Putting the Harmony in Downward Harmonization. BLAME AMERICA FIRST. IT SAVES TIME.
The Assassinated Press--Accepting the Truth So America Doesn't Have to.*** Cynicism in the defense of liberty is no vice***The Truth Will Never Go Viral.***
The only place to spit in a rich man's house is in his face"-Diogenes of Sinope.
THE ASSASSINATED PRESS: A Magazine of Contempt *Shoving Truth in the Mouths of Liars*
"I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half."-- Jay Gould, Robber Baron & Wall Street Speculator
Believing the absolute worst about the United States gives you tremendous predictive powers.
"If the lions don't like it, they won't eat it." Daniel Drew, Robber Baron & Wall Street Speculator
To paraphrase Peter Carlson of the Washington Post: "If someone tried to reveal what really goes on in Washington, he'd start howling like a banshee..." The Assassinated Press is that banshee.
The Assassinated Press is NOT copyrighted and may be reproduced and disseminated in any form whatsoever.
Success of Twitter Result of Short Attention Spans Caused by Mercury Poisoning Researchers Say
By LUTHER LISTER
Local Police Forces Use Domestic Violence as Their Model
By BRACK TURL
Four Members of Duck Dynasty Cast Shot at Fort Worth Gun Show, Two Dead, Two Wounded.
“They had beards. We thought they was Muzlums,” shooters say.
Beloved Sadie among the dead.
By Charlie Whitman
Candy Magnate and President Elect of Ukraine, Petro Poroshenko, Meets with IMF.
IMF lays out austerity plan for Ukraine whereby most workers will be paid in candy bars.
Move set to improve productivity with entire population on a ‘sugar high’.
Country to be flooded with CIA heroine. Candy to provide relief for those impoverished millions that can't afford 'High Grade Agency Shit'.
By GOOBER REESE
US’s Uribe Look-Alike Fuck Puppet Manages a Run Off in the CIA's Drug Factory, Colombia.
In a desperate effort o head off peace talks with FARC, Uncle Slimey backs ‘more war’ asshole.
Peace agreement with FARC would lead to the rebel group winning the majority of local and municipal elections and could put a damper on CIA cocaine smuggling. “We prefer to make up our operational shortfall with drug smuggling in our black budget rather than begging Congress,” CIA spokesperson Josh Fattal said.
With no FARC 60% of the electorate abstains from voting.
By JOHN HULL
Boko Haram kidnapped schoolgirls under a US funded outsource contract with Dyncorp to supply hundreds of slaves to ex-pats living in the UAE, Brunei and Saudi Arabia
By BUTCH KASADIETSCH
Matinee Idol, George Clooney, suggests soccer match to settle oil strife in South Sudan
By ANGINA JELLEE
Lady Gaga rescheduled: Pop idol turned down offer to play point guard for Wizards in game 6 to avoid scheduling conflict
By JAY SWIFT
Koch Brothers offer Don Sterling $5 Billion for the Clippers with an eye toward breaking the union and re-segregating American professional sports
By DUTSH BAGG
Several thousand amputee victims of US bombing and drone raids refused a spot in the Boston Marathon
By PATSY PATRIOT
Americans willing to “Shit where they eat.”
New Post-ABC News poll: Americans overwhelmingly favor shitting in their own country with Keystone XL pipeline project rather than shitting in someone else’s country.
By JULIE ASSWIPE and SCOTT TISSUE
The Assassinated Press
March 7, 2014
Exclusive: Read the Speech Venezuelan Opposition Leader Leopoldo López Made Before He Was Jailed
TRANSLATION by REGGIE WEDGIE
Public Relations Sensation, Pussy Riot Girls, Busted in New York for Defiling Cathedral
District Attorney for Greater New York Seeks the Death Penalty
By TOMMY TORKDADA
With Afghan drawdown ongoing, U.S. to set up center in Bahrain to continue drug smuggling
By ERMUSTO LONGDONGO
January 15 , 2014
Duck Dynasty family warns Phil if he queers their millions in endorsement deals he better watch his back when they go duck hunting.
