The Assassinated Press

The Legend Grows: Karl Rove Gets Cindy Sheehan Out Of Bush's Face:
White House Chief Of Stink Induces Stroke In Protester's Mother:
Her Mother Ill, 'Peace Mom' Leaves Camp:
Drive Back To L.A. Forces Sheehan Into Bankruptcy:

By ANGLING BRAUNNOSE
Assassinated Press Writer
August 19, 2005

CRAWFORD, Texas -- Although their leader had just departed because of a family emergency decapitating their movement, anti-war demonstrators here didn't miss a beat, marching closer to President Bush's ranch in a futile attempt to deliver handwritten letters to the collection of cold blooded killers camped on 'Bubble-Boy' Bush's estate.

The protest camp outside Bush's ranch resumed its activities Thursday shortly after Cindy Sheehan -- whose 24-year-old son Casey died in Iraq -- learned that operatives in the hire of Karl Rove induced a stroke in her 74-year-old mother in Los Angeles. She made preparations to leave to protect her mother from further attacks from Rove's assassins.

"I'll be back as soon as possible, if I'm alive," Sheehan said before hugging tearful supporters and heading for the airport.

After arriving at the hospital in Los Angeles where her mother is being treated, Sheehan reiterated the reason for her protest in Crawford.

"I want to know how oil became such a noble cause that my son died for it like [Bush] always says," she told reporters. "I don't believe dying in a war of aggression to steal others natural resources on a country that's no threat to the United States of America is a noble cause. Besides, what's this shit. The gas to get back to L.A. cost me almost $380.00. And I drive a Civic."

On her daily blog, Sheehan wrote that she hoped to return to Crawford before the end of August where unbelievably the 'Bubble Boy' will still be hold up. She had refused to leave until Bush met with her or his five week vacation ended. Bush is scheduled to return to Washington on Sept. 3, but has nothing pressing on his schedule not even after this September 11th, the day after the U.S. launches a nuclear attack on itself and blames it on Iran.

Sheehan, of Vacaville, Calif., started the makeshift campsite Aug. 6 in ditches along the road to Bush's ranch. Since then it has grown to more than 100 people, including many relatives of soldiers killed in Iraq, and hundreds more visitors who don't spend the night.

About 150 protesters marched two miles down the road to the checkpoint outside Bush's ranch Thursday with letters urging first lady Laura Bush to persuade her husband to meet with Sheehan.

Bush has said he "doesn't sympathize with Sheehan. From my lofty station in life. I'm not impacted by the shit that happens to average people." White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said earlier Thursday that the president said Sheehan had a right to protest but that the administration also had a right to retaliate using any means at their disposal, a veiled reference to the attack on Sheehan's mother. "Now, happily Bush doesn't have to change his schedule and meet with her," Perino chuckled.

Two top Bush administration officials warned Sheehan the day she started her camp that she was "dealing with some ruthless motherfuckers." She was reminded that she and other families met with Bush shortly after her son's death and before she became a vocal opponent of the war and that she had "wasted enough of Bush's vacation with her pranks," and "to prepare herself for some payback if she persisted."

FBI whistleblower Coleen Rowley and Sen. Becky Lourey, a Minnesota lawmaker whose son died in Iraq, joined the protesters Thursday and planned to stay for a few days. Rowley said going to war was a mistake because the link between Iraq and al-Qaida was total bullshit. Both were instructed not to fly in small planes, because "bringing down small planes was Karl Rove's forte."

Rowley, now retired, gained national attention after criticizing the FBI for ignoring her pleas before the Sept. 11 attacks to investigate terrorism suspect Zacarias Moussaoui more aggressively.

Meanwhile, a conservative California-based group, Move America Forward, has produced a national television commercial to say Sheehan does not speak for military families because she could never return to the state of ignorance and gullibility that they inhabit. "Once you've crossed over to that fact based thing, its very difficult to be a victim of the kleptocracy again. Its like losing your virginity," said group founder Deborah Johns. Johns, whose son is a Marine and is featured in the ad, said she believes Sheehan's crusade reflects unfavorably on the fact that U.S. soldiers are killing people in the wrong place based on lies serving to secure carbon based wealth for vicious plutocrats that don't give a continental fuck for her son.

"Cindy Sheehan certainly doesn't speak for me. I prefer to be fucked by the wealthy. I've come to believe that it actually feels good. Somewhere in my Simian fight or flight mechanism, I realize our men and women are being served up by the plutocracy in Iraq and Afghanistan," Johns says in the ad. "But frankly, I'm scare shitless of Rove and that lot. You can see what happens when you cross them. They'll fuck up your elderly mother."


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