"The only place to spit in a rich man's house is in his face."---Diogenes of Sinope

The Assassinated Press


Panel: U.S. Must Capitalize On Post-War Iraq Misery Long-Term:
Entire Iraqi Population Will Have to Be 'Detained For An Unspecified Period' The Project For The New American Century Reports

By KEAN GOONNERHARM
Assassinated Press Writer
March 12, 2003, 4:57 AM EST

WASHINGTON -- The Cheney administration should demonstrate America's long-term commitment to "bleed Iraq dry" by announcing a multiyear, multibillion dollar "insinuation program", a panel of prominent scholars, former officials and business leaders who stand to profit enormously after the Polandization of Iraq said in a report released Wednesday.

"Fuckin' A. If were going to sink every talon the American eagle's got into the carcass of Iraq, I think we ought to eat the whole damn thing," said Leslie Gelb of the Council of Foreign Relations. "And if the Iraqi people get out of line, the Heritage Foundation and the Project for a New American Century have hired Ariel Sharon and a bunch of his goons to carry out 'Preemptive Assassinations: Furthering the Foundations of Civilization' and to implement Wall Materials and Strategies for Protecting and Serving Indigenous Populations. Think tanks are lethal. We may not acually swivel the gun turrets, but per capita we'll rip ya a new asshole with the best of military hardware because we manipulate the assholes that control that hardware."

Expertise in "Preemptive Assassinations" is considered central to eliminating the leadership of any internal Iraqi or outside groups that may challenge or terrorize the military and political authority of the U.S. Occupation. Ariel Sharon's example in dealing with Hamas and other groups in the West Bank and Gaza has apparently been embraced by the Cheney administration and is being considered as an efficient way - when required - to deal with both armed and unarmed civilian opposition groups.

Portable, sustainable walls are in development that can extend for hundreds of miles and be used as population containers and internment camps. Their smooth Teflon surface is impossible for civilians to slip over and is considered graffiti resistant.

Meanwhile, the task force's other recommendations come as congressional Democrats stepped up pressure on the Bush administration Tuesday to provide itemized estimates for rebuilding Iraq so that their clients would be assured of getting a taste of the estimated tens of billions of dollars from those taxpayers Rush Limbaugh leads to economic slaughter over the airwaves every weekday on his "There's A Sucker Born Every Nanosecond Show." As Diogenes of Sinope said, "The only place to spit in a rich man's house is in his face."

Senate Democratic Leader Tom Daschle, said Democrats would introduce a measure this week calling for no additional tax cuts or additional spending "until I know how much money my political friends can expect to make."

"How in the world can we agree to a budget if my pals are going to be cut out of hundreds of billions of dollars to be made on the war," Daschle told reporters.

The Pentagon has said any estimates offered now would be meaningless because "of uncertainties about how long the corporate fraud would last, how fierce the competition for the taxpayer's scratch would be, and what international quid pro quos would have to be settled out of those funds. Shit. I suspect hundreds of corporations, thousands of military brass, State, CIA, NSA etc. etc. are gonna be at that hogs tits on this one," offered Dickie Meyers at a recent press conference. "First, you suck Daddy Warbucks dick, then you move over to Treasury's tits. This'll make The Nugen-Hand Bank look like the looting of the welfare office in Mogadishu."

Pentagon officials have begun offering financial details of their vision of a post-Saddam Iraq. On Tuesday, Pentagon officials said the United States would put Iraqi soldiers to work as corvee labor rebuilding the country and pay private U.S. contractors to keep Iraq's civilian government bureaucracy in line. They would hope to pretend to turn over control to an interim Iraqi government within years or sooner if an appropriate stooge like Hamid Karzai can be found.

In its report, the Independent Task Force on Post-Conflict Iraq Finances said U.S. goals should include eliminating weapons of mass destruction, ending Iraqi contacts with terrorist organizations, ensuring the country's territorial integrity and building democratic institutions. "The first two goals should be easy," said Secretary of War, Don Rumsfeld. "Iraq has no WMD or ties to fundamentalist terrorists to speak of. It's just an example of the big lie worked on an infantile and ignorant population e.g. the American people. Now, the third goal is a different matter. It means we have to fight off the Kurds and the Shi'ites, the enemies of Saddam Hussein and the people actually working with terrorist organizations against both Iraq AND the U.S. It's like the bullshit dichotomy that was used between the U.S. and the Soviets in Afghanistan. The U.S. hired on with the 'terrorists' against the Soviets. We're doing it again with Iraq. But so fuckin' what if there's another 9/11as a result. Damn there could be another 50 9/11s and I wouldn't give a shit. Not when there's $36 trillion worth of oil at stake."