Brother Si says “I fragged my share of West Point shave tails during the time I was hallucinating I was in Nam. One more bandy legged Louisiana frat boy ain’t gonna make no difference to me.”
By TINY TOMBS
Retail Scientology: Garry Trudeau writes sitcom for Jeff Bezos about 20 retirees living in a 400 square foot trailer in the middle of the desert and working in an Amazon distribution center.
Creator of Doonesbury chronicles wacky Nordhausen working conditions for aging American work force.
By HELEN EARTH
Duck Dynasty Patriarch that dissed buttfucking admits he may not have been doing it right.
In another brilliant political maneuver, the Tea Party rallies around Phil Robertson shoring up the .03% swamp vote.
Been to any 'Happy, Happy, Happy' lynchings lately Sarah, you worthless cunt.
By SWIMPY CUBICLE
Pardoned Gobbler Goes on Shooting Rampage
Popcorn the Turkey Kills 16 at Poultry Processing Plant
By CHET OTTO LUK
US Military to Go With an All-Rapist Volunteer Army.
To Avoid Outside Scrutiny of In-House Rape the Armed Forces to Meet Quotas with Rapists Only.
By ADMIRAL BEAUREGARD HASTY
Assassinating an Assassination: Charles and David Koch Confess/Finance a Willingness to Murder JFK.
In New Documentary Koch Brothers Prove JFK Was Made Out of Plywood.
By IMA PATSYRAY CLINE
Incognito Speaks Out: “If I’m such a racist why have I gone down on more black men than Lisa Lampanelli?”
“If I’m such a chauvinist why do I parade my saggy bro-bies in public places.”
“If I’m so threatening why is my family still alive?”
Lara Logan comes clean: “I’m just a war hag. That’s why I keep fucking up.”
By PHYLLIS MCMUFFIN STEWPOT SCHLAFLY
As the Island Nation sinks into the Indian Ocean, the US launches another coup against Nasheed in the Maldives.
Are Americans really turds? Depends on who you ask.
By JUNK YARD GOD
The peasants giving you trouble?
JUST PUT A JSOC IN 'EM.
The Joint Special Operations Command. Baby killers to the corporate starz!
By BILLY ‘FOUR NIPPLES’ McRAVENMAD
Cucci-Coo-Coo: Michelle Duggar, Mother on “19 Kids and Counting” Expecting Number 20.
“The first three were Jim Bob’s, the next 10 were trucker fucks, then three by the Lord and, now, three by me eldest son,” Duggar told a cheering crowd while counting on her fingers and toes.
“I pray one day Michelle will honor me with a self-righteous, unprincipled rug rat, we can call our own,” the Papist, Ken ‘Cooch’ Cuccinelli, tells the crowd.
“Smells like loaves and fishes up in here,” Jesus said.
By MAUD VILLE
“I need this fuckin’ federal highway to get to my protest of the federal government!”
Tea Party tears up a stretch of Federal Highway in protest calling the highway ‘government interference’.
Tea Party Truckers on their way to protest Obamacare in Washington blocked by roadway’s destruction.
Volunteer Tea Party Deprogrammers offer hope to afflicted families.
WILE E. CHAOTY
As the ‘Death Grip’ of the Federal Shutdown tightens the military industrial Beltway Bandits create Furrows for Furloughs program
Rand Paul’s ‘swords into ploughshares’ rapidly becoming a reality
By WES WACKAMOLE
Tea Party members burn their Medicare/Medicaid cards at Sioux City rally.
“I don’t give a shit if the Koch brothers are a couple of spewing tailpipes my bigotry has fitted me and families my mouth around. As long as they’re white and they're Christian.”
By BLAZE GUNFAT
A People’s History of Koch Industries: How Stalin Funded the Tea Party Movement
By Yasha Levine
Monsanto has been genetically modifying its employees for decades.
