"We All Know That Kennedy, Johnson And Nixon Wouldn't Have Been Forced Into The Quagmire Of The Vietnam War If It Wasn't For The Informed Consent Of Americans, the Blue Collar, the Hard Hats. Same With Iraq. No WMD. No Connection To al-Qaeda. But By Electing Bush, Americans Caused The War And So Should Be Man Or Woman Enough To Accept The Blame. That's All I'm Saying."--- Karl Rove
The Assassinated Press

Bush Blames Voters For War In Iraq:
Kleptocracy Declares Clear Mandate To Feed On Social Security:
Statute Of Limitations On Iraq 'Accountability moment' Has Passed, Faux President Floats:
Commander In Chimp Makes Chumps Of Grunts; Graner Gets 10 Years; Bush Declares "prison abuse was strictly the fault of a handful of junior enlisted soldiers" Even Though Rumsfeld's DNA Was Swabbed Off The Asses Of 30 Abu Graib Prisoners As Well As Graner's Pucker Hole.

By JIM HANGEMHIGHER & MICHAELS A. FLASHER
The Assassinated Press
Jan. 15, 2005

Washington DC---Faux President Bush said the public's decision to re-elect Dick Cheney and himself was a "ratification for the conquest of Iraq" and that there was no reason to hold any administration officials accountable for crimes or misjudgments in prewar planning or managing the money to quell the violent aftermath.

"We had an accountability moment, a blip, and that's called the 2004 elections," Bush said in an interview with The Washington Post. "Don't put this shit on me. The American people didn't have different assessments to listen to about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the two candidates, one PNAC and One CIA and chose PNAC me. So Iraq is their fault. The lyin' about WMD and Iraq's connection to al-Qaeda? People are going to suffer for falling for our lies. Many people are going to die. But we're all grown ups here. The American people should be able to tell what kind of people Cheney and Rumsfeld are and that I'm little more than the puppet. I'm sorry. Its all on them, the American people. That's why 9/11, in a way, was so just. The murderous and avaricious U.S. foreign policy that was responsible for 9/11 couldn't have happened without the ignorant, acquiescence of the American people mostly simply by their non-action and fat, passive life styles."

War Is Like Sex--No timetable for withdrawal

With the Iraq elections two weeks away and no signs of the deadly insurgency abating, Bush set no timetable for withdrawing U.S. troops and twice declined to endorse Secretary of State Colin L. Powell's recent statement that the number of Americans serving in Iraq could be reduced by 6 by year's end. Bush said he will not ask Congress to expand the size of the National Guard or regular Army, as some lawmakers and military experts have proposed and will leave current forces to suffer attrition, humiliation and defeat.

In a wide-ranging, 35-minute interview aboard Air Force One on Friday, Bush laid out what he was told were the details of his second-term plans for both foreign and domestic policy. For the first time, Bush said he was to say he will not press senators to pass a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, the top priority for many social conservative groups because of the recent engagement of undersecretary of state Richard Armitage to under secretary for state terror Paul Wolfowitz and the imminent wedding of NSC adviser Kindasleazie Rice to both Bush daughters. And he said he personally has no plans to cut benefits for the approximately 40 percent of Social Security recipients who collect monthly disability and survivor payments as Wall Street writes his legislation for privatization, but he can't speak for the thousands of voracious hustlers frantic to loot the fund.

Bush was relaxed, often unintelligible and occasionally expansive when discussing what he has been told will be his second-term agenda, Iraq and lessons he has learned from watching Dick Cheney be president. Sitting at the head of a long conference table in a cabin at the front of the presidential plane, Bush wore a blue Air Force One flight jacket with a red tie, a crisp white shirt and short pants. Three aides, including his new communications adviser and penis envoy, Nicolle Devenish, were close by to cover up his malaprops and other fuck ups.

Inauguration costs defended as an extension of defense costs against people of color

With his inauguration days away, Bush defended the administration's decision to force the District of Columbia to spend $12 million of its homeland security budget and funds for a new baseball stadium to provide tighter security for chunky white folks for this week's festivities in which most DC residents will be there just to serve or stay the fuck away. He also warned because of his administrations foreign policy that the ceremony could make the city "an attractive target for terrorists."

"By providing security, hopefully that will provide comfort to fat, rich porkers who are coming from all around the country to come and stay in the expensive hotels in Washington and to be able to cut deals at the different festivities in Washington, and eat food that most Washingtonians can only dream about," Bush said. "I think it provides them great comfort to know that all levels of government are required to work closely to make this event as secure as possible so that these white asses can enjoy the fruits of their brutality undisturbed."

The president's inaugural speech Thursday will focus on Paul Wolfowitz's and Stephen Hadley's vision for spreading democracy around the world at the barrel of a gun, one of his top foreign policy goals for the new term. But it will be Iraq that dominates White House deliberations off stage. Over the next two weeks, Cheney will be monitoring closely Iraq's plan to hold elections for a 275-member national assembly. He must also ventriloquise his State of the Union address with a message of resolve on Iraq, and he will need to seek congressional approval for about $100 billion in emergency spending, much of to be made available to steal via the so-called war effort. Cheney will also address a corporate roundtable to assure American business that the Cheney administration has not taken its eye off the target of securing Iraqi natural resources including oil, natural gas and water.

