U.S. Leaders Increasingly Critical of Russian Escalation.
U.S. Brags Its Bombing of Serbia May Have Been Tardy But Was Far More Destructive.
Russia Nips In the Bud Georgian Genocide of South Ossetians.
Human Rights Groups, the Hague Show Rare Courage, Defy U.S., Leap In to Condemn Georgia, Lose Funding.
By WATA BUMMERSPHITZ & COMTUDA LYNCHING
Monday, August 11, 2008; 11:20 AMThe Elections Are Coming. Is the CIA?
Will the Mad Bombers of Langley Favor the Democrats Again?
By RUSE RIDDLE
August 10, 2008The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
August 5, 2008
www.killinghope.org
Obama and the EmpireIraq's and Oil Companies’ Profits Huge While U.S. Shoulders Reconstruction After Destroying Infrastructure.
Iraq Replies “You Break It, You Pay For It. And Don’t Give Us Any of This Liberation Shit. You Came for the Oil.”
By HAL O’MIRRORS
8/6/08McCain's Problem Isn't His Tactics. It's GOP Lies.
Pols Gone Wild! Brittany's Cunt; Paris' Clit. From L.A.'s Top Pig to Hanoi Ann’s War Loser McCain, Authorities Reveal their Fantasies.
L.A. Police, FBI Pose as Paparazzi to Intimidate Stars, Endanger Public.
"When Will McCain Pay Back the American Government for the Five Fighter Jets He Lost in Vietnam?"—Robert Gates, Secretary of War
By JERRY RIGGED
August 3, 2008New Premises in Iraq Depend on Prospects for Withdrawal Being Viewed through the Politics of Oil.
“If It Weren’t for the Oil, We Could Pull that ‘Peace with Honor Shit Again.”
“Impeaching Dick Cheney Would Be Like Nailing Al Capone for Income Tax Evasion or Richard Nixon for Watergate.”
Ockham's Razor Points to Oil.
By HENRY A. KISSMYASSINGER
July 31, 2008If It’s Global, It’s Relative. A Few Colombians Rally While the Billions of the World's Dispossessed Look to the FARC.
’Millions’ of Colombian Protesters in Headline Changed to Tens of Thousands in Body of Article, Then Several Thousand in Photograph. Colombian Park Service Reports Crowd at 1500.
"Revenge Is Not a Response Peasants Are Worthy Of," Doctor Phil Says.
By WAN DE YOYO
July 21, 2008Poll Finds Voters Split on Candidates' Iraq-Pullout Positions.
Republicans Prefer the Missionary Position, Now That Abstinence Is Out of the Question.
Republicans Suggest Obama Bomb Something to Appear More Manly like Cheney or McCain.
"Hey. Them Combat Scars on Your Chest, Mr. Cheney?" "Yeah, They're From Trying to Choke Down Another Rack of Ribs."
By Jonny Weismalice
July 15, 2008Prosecutor Charges American President with Genocide, Shoots Himself.
PETTY BARKER
July 14, 2008Winner of Country Music's Best Song of the Year.
Dana Goya's Toby Keith Style Anthem Takes Nashville By Storm.
"You're a Rich man's Whore" Number One With a High Velocity Bullet on Country Billboard 100.
By YASO ADIODI
7/10/08The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
July 4, 2008
www.killinghope.org
Some thoughts on "patriotism" written on July 4Cheney, Bush, State Department Officials Got Taste from Hunt/Kurd Oil Deal and Lied about It.
Lying Not Meant to Deceive, “It’s Just Genetic among Us Folks,” Says White House Spokesman, Tom Casey.
Contract Contradicted State Dept.'s Public Stance.
By SNUFFI MUFFTI
July 3, 2008Lights! Camera! Action! Uribe, RNC, McCain Campaign Strike Deal with FARC, Stage Hostage Release.
Administration, McCain Campaign Will Not Discuss Quid Pro Quo of Mini-October Surprise.
By WAN THE YOYO
July 3, 2008My Father Was Loyal to Mugabe. So The Washington Post and the U.S. Kleptocracy Fucked Him Up.
By CRISPUS ANIMUS
June 29, 2008Addington, Yoo Give Candid Testimony about Origins of Interrogation Policies.
Psychological Legalisms Behind Torture Policy Demonstrated To Committee.
By DOWNA SHITBANK
June 27, 2008U.N. Finds CIA’s Afghan Opium Trade Rising.
Purported Noah's Ark Turned Out to be a CIA Cigarette Boat Mysteriously Stranded Atop Mount Ararat in Eastern Turkey.
