The Assassinated Press


Wolfowitz To Decide On Post-Aggression Government in Iraq:
Cheney Insists Iraq Be Ratified As 51st State:
Johnson & Johnson Announces Sales Of Petroleum Jelly To Congress Hit All-Time High

By PUERILA ADOLLESCENTE
The Assassinated Press

A fist fight has broken out at a senior level within the Cheney administration over the makeup of the new government that the US is secretly planning in Kuwait to rule Iraq in the aftermath of the decapitation and dismemberment of Saddam Hussein and his sons.

Corporate front man George W. Bush favors Elliott Abrams, the apparatchik who controlled the Contra death squads during the US takeover of the Nicaraguan government, while de facto President Dick Cheney favors Paul Wolfowitz, the current Deputy Defense Secretary in charge of the Mittlere Osten Einsatzgruppen. Wolfowitz appears to have the upper hand.

Abrams, backed by FEMA and the Mossad, favors the installation of Albert Hakim as the new Iraqi Czar, while the Cheney faction, backed by Tony Blair and the CIA, is pressing for Jay Garner to serve as the Amerikanisch Richsführer presiding over a United States of Iraq, a division of 52 corporate jurisdictions, whose boundaries will be drawn by illegitimate descendants of Lord Louis Mountbatten.

Under both scenarios, US forces will take over Iraq city by city. Areas declared "liberated" by General Tommy Franks will be transferred to the government under the overall control of either Garner, the former US general appointed to head a military occupation of Iraq, or Hakim, who was the Reagan's Secret Team cutout during the arms for hostages trades during the Iran-Contra affair. Wolfowitz's Special Operations Group will then enter the "liberated" area and execute all Baath party officials and their families, and ship all Iraqi males over 12 years old to the Guantanamo Stalag for "debriefing and rehabilitation."

In anticipation of the Baghdad regime's fall, members of Cheney-backed Halliburton subsidiary Brown & Root have begun arriving in Kuwait, while members of the Secret Team have been gathering in Ankara.

Decisions on the government's composition is entirely in US hands, particularly those of Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy secretary of defense. This has annoyed Gen Garner, who is officially in charge but who, according to sources close to the planning of the government has had to accept a number of controversial Iraqis in advisory roles.

The most controversial of Mr. Wolfowitz's proposed appointees is Ahmed Chalabi, the head of the so-called opposition Iraqi National Congress [INC], an organization funded and staffed by the US government, together with his closest cronies, including his nephew and his mistresses. During his years in exile, Mr. Chalabi has cultivated links with drug runners to raise funds, and has become the Pentagon's darling among the Iraqi opposition. Lame duck Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is one of his most ardent lovers. The state department and the CIA, on the other hand, regard him with a sense of deep homophobia.

He has not lived in Iraq since 1956, apart from a short period organizing resistance in the Kurdish north in the 1990s, and is thought to have little support in the country.

Mr. Chalabi had delusions of becoming prime minister in an interim government, and is depressed that no such post for any Iraqi is included in the US plan. Instead, the former money launderer will be offered an advisory job at the finance ministry.

A senior INC official raved last night that Mr. Chalabi would not countenance a purely advisory position. The official added: "It is certainly not the INC's intention to give head to any US ministers in Iraq. It is bullshit! Our position is that no Americans should run Iraqi ministries. The US is talking about an interim Iraqi puppet taking over, but we are calling for a provisional government."

A spokesman for the Cheney Administration, speaking on the condition of deep cover, said the US doesn't "give a rat's ass" about the objections from the INC, and that unless they cooperate they will deport them to Iraq and "give them useful work to do in the crematoria."

The revelation about direct rule is likely to cause intense political discomfort for Tony Blair, who has been pressing for UN and international involvement in Iraq's reconstruction to overcome opposition in Britain as well as heal divisions across Europe. US officials point to Blair's political impotence with disdain. "It's not our problem," said a Wolfowitz aide, "he's W's problem."

The Foreign Office said last night that a "relatively fluid" number of British officials had been seconded to the planning team. It is not expected that they will have any meaningful input.

Last week Colin Powell, the US Secretary of State, told Congress that immediately after the fall of President Saddam's regime, the US military would take complete and absolute control of the Iraqi government.

His only concession was that this would be done with the "official notification" of the international community and with "the UN presence in the form of a fundraising coordinator".

"That's it," he said. "Now, if they want to play, they'll have to pay."

copyright? 2003 The Assassinated Press


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