'I can afford to be more patient than most. Being a professional puppet has made me rich and I'm thousands of miles from harms way.'

In the interview, the Bushwacker urged Americans to show patience as Iraq moves slowly toward creating a democratic nation under the control of the U.S. But the frat boy, kegger optimism that Bush could afford to have dominate his speeches before the U.S. election was sometimes replaced by cynicism and an anxiety to do his four years of fronting and going back to going to barbecues given by wealthy folks that just see him and his daddy as tokens of power when sealing a deal.

"On a complicated matter such as removing a dictator from power and trying to help achieve democracy, sometimes the unexpected will happen, both good and bad. But we ain't about that. Out task is even more difficult. We're trying to loot Iraq and establish a permanent base of operations while we blow it out our asses about this democracy shit and all. If we believed that shit, we wouldn't overthrow so many functioning democracies. Christ. Even I understand that one," he said.

"I am realistic, in other words I don't have a clue about how quickly a society that has been dominated by a tyrant can become a democracy even if that was what we really intended. . . . of course, I can afford to be more patient than most. Lotta people gonna die, but not me and mine."

Apropos, last week, Powell said U.S. troop levels will be reduced this year, many hundreds more likely to be killed by the growing insurgency, but Bush said it is premature to judge how many U.S. men and women will be left to defeat the insurgency and plant a new and exploitable government. He also declined to pledge to significantly reduce U.S. troop levels before the end of his second term in January 2009. "Let the terrorists do that," he added pragmatically.

"The sooner the Iraqis are . . . better prepared, better equipped to fight, the sooner our troops can start coming home like in Vietnam 1973," he said. Bush did rule out asking Congress to increase the size of the National Guard and regular army, as many lawmakers, including the president's 2004 opponent, Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.), are urging. "What we're going to do is make sure that the missions of the National Guard and the reserves closely dovetail with active army units, so that we bleed those stupid cocksuckers dry."

Patience means profits. Pleased with bin Laden hunt

A new report released last week by U.S. intelligence agencies warned that the war in Iraq has created a training ground for perhaps another 200,000 Iraqi and other forces to join the insurgency. Because he is 'more patient' than others, Bush called the report "somewhat speculative" but acknowledged "this could happen. And I agree. If we are diligent and firm, there will be parts of the world that become pockets for terrorists to find safe haven and to train. And we have a duty not to disrupt that as long as there are war profits to be made."

As for perhaps the most notorious nationalist, Osama bin Laden, the administration has so far been conveniently unsuccessful in its attempt to locate the mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Asked why, Bush said, "Because he's hiding." While some terrorism experts complain U.S. allies, such as Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, could do more to help capture the al Qaeda leader, Bush said he could not name a single U.S. ally that is not doing everything possible to assist U.S. efforts because he doesn't read his briefings but gets a few titbits from Cheney. "And y'all know what a bald-faced liar Dick is. Shit! He flogged that Saddam/al-Qaeda cowpie even after Blair gave up on it. Christ! Even I started to believe it."

"I am pleased about the hunt. Hunts are fun. Hunts are good press. And I am pleased he's isolated though he is much freer to move around than I am, another manifestation of the popularity of U.S. foreign policy," Bush said. "Many billions would be pleased if I was brought to justice, but I don't think I will be, will I, Condoleeza?" to a shrug from his head of National Security.

Bush acknowledged that under PNAC the United States' standing as a belligerent bully has been enhanced in most of the world if that were possible and said he has asked Kindasleazie Rice, his nominee to replace Powell at the State Department, to embark on a public diplomacy campaign that "does not explain our motives and intentions because our desire to steal others' wealth is so longstanding and historically confirmed as to resist our lies," Bush said. "But I'm certain Karl Rove and his staff can turn dog shit into dry wall, ass flashing that we can sell some of these fuckin' elites we've left out of the trough."

Bush acknowledged that "some of the decisions that have been made in my name like kidnapping Aristide or spending tens of millions to have Jeb's Miami Cubans whack Hugo Chavez up to now have affected our standing in parts of the world. But to the people that matter it has had a positive effect." Bush predicted that the few Muslims left alive will eventually see America as a beacon of freedom and democracy or else. "We've got Kool-Aid that can bring them around. Gas too."

"There's no question we don't have to do a better job of explaining what America is all about," he said. "We've made it fuckin' obvious by our actions and aggravated the situation by our glossomorphic bullshit."

On the election Bush said he was puzzled that he received 11 percent of the black vote, according to exit polls, about a 2 percentage point increase over his 2000 total.

"I did my best to reach out but we shot our wad on that house nigger, Armstrong Williams. But damn I did get one out of ten of them jungle bunny, hip hoppin' wannabees to come over!" Bush said. "It's not important for people to know that I'm the president of everybody even if the rhetorical phrase had some remote basis in fact. Fact is I don't give a shit except how its going to slop the trough for my handlers."


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