By COMTUDA LYNCHING
June 27, 2008Inhofe Says: “Global Warming Is a Hoax. And I’ve Got the Bank Accounts to Prove It.”
Inhofe Declares “No Surrender” In War With Angry Brown Planet. Says the American Consumer Will Not Be Intimidated by Torrential Rains, Floods, Drought, Brush Fires, Hurricanes, Mud Slides, Locusts and Tornadoes.
“The clashes have been particularly frequent with the administration of Dick ‘Give Me Oil or Give Me Death’ Cheney.”
By David Fahrentheit 451
June 23, 2008Faux President Bush Urges Quick Passage of Panty Sniffing Bill.
Obama Considered Prime Target of Wire Taps. Hoyer, Obama, Other Key Democrats Already Blackmailed Into Voting for Measure.
41 CEOs of Outsourced Intelligence Programs Request Soiled Pairs of Scarlett Johansson’s Panties for National Security Reasons.
By BIG EGGO, PALL KORN & SPOOKS BRANIGIN
June 20, 2008Rice: US Government Deeply Involved In Iraq No-Bid Oil Contracts.
4000 Dead Americans and Hundreds of Thousands of Dead Iraqis the Truth Be Told All for Big Oil Just Like Anyone With the Slightest Bit of Self-Respect Knew.
“Surprise! It Was About Oil!” Cheney Jokes At Russert Funeral. “I Mean, How Much Ink Could You Have Gotten Out of The Truth, Assholes. We Did the Press a Favor.”
By IMA STOOGEY
6/19/20U.N. Warns of Impending Food Crisis in Zimbabwe If Mugabe Doesn’t Immediately Surrender Country to ‘Whitey.’
By COLUMS LYNCHMOB
June 19, 2008McCain Scolds Troops: “How the Fuck Do You Think an Imperialist Country Projects Power? Permanent Bases, Assholes. I’m Not Going To Regroup You Fuckers All over Again When I Invade Iran. No, You Cocksuckers Stay!”
Cheney Leads Chant at Meeting of U.S. Chamber of Commerce: "Drill!" "Oil!" "Gas!" "Kill!" "More!" "Drill!" "Oil!" "Gas!" "Kill!" "More!" "Drill!" "Oil!" "Gas!" "Kill!" "More!"
U.S. Troops Urged to Marry Local Iraqi Girls, Convert to Islam. “You’re Going to Be There For a Long Time, Suckers,” 'Betray Us' Petraeus Taunts.
“I Want To Go Home. Iraq Is Not Like Japan and Korea. I Can’t Buy No Pussy in Iraq,” Soldiers Lament. Bush Admits “Pussy Is a Problem” in Iraq.
U.S. Outsources Pussy; Close to Striking Deal With White Slavery Ltd., a Division of Halliburton.
By JONNY WEISSMALICE
June 12, 2008Fred Hiatt Says Pre-Emptive War Is Here to Stay Or Get Your Fuckin’ Intelligence in Order, Booz Allen, Northrup Grumman, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, CSC, General Dynamics, BAE Systems, CACI, ManTech, Blackwater, In-Q-Tel, AT&T, ITT, IBM, Google etc.
Doesn't Anyone in the Government Do Intelligence Anymore? No?
'Bush Lied'? But Isn’t He Too Simple?
By TURD HIHAT
June 9, 2008Let’s Boil Them in OIL!
Just When Capital Punishment Is Justified by Cheney/Bush Administration’s Crimes, Americans Lose Their Nerve.
You Know They Knew They Were Lying. It’s Time To Atone or Face Eternal Damnation.
Cheney, Bush Lied to a Grateful Nation. But Now It’s Time To Be an Ingrate.
Bush Inflated Threat from Iraq's Banned Weapons, Report Says.
By MUMBLY WARWACK, WALDO PUNKASS & YASO ADIODI
June 6, 2008The Anti-Empire Report
By WILLIAM BLUM
June 6, 2008
www.killinghope.org
The Empire -- A Status ReportThe Great Satan Wears Prada. Blinded by Stars (and Strip Malls) in Their Eyes: It’s Time to Invade Iran.
If Each American Squad Includes a Hairdresser, The Iranians Will Greet Us With Kisses and Flowers.
Most of the Middle East hates America, but rich Iranians see more opportunity. It's their egalitarian president they can't stand.
By HEDZUP MIFANNY
June 1, 2008The Role of Geography in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.
Imperialist Armies Thousands of Miles from Home More likely to Suffer from PTSD than Combatants Defending Their Homeland.
