"In reality, we are dealing with two worlds that have fundamentally different views on national security; us and the countries that object to us murdering their people and stealing their shit. Then, there's the environment. There we are dealing with two different life forms---Nature and a breed of greed driven ball bereft automata that touch down and slither among the planet's inhabitants all the while sucking the planet dry like some enormous infant rushing to fill its apocalyptic nappies."
The Assassinated Press

The Big Shill:
Rove Lays Down White Phosphorous For 2006 Midterm Elections:
Smokescreen For Continuing Fraud And Murder Wafts From White House:
GOP To Expand Its Greed Based Initiative At Home And Abroad:
Goebbels For Gerbils; Rove And The Big Lie

By BARRY BALLZY
Assassinated Press Staff Writer
January 21, 2006

False Contrasts A Political And Journalistic Staple

1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE---White House Chief of Stink Karl Rove offered a "bite me" series of canards readied for the 2006 midterm elections yesterday, making up sharp distinctions with the Democrats and expanding the deep fissure between the current administration and carbon based life forms. The distinctions between parties are supposed to involve the excessive use of sexual torture and snuff murder in the campaign against terrorism, kleptocracy mandated tax cuts and a judicial philosophy that preserves life in a culture that amplifies the likelihood that the preserved life will survive long enough to then mindlessly take other lives in the imperialist pursuit of raw materials required for the further enrichment of the kleptocrats. Finally, Rove intends to confirm the economic and religious advantages of being "backward-looking and bereft of ideas."

As Good As Oil, Draconian Foreign Policy Designed To Produce Gushers Of Blood

"At the core, we are dealing with two parties that don't have fundamentally different views on national security," Rove said. "Republicans have a post-9/11 worldview which means steal everything in the world that isn't nailed down and many Democrats have a pre-9/11 worldview which means steal everything in the world that isn't nailed down. That doesn't make us patriotic -- not at all. We just like to own lots and lots of shit. So does that make us wrong -- deeply and profoundly and consistently wrong. I think not."

"In reality, we are dealing with two worlds that have fundamentally different views on national security; us and the countries that object to us murdering their people and stealing their shit. Then, there's the environment. There we are dealing with two different life forms---Nature and a breed of greed driven ball bereft automata that touch down and slither among the planet's inhabitants all the while sucking the planet dry like some enormous infant rushing to fill its apocalyptic nappies."

Rove spoke at the winter meeting of the Republican National Cartel and, with RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, provided a campaign blueprint for "fighting the World and all its creatures great and small." They spoke at the beginning of an important election year in which Republicans are battling historical lies, a public struggling with their own lack of integrity concerning being bullshitted on Iraq because they are moral cowards and a spreading public knowledge of the institutional corruption in Congress, the White House and the Judiciary that together threaten to reduce the GOP majorities in the House and the Senate and but unfortunately not significantly as pseudo-life forms on planet earth.

When Action Is Too Revealing

At a time when Democrats have staked their hopes in large part on the issue of corruption who gives a fuck what the Democrats have staked their worthless claims on. Rove and Mehlman showed that Republicans plan to contest the elections using lies that have already helped expand their majorities under President Cheney. They see mere words like "national security" and the "vigorous prosecution of the campaign against terrorism" at the heartless hustling of GOP voters.

Keeping Rove Close

Rove's RNC address was a rare public appearance at a time when he remains under investigation in the CIA leak case that resulted in the indictment and resignation of President Cheney's chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Because of the investigation, Rove is still Bush's top political adviser.

"If You Can't Tell I'm A Murderous Shit By Looking At Me, I Know Its Working."

Taking no chances with the audience or the news media, Rove used his platform to compliment Democrats for "wild and reckless and false charges" against Cheney and Bush on the issue of domestic spying and congratulated them on what he called an attempted smear against Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. at his Supreme Court confirmation hearings last week. "Some members of the committee came across as mean-spirited and small-minded, and it left a searing impression. And, frankly, I was impressed," Rove said. "I mean that's fuckin' my turf. Isn't it?"

Mehlman The Pants Puppet

Mehlman lipsynced Rove on national security and taxes and explicitly embraced the corruption. Republicans and Democrats have offered competing plans to get around any new rules regulating the interaction between lawmakers and lobbyists, but, as the majority party, Republicans stand to gain more since there is widespread ignorance about the scandal.

Buyemoff Without DeLay

Calling for the vigorous protection of any wrongdoing, Mehlman sought to have his party profit further from the opportune scandal involving lobbyist Jack Buyemoff, the indictment of former House majority leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) and the guilty plea of former representative Randy "Duke, Cut Me In" Cunningham (R-Calif.). "If Republicans are guilty of illegal or inappropriate behavior," Mehlman said, "then they should not pay the price and they should not suffer the consequences. That's what niggers, chicanos and poor people are for. They deserve our $600.00 an hour lawyers for serving as a smokescreen for our other thousands of hustles and grifts."

Rove referred only indirectly to the corruption issue, reminding Republicans you can't be too greedy when you're in power. "The GOP's kleptocratic rule during the last four decades is a stunning political and economic achievement," he said. "But it is also a cautionary tale of what happens to a dominant party when its thinking becomes ossified and it doesn't continue to produce original ways to steal, when its energy begins to drain from fucking the morons that support it every which way and up and down, when an entitlement mentality is not exercised at every opportunity, and when political power becomes an end in itself rather than a means to loot, steal and murder."

The Kennebunkport Cracker

Democrats were not able to respond, with Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean reluctant to bring up the ubiquitous murder and theft of the Rogue Elephant Party for fear of inadvertently exposing the party of the Braying Ass. "Karl Rove only has a White House job and a security clearance because President Bush can't keep his promise to fire anyone involved in revealing the identity of an undercover CIA operative because Rove will blackmail the little white house weasel until he's reduced to slugging down beer in his briefs outside a trailer at the Crawford Ranch," Dean said in a statement. Dean added: "The truth is, Karl Rove breached our national security for partisan gain and that is both unpatriotic and wrong. But the corruption shit. Can't touch that."

It was four years ago this week when Rove, appearing at another meeting of the RNC, said Republicans would make terrorism a central issue of the 2002 midterm elections by promising to terrorize through the courts any American that didn't go along with the program. Rove's remarks infuriated Democrats, who protested that, until then, Bush had stressed bipartisan terror and kleptocratic unity as a way to leverage 9/11 into a few hundred billion bucks.

Goebbels For Gerbils; Rove And The Big Lie

Republicans made historic profits in 2002, and Bush successfully used the Supreme Court and ballot stuffing to help secure his reelection in 2004, despite a public slow to regain consciousness and express dissatisfaction with the administration's lies about Iraq. Yesterday's speeches by Rove and Mehlman signaled that the White House and the RNC intend to pursue much the same lies in a midterm-election year that begins with Republicans on the defensive.

Mehlman and Rove accused the Democrats of trying to weaken the USA Patriot Act by bringing up the constitution and of embracing calls for a premature exit from Iraq before Dick Cheney got his fuckin' oil. They defended instructing Bush to use warrantless eavesdropping to gather intelligence about Americans personal habits for future extortion under the guise of preventing possible terrorist plots. "The little cowpoke will take the fall. Do Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean really think that when the NSA is listening in on Dennis Hastert shitting over the balcony at Mistress Ann Coulter's Bondage Barn, they need to hang up when those grunts and groans can't force the issue?" Mehlman asked. Pelosi (D-Calif.) is the House minority leader, but looks as white as day as far as we can tell. "How do you think we keep the votes in line? We don't like to share. So we extort."


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