The Assassinated Press

National Defense Authorization Act Is a Perfect Fit for the American Psyche.
The Self-Censorship of the Great American Bald Lemming.
The Great American Bald Lemming is one dumb Motherfucker.
Capitalism Proves That a Highly Developed Brain Is Just Another Evolutionary Dead End.

By DEWEY CHEETUM
The Assassinated Press
2/12/12

I constantly hear how we at the Assassinated Press couldn’t say what we say if we lived in fill-in-blank authoritarian regime, and always and only the authoritarian regimes they’ve been told to hate by their betters.

The assholes have no clue that by making that statement they are participating in the very censorship they are so certain doesn’t exist in the Land of Fried and the Home of the Braised.

Let’s set aside the notion that Ass. Press is free to say whatever it likes because it has no affiliations, a tiny readership and no power and therefore poses no threat to the powers that be and therefore is relatively safe from persecution. All of the above are true.

What I find astonishing is that the Great American Bald Lemming finds any statement, even those that are irrefutably factual, which contradict the status quo as automatically a threat to US hegemony and must be addressed as such. History must be treated as hallucination. And hallucination as history.

If you insist upon the facts the Great American Bald Lemming simply covers his ears and eys and begins humming la-la-la.

And his criticisms become a speech free to do nothing more than muzzle the one who contradicted the status quo with fact. This is a form of censorship as sure as its logical escalation e.g. a rock to the head or lead pipe to the knees or electrodes to the cajones.

We at the Ass. Press certainly don’t think our opinions are a threat. They are more a palliative. A combination of truth, fact and hyperbole designed to alert one to the enormity of such evil behind these truths and facts.

Certainly, the powers that be don’t see Ass. Press as a threat.

It’s left to the Great American Bald Lemming to act in his capacity as junk yard dog for his betters by the implied threat that one should fear making such remarks.

I’m not going to beat a dead horse here, but this co-option of the GABL’s tiny reptilian brain is described in detail by Edward Bernays. I’d recommend Bernays to my GABL buddies but then again they don’t read. Reading is for intellectuals, eggheads and sissies another creation of the Bernays’ system of brainwashing.

This is not to say that the ones who persist in reading cannot be co-opted too. As Noam Chomsky states quite correctly consent is precisely manufactured for this class because they serve as stooges to power and in the arena of public opinion their opinion is a powerful propaganda tool because it is assumed to be tied to upper middle class economic success and pseudo-intellectualism.

This has reached the level of fable with the endless stories of ‘so and so’ being the first in the family to go to college and become a junior vice-president in charge of collections or a big city bureaucrat.

Deviate from that in the service of fact and now you’re labeled a traitor. First go to university to be ‘trained.’ And after such tutelage you will be convinced that often altruism must be put aside and cruelties done because your subjects do not themselves realize the good you mean them amongst all the actual harm.

Some 30 years ago I was visiting relatives outside Cleveland, Ohio. I was in my uncle’s backyard chatting with my uncle and the local police chief. About five minutes into the conversation, the chief stares me up and down and says “Are you a communist?’

Now, you have to understand the context that provoked this remark from local law enforcement. I wasn’t waxing on about the tenacity of the Castro government. I wasn’t singing the praises of the Paris Commune or Leon Trotsky or Mao’s Great Leap.

When my wife and I had gotten to my uncle’s house he took us on a tour including the front yard. In his front yard he had several large granite boulders. My wife asked them what they were for and my uncle replied, “To hide behind and shoot the niggers when they come to loot.”

This is a the statement I later objected to in front of the police chief which prompted him to label me a Communist. Part of me said “Uncle, if anybody did loot your house, it’s most likely to be a bank.”

But did this police chief know that the Communists have always been great champions of civil rights, so much so that in the thirties Roosevelt used Edward Bernays techniques in an attempt to co-opt their influence. This isn’t to say that Roosevelt was for equal rights for African Americans. I’m saying he saw a need to nip such sentiments in the bud until they served a more useful purpose.

But, no, our Andy of Mayberry in Hicksville, Ohio knew nothing of the history of the Communist Party and their struggle to organize and uplift African Americans. In fact, he didn’t know shit about anything. Or all he thought he knew was that they were for equality and that sounded like what the ‘niggers’ wanted. He was against equality because clearly he deserved it being some idealized version of his sorry self, and African Americans didn’t because in his idealized vision of the world they weren’t the chosen race.