Bogus Rationales About ‘Protecting Freedoms at Home’ By Traveling Half-Way Around the World to Alien Cultures Prove Ineffective Except Among the Most Easily Bull-shitted.
Official Lies Create Stress.
"Fuck. I won't let a girl scout come up on my front porch without me gittin' my shotgun. I can't imagine what the average Iraqi's thinking."
By YASO ADIODI
5/28/08It’s Easy To Get The News From Movies And Boys Die Miserably Every Day From The Bullshit That Is To Be Found There.
Spielberg’s 'Crystal Skull' Is Empty -- Therefore Awesome!
By STUPHIE POONTER
May 22, 2008U.S., British, White South African Subversion in Zimbabwe Having Desired De-Stabilizing Effect on Rest of Africa.
By CRUGER APARTHEID
May 19, 2008To Great Relief of the World’s Oppressed, FARC Computer Files Are Authentic, Interpol Probe Finds.
Chavez’s, Correa’s Offer of Aid to Colombian Freedom Fighters Deemed Genuine.
U.S.’s, Colombian Oligarchy’s, Washington Post’s Hatred of Poor Once Again Demonstrated.Despite Brutality, Cheney Unable to Goad Iran into Conflict.
Sadr Bides Time, Tells His Militia To Cease Hostilities.
Cleric, in Return, Wants Followers' Release, Amnesty.
“The Way Cheney and his Gang Have Been Played, Ahmadinejad May have a Decent ‘Shot’ at the White House in 2012.”
Iran Brokers Cease Fire, Americans in the Field with Their Pants Down.
“Its like a big Waco over there in Iraq. What if the U.S. government attacked my flock like that? At least we got more weapons than the Sadrists if not the courage,” Pat Robertson Muses on the 700 Club.
NRA Firmly Behind Sadrists' Second Amendment Rights to Bear Arms. "After all them fucks are a real militia," declares Charleton Heston from his cold dead Botox mouth.
By SHOAHS A. FREEMAN & SUDSY RAGAMAVAN
March 31, 2008Oops! In Apologia Post Retracts Claims Uribe’s Military Is Decimating Rebels; Instead Colombian Troops Kill Farmers, Pass Off Bodies as Rebels'.
Corporate Death Squad Welfare: Its Bad Enough That All of This Murder Is for The Benefit of U.S. Corporations. But Then the Great American Bald Lemming Foots the Bill and Pulls the Trigger. Support Our Troops?
“It’s Not the Chicken or the Egg, Assholes of the American Media. The Peasants Are Enslaved, Exploited and Murdered Into Becoming the Rebels.”
By WAN DE YOYO
March 30, 2008The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
March 29, 2008
www.killinghope.org
Propaganda as an Olympic competitionCheney Moves to Open His Oil Port in Southern Iraq.
De Facto President Gives Basra Freedom Fighters Ultimatum.
Cheney Violates Sadr’s Cease Fire.
If Sadr Lifts Cease Fire Iraqi Proxies Expected to Turn and Attack Americans.
Purpose of Cheney’s Middle East Junket Now Perfectly Clear to Everyone Except the Assholes in the Media.
Last Years British Cut and Run Gives U.S. Another Opportunity to Engage in Violence.
Rocket Attacks Turn Green Zone Red.
By NOAH FREEMAN HERR & SUDSY RAGOO
March 26, 2008China Fears Olympics Backlash from Poor Human Rights Record of Corporate Sponsors.
Coke and Pepsi’s Draining of Local Aquifers, Slave and Child Labor in Apparel and Sneaker Industry, NAFTA, GATT, U.S. Oil Grabs in Sudan, Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq Cited.
MOE FANNY
March 25, 2008For the Faux President It’s A Matter of Being Too Much of a Dumb Fuck to Even Know Where to Begin to Interfere in the Economy.
However, De Facto President Cheney's Administration Abetted Theft That Led to Crisis.
If It Doesn’t Involve Mining a Personal Orifice Bush Is Out of the Loop.
Bush's Relative Inactivity on Economy Reflects the Fact That He’s an Idiot.
Spitzer Outed For Exposing Cheney Administrations Role in Accelerating the Mortgage Crisis.
Jeff Gannon Named New Ambassador to Britain.
By DARN EGONAMIFACCI
March 23, 2008McCain Key Stooge in Invasion of Iran.
Three Weeks Before The Election Administration, FOX News Will Create A Pretext for Iranian Invasion.
Doddering Baby Killing Front Man Mixes Up Iraqi Groups.
Senator Misstates Which Freedom Fighters Are Aided by Iran.
