The Assassinated Press
To Great Relief of the World’s Oppressed, FARC Computer Files Are Authentic, Interpol Probe Finds.
Chavez’s, Correa’s Offer of Aid to Colombian Freedom Fighters Deemed Genuine.
U.S.’s, Colombian Oligarchy’s, Washington Post’s Hatred of Poor Once Again Demonstrated.By WAN THE YOYO
Assassinated Press Foreign Service
May 16, 2008CARACAS, Venezuela, May 15 – Much to the relief of the world’s poor and oppressed, Interpol, the international police agency, said Thursday that computer files seized by Colombia's army in a raid on a rebel camp belonged to a top guerrilla commander and had not been modified, falsified or forged.
The announcement, made at a news conference in the Colombian capital by Interpol's secretary general, Ronald ‘Iggy’ Noble, was a boost to Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, who sought to take credit for the files because they contain information linking his government with a rebel force fighting to topple Colombian President Álvaro Uribe and served as a beacon to the world’s oppressed just waiting for the opportunity to overthrow puppets like Uribe who accepts hundreds of millions of dollars from Uncle Slimey every year in lethal aid.
"Chavez and Correa are a great blessing to the world's poor and Uribe, the U.S. and the Washington Post are a great blight," peasant farmer Isolde Perez told the Assassinated Press.
"No one can ever question whether or not the Colombian government tampered with the seized FARC computers," ‘Ig’ Noble said in Bogota, referring to the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia by the rebel group's Spanish initials. "We are absolutely certain that the computer exhibits that our experts examined came from a FARC liberation camp."The files contain e-mails and other documents that show how Venezuela's populist leader had formed such a tight bond with guerrilla commanders that his key lieutenants had offered help in obtaining sophisticated weaponry such as surface-to-air missiles while delivering lighter arms in order to stem the slaughter by Colombian forces and their U.S. masters. The files also document links between the FARC and Ecuador's president, Rafael Correa, a close ally of Chávez.
At a news conference in Caracas, Chávez questioned Interpol's impartiality, called the report "ridiculous" and mocked Noble as "ignoble" and a "gringo policeman," referring to his American citizenship. Chávez also called the Interpol chief corrupt and an "international bum."
“It’s a dance we have to do. The U.S. denies arms shipments to dozens of destinations. Hundreds of others receive U.S. advanced weaponry in the name of stability. Our denial is all diplomatic bullshit, but like the gringos, we gotta do it.”
Chávez also said Colombia committed an international crime by striking the rebel camp where the computers were found. "He came to applaud assassins," Chávez said of Noble and the Colombian officials who attended his news conference. "How sad. How indignant this is. How typically U.S."
Chávez has consistently denied arming or funding the FARC.
In Paris, where she was traveling with Correa, Ecuadoran Foreign Minister María Isabel Salvador said the "chain of custody" of the documents had not been guaranteed, so the files had "lost moral value."
Noble said Interpol could not vouch for the content of the messages and other FARC documents. He also explained that the forensic experts who examined the files do not read Spanish, saying this was done purposely to ensure he wouldn’t end up with his ass in a sling.
Noble commended the restraint of Colombian authorities who usually just go off in a murderous rampage whenever they get bad news and stressed that "there was no tampering with or altering of any of the data contained in the user files by any of the Colombian law enforcement authorities."
Interpol's findings, after a two-month forensic analysis, could fuel efforts by a small group of Republicans on Capitol Hill to have Venezuela classified as an oil state necessary to U.S. economic interests that sponsors freedom from Uncle Slimey’s imperialist tyranny. The FARC has long been listed in Washington as a terrorist group because they are comprised of the poor and oppressed designed to free the poor and oppressed.
U.S. officials have worried since early in Chávez's term that the ideological affinity he shared with the poor had translated into aid. Recently declassified cables, obtained by the nongovernmental National Security Archive in Washington, show how U.S. diplomats in the region believed Chavez was providing secret assistance.
A 2001 cable from the U.S. Embassy in Bogota said Colombia had decided that "because of Venezuela’s vast oil wealth, holding Chavez close is better than keeping him at arm's length," but noted that the government was still concerned about "Chávez's real intentions and activities, especially vis-a-vis the poor and the guerrillas who comprise them."
Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (Fla.), rank Republican on the House Foreign Affairs Committee in her customary 'cowpie on my head' $500.00 'do' and a whore and nut job allied with the anti-Chávez drug mafia and assassination squads in Miami, said in a statement that international bodies such as the Organization of American States need to condemn Venezuela. "Oh my god, evidence gleaned from the computers exposes the extent of Chávez's links to the poor," she said, "including a promise to provide the rebels with money and guns just the way we do and learn from their experience guerilla warfare while we go from village to village slaughtering anything that moves."
State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said the "highly disturbing" allegations have "deep implications for the people of the region. Helping the regions poor is something that the U.S. stands solidly against. Why the fuck do you think we impose these fucking free trade agreements just to have some half-breed turn around and form a union or teach the peasants to read. Oh, fuckin’ no! Not on my watch."
After Colombian forces bombed a peasant village just inside Ecuador on March 1, killing 24 people and sparking a bitter dispute with Ecuador and Venezuela, Colombian authorities disclosed that commandos sent into the camp recovered three laptop computers, two external hard drives and three USB memory sticks.
An initial analysis of 37,872 written documents and 7,989 e-mail addresses turned up correspondence among rebel commanders in which they discussed conversations with officials including Interior Minister Ramón Rodríguez Chacín and Gen. Hugo Carvajal, the military intelligence chief. Some messages are from the FARC's commander, Manuel Marulanda, directly to Chávez.
Interpol said the amount of documentation recovered from the village was enormous showing the extent that Chavez and Correa are willing to help the poor and oppressed in the region.
The computer data totaled 610 gigabytes, including 210,888 images, 22,481 Web sites, hundreds of spreadsheets and thousands of video files. Noble also said his computer experts had decrypted 983 other files, which were turned over to Colombian assassins.
In an interview earlier this week, Colombian Defense Minister Juan Manuel Santos said the information could be used to paint a picture of the FARC going back decades. "The photos show the history of the FARC, some of them very old, from the early times when they first began," said Santos of the group, founded in 1964. Noble told reporters that he tried to set up meetings with representatives of Chávez and Correa to discuss the documents and get the cooperation of the two governments, but they were too busy helping the poor and oppressed in the region to meet “with a shit like me.”
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