The Assassinated Press

Wall Street Throws Down the Gauntlet: It’s Either Kill or Be Killed by Them.
Wall Street, the Banks and Corporations Challenge “250,000,000 Lazy Americans” to a Duel to the Death.
“They’re Like the Undead. Wall Street Zombies Won’t Stop Trying to Suck You Dry Until You Chop Off Their Heads. The French Knew From Whence They Acted.”

By JACK DAWSON
Special to the Assassinated Press
5/4/09

Working a double shift, I was recently injured in an industrial accident when I got my left hand caught between two 2400lb. metal castings. I lost three fingers and the tip of my index finger. The shop wasn’t union and now I’m saddled with enormous hospital bills and few employment prospects when I finally do heal. My wife has found a second job working nights at envelope processing plant and my oldest son has dropped out of high school to work to help support the family.

But I’m not writing this to whine. While laid up at home, I’ve had plenty of time to watch the collapse of the world economy. And today I do believe I heard it all. I heard shit even worse than that worthless fucker, Rick Santelli.

Today, on CNBC I heard a fucking suit—sorry I didn’t catch the motherfuckers name—say that he and his kind were the only ones laboring in the economy while “250,000,000 Americans did nothing more than lie on their couch and eat and sleep.”

‘250,000,000 Americans!’ That shitbag is calling literally the entire adult population and more of the U.S. lazy and shiftless staying in bed all day while he goes out and loots or otherwise fucks up the economy or whatever it is he does. '250,000,000 lazy' fucking Americans according to this Wall Street douche bag--a number no doubt that he pulled out of his ass. But for sake of argumant let's follow the ignoramus' ass-stinkts and noodle around with his premise of '250,000,000' dumb, beast of burden, lazy ass, good-for-nothing Americans like you and me.

Not only are these Wall Street, Corporate and banker types unrepentant for their fuck ups much less their crimes, in a fit of asshole amnesia, which is where you stick your head up your ass and can’t find your way out, they seem to forget that they are the ones who brought us ‘250,000,000 Americans’ to the brink of financial disaster with millions already plunging into the abyss. Balls hardly begins to cover this asshole’s remarks or those of his confederates.

And I began to ruminate about that. Why do these banking and corporate shits feel safe and secure in not only not owning up to their own lies and fuck ups, but feel perfectly entitled to blame everyone but themselves including the ‘250,000,000 hard working Americans.’ I know it sounds the way your four year old behaves but these are grown, primarily white, men.

I’ve got a neighbor, who has lost several jobs because of union organizing and he finally convinced me to read some books about Vladimir Lenin. I’m no communist but I said ‘okay what the fuck.’ I don’t know about communism and collectivism as well as what he calls anarcho-syndicalism but I believe him when he says you could never have communism here in America much less true socialism because they require structure and decades long development.

But I have taken one lesson away from Lenin, and Mao and Castro for that matter—Wall Street, Bankers and Corporate types are not going to stop screwing with you until us ‘250,000,000 lazy Americans’ are prepared to make an example of some of them. Its easy to see that they will not stop fucking with us, they will not stop blaming hard working people for their shortcomings and even their crimes until working people caution them to shut the fuck up by killing a bunch of them. The comics joke. Bill Maher says kill two. Louis Black says he now understands the motivation behind the Jacobins and the French Revolution. But after hearing that twat on CNBC, its clear, the time for joking is over.

Of course, we don’t have an adequate ‘structure’ for us ‘250,000,000 lazy Americans’ to make our case via violence and, therefore make our case stick. The authorities and courts will suppress us. The media will distort our anger and need. And the courts will deter us by killing a few of us quietly, long and drawn out like, through the system. At best, it may be a harbinger like John Brown.

But Wall Street, the Bankers and the corporations have come within a hair’s breath of setting up a ‘kill or be killed’ scenario between the ‘250,000,000 hard working American people’ in this country and the kleptocracy that fucks with them and then discards them like a used condom.

It’s a damned cliché---public education has been scuttled by private corporations which in turn creates a class of individuals all coming out of the ‘250,000,000 lazy Americans’ who like cattle are raised for slaughter in the military either as victim or killing tool.

Right after my boy dropped out of school, recruiters started calling him at home and at his job. They even came to his job. They offered him a signing bonus, making it sound like he was some kind of fucking professional athlete, not the wetware for a professional killer.

He wants to help out his family but I dragged my ass down to the recruitment center and, waving my stump, told them over my dead body will he be blackmailed or extorted into joining the military. Literally, over my dead body. And I told those “motherfucking, pussy assed” recruiters that right now they were nothing more than whores for the kleptocracy. But of course, being victims of an inadequate school system the dumb fucks didn’t even know what the fuck I was talking about.

You might say this recent Wall Street/Corporate heist has radicalized me, but you’d be wrong. I just want what’s mine and I resent some shitbag in a suit on CNBC telling me that me and mine are lazy after the shit we’ve been through and the years of back breaking work my wife and I have put in. And you should resent it too. I hope the morons on Wall Street and in the boardrooms underestimate how deep that resentment runs. I hope that us ‘250,000,000 lazy Americans’ show the character and intelligence to focus on who really is fucking us over. And I hope to be shoulder to shoulder when we drag a few of these major Wall Street criminals out into the gutter and bring them to justice.

Otherwise the suit on CNBC is right. Americans are lazy cowards. They allow themselves to be used and abused by a few thousands super-wealthy thieves and murderers. The wealthy think nothing of killing you and then telling everyone who loves you that it was your free choice to die at their hand. Or that you were born to put wealth into their hands because you are little more than dumb, lazy beasts bred to serve them and die for them.


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