Media Mum On Cheney's Successful Trip to Suck Saudi Cock.
By CAM CORDER & MIKE SNEER
March 19, 2008Fuck Obama! Elect Jeremiah Wright!
GOD DAMN AMERICA Is Right, Right & Right On the Money!
Obama’s Courageous Pastor Has Uncanny Grasp of U.S. Domestic and Foreign Policy and History.
What God Wouldn't Damn a Country That Produced an Abomination Like Bill O'Reilly?
By YASO ADIODI SMITH
3/16/08Cheney to Visit to Saudi Arabia and Blow Royal Family for a Job Well Done.
Severely Chapped Lips from Blowing his Energy Task Force Delayed Visit.
Cheney Will Also Return What’s Left of the $200,000,000 Prince Bandar Left in Cheney’s Safe on 9/11.
"Its Downward Harmonization Time, Assholes," Energy Secretary Sam Bodman Tells American Public.
By SNUFFI MUFFTI
March 11, 2008Montgomery County Cops Balk at Paying Speed Camera Fines to Career Criminal, Darwin Deason.
Only Company With Speeding Ticket Contract is Above the Law: $16.25 of Every $40.00 Fine Goes Into Affiliated Computer Services' owner Deason’s Pocket to Help Pay His Lawyers' Fees to Avoid SEC Fines, Jail Time.
Deason About to Get Statewide Contracts to Fleece Maryland Taxpayers.
“Leggett Administration Needs to Be Investigated. You know in your heart Deason is bribing people,” Father Antoine Flotsky, St. Pasdabosquet Parish.
By ARNIE PALUCCI
March 8, 2008The Ponzi Scheme of Carcinogen and Cure.
Bill Gates Heavily Invested in Creating Diseases He's Heavily Invested in Curing.
Toxic Cloud Hangs Over Gates Foundation Rhetoric.
Bush Gives $15 Billion to U.S. Pharmaceutical Industry to Fight Aids in Africa When Generic African Produced Pharmeceuticals Would Have Reached Far More people in Need and at a Fraction of The Cost.
U.S. Pharmeceutical Companies Have Filed Dozens of Suits to Block Production of African Generics.
Phoney U.S. Corporate Drug Largesse Reinforces False Stereotype that Africa Cannot Stand on Its Own.
George Bush Sits On Bono's Face and Bono Likes It.U.S., British Embargoes Close to Starving Out Zimbabweans.
Cheney Administration Close to Achieving Mass Starvation, Civil Unrest in Zimbabwe.
Payback for Land Reform Cold Blooded Murder.
By CRAIG TIMBERRR
February 24, 2008Burn, Baby, Burn! U.S. Embassy in Belgrade Torched.
News of Kosovo Independence Last Straw for Moderate Serbs as They Lash Out.
Illegal NATO Bombing Campaign Especially Novi Sad Singled Out.
“You Bomb Our Bridges, We Burn Your Embassy.”
Serb Moderates Again Feel Betrayed by American and European Kleptocrats.
Iraqis Say “Welcome to the Club.”
Clinton’s ‘Turkish Route’ for Black Sea Oil Sealed by Destruction of Yugoslavia.
By PAT FONEY & ROBBEM WRITE
February 22, 2008NATO Isn’t Just For Europe Anymore.
European Alliance Members Reluctant To Risk Life And Treasure Securing Dick Cheney’s Pipeline Across Afghanistan.
Soon We’ll Fuckin’ See the North Atlantic Treaty Organization in Africa, Latin America, Mars.
By MICKEY GERKIN
February 13, 2008If It’s Good Enough For the Sunnis, Its Good Enough For Our Kids.
Administration’s Iraq Solution Would Work in American Schools.
Second Amendment Right Finds Its Confirmation in Iraq.
YASO ADIODI
2/15/08Regis Says He Will Retire and Minister to the Venezuelan Poor.
By IMA STOOGEY & SUDSY RAGOO
The Assassinated Press
2/15/08Chinese Catch a Break; Spielberg Quits Role In Olympic Ceremonies.
Director Cites Chinese Support of Sudan While Either Ignoring or Being Totally Ignorant of U.S. Role.
“It shouldn’t surprise anyone that the Dixie Chicks have more balls than Spielberg does."
By FAUN BOOTH & MICKEY ABUMMERWITZ
February 13, 2008With Gross Sales Larger than Most Country’s GNP, Exxon/Mobil Plots with Cheney Administration, Courts, Banks to Starve Out Venezuela.
