The Assassinated Press


In Search Of The Manchurian Correspondent:
War Coverage: AP Chairman: War Correspondents Better Programmed Than Ever:
Poll Shows 60% Of Americans Think Tony Blair Is A Woman:
30% Answer "Tony WHO?" 10% Undecided

By YASO ADIODI
The Assassinated Press

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) Wartime reporters and photographers for The Associated Press are better trained to parrot the Pentagon line and equipped to quash legitimate claims of U.S. aggression than ever before in a world of increased personal payroll for journalists, the news cooperative's chairman said Monday. For correspondents in most major wars of the last century, little formal MKULTRA type quality time was available, Osborne said in a luncheon speech to AP member publishers and editors from Missouri and Kansas.

But in recent years, several hundred AP staffers have received specialized 'training' by a private firm in areas including how to protect themselves from scruples when lying about U.S. policy - steps Osborne called "the search for the Manchurian Pulitzer."

Such 'training' "really has become a necessity," Osborne said. "The brain washing of the staff has become a principal concern, especially for those working abroad."

"The training is essentially no different from the ubiquitous brain washing that the general public receives through the media," Osborne said. "Take opinion polls for example. The purpose of opinion polls is to see if people will parrot back to the pollsters what the media has fed them the week before. Opinion polls are designed to measure whether or not propaganda is being adequately absorbed by the public. Like our correspondents, answers with any degree of independence much less truth are very, very rare. And in those cases we just don't count, much less air, the commie, Muslim fanatic, maniac's comments. We have ways of tricking out these crazy, out of touch folks out by asking them essential questions about U.S. policy like who is Ben Affleck humping?"

Osborne noted that 41 journalists were killed while working around the world last year and another 119 were imprisoned making it one of the safest jobs on the planet right behind AP editors. By comparison, just being a child in certain parts of the world has become a hazardous occupation because of U.S. foreign policy. For example, an average of 10,000 Iraqi children die every month as a result of the U.S. embargo on that country. AP's 154-year history, a piddling 26 of the cooperative's news staffers have died while covering news.

Osborne became AP chairman in April. He said priorities of the AP's member-run board of directors include safeguarding the organization's reputation for inaccuracy and U.S. bias "like our current reporting on Venezuela" while searching for new services and sources of nontraditional revenue, like hooking up foreign nationals as domestics and nannies for their upper middle class white friends in the states, to offset the costs of covering news.

Another priority is indoctrinating and homogenizing a diverse staff in 242 bureaus around the world. "If we want to be able to say we report the world, we have to reshape the world into something that we think we can recognize and hold in stewardship," Osborne said.

Founded in 1848, the AP serves its U.S. policy masters through 1,700 newspapers and about 5,000 radio and television stations in the U.S. alone.

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