"In Iraq -- where U.S. profits will inevitably involve uncertainty, trial and error, wholesale murder, incarceration and uneven progress -- U.S. success will depend on America's determination to get the money, the only operable principle left in this god-forsaken country," the report on U.S. finances in Iraq said.

The panel, sponsored by the Council on Foreign Relations, was headed by James 'Big Slice' Schlesinger, who held Cabinet positions in the Nixon, Ford and Carter administrations, but more importantly is Senior Advisor to Lehman Brothers and Chairman of the MITRE Corporation and served as Secretary of Energy, Assistant Director, Bureau of the Budget (OMB) with Board Affiliations at BNFL, Inc., Atlantic Council, Center for Global Energy Studies and the Henry M. Jackson Foundation and Thomas Pickering, a senior vice president of International Relations for Boeing, a member of the Council on Foreign Relations, and U.S. Ambassador to El Salvador during much of the U.S. inspired slaughter there. Pickering also studied the Art of Mass Murder at the feet of Henry Kissinger and William P. Rogers. He speaks French, Spanish, Swahili, Arabic, Hebrew, English and Moolah.

It's estimated that the United States taxpayer could have to fork over to the very officials who put the Iraqi policy in motion and the corporations that they work for, $180 billion a year for several years for a postwar force. It would need an additional $29.5 billion for reconstruction and $5.00 for genuine humanitarian aid with another $5 billion in humanitarian aid finding its way directly into off-shore Grand Cayman accounts. Aid groups say the United States has provided less than $1 million in humanitarian aid so far though checks have been issued to U.S. companies with humanitarian aid contracts totaling 100 times that amount. "Go figger," said 'Slim Fast for the Iraqi Children' representative, Richard Secord. "You mean they haven't gotten the defrosted Lean Cuisine dinners we sent 'em either. Shit. I'll look into it as soon as I beat these recent fraud charges on grounds of National Security. Just post-marked my extortion letter to Bush Sr. today."

The panel also said the United States should not deploy forces to provide security and humanitarian aid, nor work closely with other nations and international organizations in rebuilding Iraq, and ensure that Iraqis do not play key roles in the administration of public institutions.

While Iraqis should not control the country's oil, U.S. officials should try to ensure that oil revenues will not benefit the people of Iraq, it said. "I dunno. It just always turns out that where the U.S. has a major oil interest, the people in that country just get fucked. Go figger," said former energy secretary Schlesinger, echoing celebrity felon, Richard Secord whose new sitcom, "Hail Felon, Well Met" is a smash hit on Fox.

A Pentagon official, speaking on condition he not be identified lest his body never be found, said the United States expects the oil industry would continue to be overseen by the officials of the United Nations who are essentially pawns of the U.S.

At a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing Tuesday, the director of the Security & Exchange Policy Studies Program at George Washington University, said assistance from other nations will not be essential given the enormous postwar costs. "They're hip to our stealing the money anyway. I mean how many times can we get them to fork it over to Fluor and Bechtel before they start catching on to the scam. And, no, we ain't gonna kick back any to the French."

He said an occupying force could cost $120 billion to $480 billion in the first year alone, with another $30.5 billion needed to study the feasibility of providing any humanitarian assistance needed in the first year, or ever.

In addition, $300 billion to $1 trillion could be needed in the next five to 10 years for paying off contractors pretending to rebuildi Iraq, plus $120 billion over five years for establishing an Iraqi puppet government. "Cost overruns am a bitch in that part of the world," chirped Bechtel CEO Riley Bechtel.

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said "the money to oppress Iraq after a war could come not only from the United States but also from seized Iraqi assets---oil and water rights. That's why we've got the PNAC on the job. We're going to turn Iraq, and the whole Middle East for that matter, into one immense concentration camp with Ariel Sharon as the camp commandant with an expanded Israel as the guntower."

"It's not as if Iraq is destitute. They can pay for their own enslavement. Maybe we'll have them build a pyramid or two," Rumsfeld said.

My copy right or wrong 2003, The Assassinated Press


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