Administration Sees Oil Companies Suit as Way of Discrediting Chavez and Plunging Venezuela Back Into its Former Impoverished State.
The Fix is In from New York Court Ruling, to Processing of Heavy Crude, to Commercial Transactions, the Evil Empire Is the Only Game in Town.
By SNUFFI MUFFTI
February 13, 2008Only Those Wealthy Enough to Own a PC Turn Out For Anti-FARC Rallies.
45 to 1 No-Shows Demonstrate How Impoverished Colombia Remains For the Majority Under Cheney’s, Uribe’s Tutelage.
Elitist Harvard Origins of Facebook Evident In Wealthy White Anti-FARC Crowd. USAID Behind Anti-FARC Group.
“Jesus Fuck Christ! So We Murdered 5000 Members of the Patriotic Union Before the 1988 Elections and Have Slaughtered 2+ Million Peasants. It’s Fuckin’ Time For The FARC to Get Over It,” Uribe Tells a Cheering Crowd of the Wealthy Few in Bogota.
Washington Post Again Demonstrates Its Utter Contempt and Hatred for Poor People.
By JUAN THE YOYO & KAREON BRUTALITARD
Feebleweary 5, 2008Exxon Mobil's Profit in 2007 Tops $40 Billion.
Oil Company Throws Huge Bash at Arlington Cemetery to Thank Those Who Made the Record Profits Possible.
Robber Barons Literally Dance on Dead Vets' Graves to the Tunes of Rascal Flats.
By SNUFFI MUFFTI
February 2, 2008The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
February 2, 2008
www.killinghope.orgU.S. Commanders in Iraq Favor Pause in Troop Cuts.
Petraeus and His Staff Want More Time to Pick Which Corporate Boards They Will Serve On; Which Oil Companies They Will Work For.
Cheney Responds “WILL Work For!!? Who the Fuck Do They Think They’re Taking Orders From Now!?”
After the “Spooge” Troop Draw Downs ‘Hard to Come’ By.
By PHIL T. RICH
January 31, 2008Mission Fait Accompli.
Old War Whores; Camp Followers Lead Military by the Nose, Get a Billion Dollars a Blow Job.
War Troughy: The Symbiosis of the Military Academies and Business Schools Means Inside Position at the Trough for Retiring Military.
U.S. Cannot Manage Contractors In Wars, Officials Testify on Hill.
Private Contactors Cost Six Times as Much as Military Personnel, Have Stolen Another Trillion Dollars of Taxpayer Money.
Cheney/Bush to Give the Great American Bald Lemming 600 Dollars to Give Back to War Effort, Oil Companies and Private Contractors—HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa………………………………………Ha
Problem Is Linked to Lack of Trained Service Personnel, Insatiable Greed and Unimaginable Murder.
By Waldo Punkass
January 25, 2008Electronic Panty Sniffing to Gain Immunity.
Senate Opens Debate On Wiretap Measure.
Telephone Companies Want Immunity After Caught Going Through Inocuous Citizens' Electronic Drawers.
By DAN EGGEMON
January 24, 2008Corporate Fraud Lawsuits Restricted.
Supreme Court Says No RICOs For Corporate Freakos.
Wall Street’s License To Steal Expanded.
"Corruption Is the Inaliable Glue of Any Faux Democratic System” High Court Constitutional Originalists Affirm. More Poor People Created For Rich People To Despise.
Enron and Other Shareholders Limited by Court.
"I have to do business with these assholes," Scalia Says in his Opinion.
By RED BARNES & PULIE MAY JOHNSON
January 16, 2008Contract For Safe Speed Traps In Montgomery, County Maryland Goes to a Nest of Thieves In Dallas.
ACS Awarded Parking Violations Contract in Montgomery County, Maryland.
With Affiliated Computer Services Involved Can Kickbacks to Maryland Officials Be Far Behind?
History of Sleazy Maryland Politics Remains Unbroken.
January 2, 2007Dallas Firm Run By Felonious Fruitcake Out of Dallas Tapped to Pick Pockets of Maryland Taxpayers.
Affiliated Computer Services of Dallas, Texas Awarded Parking Violations Contract in Montgomery County, Maryland.
Money, Not Public Safety Is the Object.
Deason Plans to Buy Bigger Yacht From Cash Scammed from Maryland Taxpayers.The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Anti-Empire Report
January 13, 2008
www.killinghope.org
An Unreasonable ManViolent Crime Down In First Half of 2007.
With Private Security Firms Like Blackwater and Dyncorp Employing More and More Criminals to Work in Iraq, U.S. Murder, Robbery, Rape Rates, Pedophelia, Domestic Abuse Drop.