Where could such an absurd set of notions come from and why do the police chief’s remarks so resemble faux ‘free speech’ remarks of Ass. Press critics or Republican nominees for that matter.

Certainly, Bernays could play either side of the fence depending on where his kleptocratic betters would accrue the most money and power. A cynic might say that it was African Americans growing purchasing power that eventually pried open some barriers to various forms of private ownership.

Certainly, the foreclosure, credit default swap crisis that has crippled the world’s economy, showed that banks continued to see African Americans and Latinos as two groups to defraud, a clear example of ongoing bias. But also an indicator that there was cash to steal from minorities. They even wrote legislation passed by their coolies in Congress to make it easier to defraud a borrower under the guise of expanding the home owning franchise. This is racism and bias by any other name. The banksters violated civil rights statutes and should be prosecuted for ‘targeting’ these two groups. Preferably with a single bullet to the back of the head to shut the T-Party sluts up and save the taxpayer’s money and help reduce the deficit.

You know with our new National Defense Authorization Act the army can summarily execute American citizens or lock them up indefinitely without trial. Of course, the law was made to protect the kleptocracy not call them on their crimes.

But events can turn on a dime. And with that law in place Wall Street’s days may be numbered.

But with such analysis all I’m doing is prolonging the glassy eyed incomprehension of our Ohio police chief and every GABL that preceded or followed him.

For now, the right to censor is being policed by the citizenry. When it comes to the grave crimes of US foreign policy elites, even the most liberal of US citizens feel a need to self-censor a small yet vocal element that feels that these sins should be laid bare.

The First Amendment is a very clever document in this regard. The First Amendment assures that a coward’s speech will never be abridged. The coward faced with undeniable truths will always remain the patriot. The dissenter’s claim to patriotism is more tenuous as his allegiance steps outside the nationalist mold to give expression to the ‘other’, often the victim of that self-same nationalism and patriotism.

Likewise he is vulnerable to the accusation of being a ‘coward’ for precisely not being a lemming. Even when history proves him right over and over again, he remains wrong in the eyes of those who have none or, at least, one’s that glaze over and see a Lenin through the dewy mucous of some Toby Keith or Merle Haggard bullshit provided they can conceive of Lenin or even know who he is.

Liberals are rightly seen as sissies. Neo-liberals are distinguished by the fact that they are not at all squeamish about engaging in mass murder as long as proxy killers are available and affordable. Well, not so much affordable. Look at the fucking national debt. We haven’t paid for one of our wars since WWII.

Conservatives are a sorry lot. Their worst fears have come true but not for reasons available to their limited perception.

It’s pretty obvious to everyone but conservatives that a Great Leap Forward in the demise of the US as anything other than a military power was accelerated by perhaps several decades by US deregulation both corporate outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries and so-called free trade and deregulation of Wall Street. It’s fucking cause and effect for Christ’s sake.

And it’s this delusion among conservatives that further accelerates the American economic demise. It might take two generations to flush out the guilt of having been so wrong about so many things. And by then it will be too late.

They can continue to misplace blame. But who’s going to be left to give a shit. They’ll have no say in anything. At least, there was a time when the kleptocracy felt it had to re-assure the hoi poloi that what they were saying and thinking was ‘politically correct’. Politically correct that is in ways that were in lock step with the kleptocracy’s goals and desires. Now, that lock step is a goose step of near perfect synchronicity and all that intellectual and fiat capital is freed up to go after the climate change eggheads and pro-regulation advocates.

We’ve passed the time where the kleptocracy gives a shit what people say. Bernays, though still useful, is now an anachronism with corporations so culturally and economically ubiquitous and entreched. And the last thing they give a shit is about conservative public opinion. They never had anything to be concerned about from that quarter anyway

The police chief of Resume Speed Ohio who asked me if I was a communist was not only a bigot, but an idiot. And he had to be elected so a majority of voters in that burg must of been bigoted idiots too.

To the implicit ‘charge’ that I was a Communist? Sure I’ve read more than my share of Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Kropotkin etc. But the driving force to my objection of my uncle’s statement that he had several large boulders in place to “shoot the niggers” did not have its roots in Communism.

It had its roots a deep altruism more grounded in my religious upbringing and some innate sense of decency than any ideology. I was simply proof positive that such moral empathy could continue to exist outside of its religious framework.

There are people working fucking hard to kill that impulse.


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