Downturn In Crime Resembles Election Years When the Citizens Send Their Criminal Element to Washington and Crime Goes Down in Their Home States.
By GRIANT EGGO
January 8, 2008Once Again Pentagon Tries To Induce Another ‘Gulf of Tonkin’ by Steaming into Iranian Territorial Waters.
Pentagon Claims Rowdy Teenagers in Speedboats Were Threat to U.S. Fleet.
"Littering the Gulf of Hormuz" Called "Provocation" by Gates. If Iran Won't Discipline Its Youth U.S. Prepared to Come in and Do It For Them.
Event Reminiscent of Vietnam Era Canard.
Bush Says Region Must be Shaped In The “White Man’s Neo-cloneowny’all Image.”
By DIRK ‘SIDE’ BURNS
January 8, 2008As The Assassinated Press Predicted When Dick Cheney Descended To the Presidency, Oil Has Hit $100.00 a Barrel. Control of Supply, Demand and Speculation Equal $100 Barrel.
Among World’s Poor Only Venezuelans See Broad Benefit from Higher Oil Prices.
Ima Stoogey Wins The Assassinated Press Oil Office Pool; Guesses Precise Day Crude Nips $100.00 a Barrel.
By MICHA FILTCHER
January 3, 2008Grasping Neo-Cons Lure Bhutto to Her Death.
U.S. Brokered Bhutto's Return to Pakistan.
By ROBBEM FREUMDE-RIGHT and GLIB GOBBLER
December 28, 2007Whited Sepulchre: Huckabee's Hook-Up With Reagan-Bush Crimes
By CHRIS FLOYD
Baltimore Chronicle & Sentinel
Dec. 18,2007US Meddling in Rightwing Consolidation
Democracy in El Salvador?
By JOE DeRAYMOND
Counterpunch
March 26, 2004U.S. Meddling in Peruvian Presidential Race?
By JEREMY BIGWOOD
Upside Down World
March 15, 2006US Meddling In Electoral Process Nothing New in Nicaragua
By CIRCLES ROBINSON
November 03, 2006Zimbabwe's Divided Opposition Party Agrees to Reunite Ahead of March Elections After U.S. Makes Huge Illegal Cash Infusions Contingent on Unity.
Illegal Contributions Funneled through State Department, CIA, USAID, NED and the AFL-CIO.
The Washington Post Company Sets Aside Millions to Pay for Bullshit It Will Continue to Write About Zimbabwe in the Coming Months.
By CRAY TIMBURRRRRRRRRRR
December 28, 2007The Gowans Report
US Ambassador admits Washington is subverting the Belarus presidential election
by Stephen GowansA Bagman's Tale; The Cheney Administration, Washington Post Spin Yarn That Chavez Purchased Argentinian Allegiance For a Fraction of What U.S. Spends in Bribes and Quid Pro Quos Each Nano-Minute.
After U.S. Floods Over $40 Million Dollars Into Venezuelan Elections and Referendums With Mixed Results, U.S. State Department Closely Studies How Chavez May Have Done It for Just Pennies on the Dollar.
Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf Fondly Reminiscences About His Father’s Experiences as Bagman to the Shah of Iran and the Opposition to Mossadegh in 1952/53.
The Arrogant Fucking Shits at the Post Desperate to Strike Back at the World’s Poor.
By Yaso Adiodi
December 26, 2007Pentagon Tracks 'Santa's Progress'.
After 9/11 NORAD Not Taking Any Chances.
Some Reports Sight Camels Not Reindeer Pulling Sled; Bin Laden in a Fat Suit.
Rudolph’s Red Nose Shows Signs of Radioactivity.
Silhouetted, Sled Looks Like a Helicopter Gunship.
By KING COAL
24 December 2007‘Class Warfare’ Mongering
By ARNIE PALUCCI
12/22/07Halliburton Employees Rape Jenna Bush While First Daughter Is on USO Tour.
“I’m Certain That If Our Employees Had Known Who the Bitch Was, They'd've Thought Twice About Gang Banging Her,” said Halliburton Spokesperson Melissa Norcross.
State Department Will Not File Charges, Says First Daughter Lured Her Attackers.
Jenna To Get Two Hundred Lashes For Provocative Behavior.
By IMA STOOGEY
Dec./20/2007Is There Anyone in the Barzani Clan With an I.Q. That Hits Triple Digits?
U.S. Helps Turkey Hit Rebel Kurds in Iraq.
Nixon and Kissinger Fucked the Kurds; George Sr. and Scowcroft Fucked the Kurds; Clinton and Albright Fucked the Kurds; And Every Administration in Between.
U.S. Has Used Turkey to Thwart Kurdish Aspirations Since the Collapse of the Ottoman Empire.
By ANNALEE SCOTT TYSSUE & ROBBEM FREUMDE-REICH
December 18, 2007Bush: “Use of Steroids Has 'Sullied' Baseball. Use of Drugs Has Sullied Rock and Roll. Use of Lying and Violence Has Been Enormous Boon to Kleptocrats.”
Christian Rock Is Exception; Drugs Make Delusion Seem More Palatable.
By IMA STOOGEY
December 15, 2007Mocking the Planet.
Shill for the Environmental Entertainment Industry, Al Gore, Takes Center Stage at Dynamite Prize Ceremony.
By AOOGA THURMOUS & KEVLAR SPICEY
December 12, 2007The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life:
"Without enemies, the United States appears to be a nation without moral purpose and direction."--W.B.
By WILLIAM BLUM
December 11, 2007
www.killinghope.orgThe Tale of ‘Cookie,’ ‘Buzzy’ and Prince Smarmy.
Blackwater Contracts, Short on Detail, Long On Redacted Felonies.
By ROD O'HARROWING JR.
December 8, 2007Spurred by Vengeance, 'Bomb Lady' Develops More Lethal Weapons for U.S.
By LUNA BUMFUCK
December 1, 2007U.S. Intelligence Tells Cheney Administration "If You Invade Iran You Cocksuckers Are On Your Own."
N.I.E. Sees U.S. as “Rogue, Irrational Nation.”
By MARK OZORO
Dec. 3, 2007Dictatorship of the Rich Strikes a Blow!
USAID, Venezuelan Kleptocracy Prove There Is Still Only One Thing Money Can’t Buy, Deny Chavez Additional Authority.
Rallying Cry of the Anti-Chavez Forces--"Where Are My Fucking Soap Operas?"
By WAN DAYOYO
December 3, 2007Rove Admits Iraq Invasion Based on a “Shit Load of Lies”—Blames Congress, the American People for Rush to War.
Rove Distances Himself from Invasion; “I fix elections, out U.S. intelligence agents that threaten war policy I disagree with and other traitorous shit. But war? What the fuck do I know about waging war?”
“Remember. We don’t have a word for ‘lie’ in American."—Ari Fleischer.
Rove's Version of 2002 War Vote Is Disputed.
Musharraf Steps Down as Commander After Bush Goes Off Script and Tells Him No Leader Should Be Both President and Head of The Army.
By PETTY BARKER
December 1, 2007Perles That Are Swine: Lying Sacks of Shit That Denied Iraq War Was About Oil Party at Rogers’ Energy Trough As It Fills With Kurdish Sweet Crude.
Kurdish Ministers Drop Trou for U.S. Oil Firms.
Barzanis Are In Bed With Americans, So How Long Could It Be Before Uncle Slimey Fucks Them Again?
Kurdish Clan Claims Oil Revenue To Benefit All Iraqis; Three Headed Goat Born in Kirkuk.
Bush Tells Barzani “Fool me once,…. shame on you….. Fool me. You can’t get fooled again. I bet you fucking Kurds wish I was around instead of Nixon and Kissinger in 1973 or my old man and Scowcroft in ’89.”
Regional Bid Angers Iraqi Government; “The Fucking Barzani’s Are Trying To Steal Everything. Where’s My Taste,” Protests al-Maliki.
Chalabi Holds Up at Oil Ministry with a Contingent of Blackwater Mercs.
By SNUFFI MUFTI
November 28, 2007Piece Talks: Israel, U.S., Fatah Meet to Plot Who Gets What Piece.
Bush Inserted Into Middle East Piece Talks for Comic Relief.
Rice Feels Meeting With Palestinian Faction that Did Not Win Election Is a Good Way to Demonstrate U.S. Democratic Intentions in the Region.
By GLAM KEESTER & MUNCHIE ABUMMERWITZ
November 24, 2007Tax Exempt Statist: Pat Robertson Says “Giuliani Has a Nice Ass!"
While Endorsing Cross-Dressing Paranoid Ex-Mayor, Preacher Reveals Birth of Christ Was a Government Psy-ops Program.
By LIBELBY QASH
Nov.9, 2007Onward Christian Felons: How a Bet between Blackwater Snipers Led to the Murder of 3 Iraqi Guards.
Witnesses Call Shooting From Justice Ministry Unprovoked, But State Dept. Absolved Its Mercs Ex Cathedra.
Much Like Their Mercenary Efforts In Iraq, Blackwater Sets California Ablaze, FEMA Pays Them To Snuff Their Own Arson.
Inordinate Number of Blackwater Employees Appear on the National Registry of Child Molesters and Are Members of the Christian Coalition. Is There a Connection, Charles Colson?
By SNUFFY PHAROO
November 8, 2007The Anti-Empire Report
Read this or George W. Bush will be president the rest of your life
By WILLIAM BLUM
Cuba and Original Sin
November 6, 2007
www.killinghope.orgCuban Pawn among Eight Used by White House.
U.S.'s Geopolitical Tantrum Over Small Island Nation Continues.
Biscet’s Health Said to Be Better Than Leonard Peltier’s.
By NOODLES BOORSTOOGEY
November 6, 2007From the Dassk of Donald Rumsfeld . . .
In Sometimes-Brusque 'Snowflakes,' He Blew It Out His Chocolate Whizz Way, Shared Worldview, Shaped Policy.
By ROBBEM RIGHT
November 1, 2007As Elite’s Trough Dries Up, Venezuela Increasingly A Conduit For Cocaine.
Smugglers, CIA Exploit Disenfranchised Kleptocracy Seeking To Revitalize Old Drug Markets.
Cheney, Washington Post Unveil Another Canard With Which To Attack Chavez.
Large Cash Donations From Colombian and Venezuelan Kleptocracy Help Convince U.S. Congress Not To Legalize Drugs, Keep Pressure on Chavez.
By WAN DAYOYO
October 28, 2007Bob Thompson writes in his Washington Post Style piece “Arsenal of Words” for October, 29, 2007 that after viewing the TV movie “The Day After” about a nuclear exchange between the Soviets and the U.S Ronald Reagan’s “mood [e.g. shock] was reinforced, that autumn of 1983, by a real-world scare. The paranoid old despots in the Kremlin -- rattled by, among other things, Reagan's anti-Soviet rhetoric, the rapid rise in American military spending and an elaborate NATO military exercise they thought might be a cover for the real thing -- had come to the enormously dangerous conclusion that the United States was planning a nuclear first strike.”
One supposes that if Thompson started to receive threatening phone calls in the middle of the night from someone saying he was going to kill Bob and his family, followed by mail with photographs of a heavily armed man with more threats scrawled on the back; then the lunatic, after traveling half-way across the country or more say Wyoming or Hollywood or some other house of wackjobs, showed up and camped out in front of Bob’s home and along with some heavily armed buddies from Virginia began taking pot shots at all of the street lamps and pets and otherwise menacing the neighborhood, Bob might take umbrage at being characterized as a “paranoid old despot” needlessly "rattled", fearing for the safety of his family.
The Fog of War Profits.
Oil Markets Bullish On Strike On Iran!
Bullshit Canard of Iranian Threat Will Spike Oil Prices, Oil Profits!
Assassinated Press’s Prediction of $100.00 a Barrel Oil Just a Joint U.S./Israeli Bombing Run Away.
Price Hits Record Close; U.S. Tightens Sanctions “Hoping to Ignite World War III in the Middle East,” Bush Says. “Sanctions Are What Forced Japan Into World War II,” Paul Fussell Reminds.
By MALCOME EXXON & SNUFFY MUFFTI
October 26, 2007Cheney’s Advisers Tell Him ‘U.S. Must Invade Iran to Save Gays.’
“Finally a Rationale for War Worth Getting Behind,” Says Sean Penn.
“You Know My Daughter’s Gay,” Cheney Tells John Stewart.
IMA STOOGEY
10/22/07Letter to Rush Limbaugh.
After Her Daddy Was Killed In Iraq, A Young Girl Thanks Rush For His Scholarship Program.
10/20/07U.S. Orders Oil Proxies To Walk Away From Peace Talks In Sudan.
By MALCOME EXXON
October 12, 2007"The real trouble with modern warfare is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people."
Victory for Kleptocrats with Eye on Central America, Costa Rica.
Relatively Successful Central American Democracy Reluctantly Approves Free Trade with the United States after Threats, Rigged Referendum.
Costa Rica Disbanded Its Army in 1948 So That the U.S. Could Not Foment Coups Using Its Military.
Newest Round of Looting Central America Turns Illegal Immigration Into Mass Migration
“Fuck. Looks Like the Good Old Days Are Over When All Washington Did Was Violate Our Neutrality and Wage an Illegal Proxy War Against Nicaragua.”
By JEFFEY LUBE
10/9/07