By GENE SPLICER
Woman, infant in car cause Hill Republicans to soil themselves in terror.
Afraid an attack was directed at them House GOP proves it’s mental.
Make government appear unworkable. Any government that is not corporate that is: Tea Party admits Obamacare is not the issue. Dismantling of entitlements and deregulation in preparation for a National Socialist takeover by the Koch Brothers is reason for shutdown.
By PATSY CLONEY
The Koch Brothers Spend Millions to Send Tea Party Members to Insurance ‘Navigator’ Instruction in Yet Another Move to Sabotage Obamacare.
Koch Brothers Plan to Have Their Navigator Shills Provide False Information to Those Seeking Insurance Advice.
By HANLEY HUMPPUNCH
Bill Maher Gave Obama One Million Dollars to Avoid Doing Time for a Drug Bust.
HBO Comic Caught in NSA Sting.
By TOADY KRAUTHIMMLER
US Steps-Up Its Sabotage Campaign Against Venezuelan Government
Conoco Phillips, Venezuelan Oligarchs Aid Sabotage
Number of Venezuelans with Access to Clean Water and Electricity Increased Exponentially Under Chavez
Venezuelan Oligarchs Declare Poor Venezuelans Are Unworthy of Clean Water. Uncle Slimey Agrees.
By MARY S. SHERMAN
Study Shows Daily Stresses of Wealth Take Mental Toll
Lying, Fraud, Murder and Cruelty Required of People of Great Wealth Creates an ‘Impregnable Shell of Sociopathic Behavior’ to Form Around the Subject
Similarly the Stresses of the Military Promote Psychopathology
By TAMALE BLOOM
Reza Aslan’s Controversial Book ‘Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth’ bears an Uncanny Resemblance to an Obscure Title Published in Early 2012.
‘The Canaanite Gospel: A Meditation on Empire’ Brings to Life the Historical Jesus and his Times through a series of 88 Vivid Monologues.
By Cyril Connolly
US Chamber of Commerce Study Warned Muslim Brotherhood Were ‘Poor Consumers.’
At June 16th meeting 16 US corporate heads that receive hundreds of millions in credits for providing Egyptian foreign aid complained to Obama about lack of arms, pornography, men’s designer thongs in a Morsi run Egypt.
Will the Egyptian Military be Content to Play Washington’s Proxy in Destruction of Brotherhood?
By DANK E. WANK
The City of Detroit To Be Re-Chartered as a Bank Qualifying for an Immediate Bailout and Fed Money at 0% Interest
"First Public Employees Pay Into Their Pension Fund Which Is Then Invested On Wall Street In the Form of Bonds Where Their Value Is Destroyed By Wall Street Bankers and Brokerages, So When the Time Comes to Pay Off On the Pensions There’s No Money, So the City Declares Bankruptcy, Sells Off All of Its Assets For Pennies On the Dollar To the Very Wall Street Thugs That Robbed the Pensions In the First Place." SWEET!
Obama, Cheney, Bill Clinton, Alan Greenspan, Bernie Madoff, Larry Summers, Tim Geitner endorse the Plan
Bondholders and CEOs Will Be Paid With Interest; Cuts Still Inevitable for Public Service Workers
By ROBERT RUBINS
Rick Perry Says if his 2016 Presidential Campaign Fails, Texas Will Secede from the Union
Joint Chiefs Eager to Have the Contiguous Sovereign Nation of Texas So that They Can Invade the Fucker and Steal All of its Natural Resources as it Would Any Ignorant, Third World Backwater
By SMOKEY STOVER
NSA Offers to Update Your Facebook Page for a Small Fee
New Service to Recoup Some of the Billions Spent on Domestic and Economic Espionage
By TED SHACKLEY & WALTER PINCUS
Koch Brothers Unveil Plan to Turn Detroit’s ‘Tar Sands Mountain’ Into Ski Slope and Luxury Resort
Rick Snyder Strikes Deal on “Behalf of All Michigonians”
“Nothing the Koch’s Own Ever Goes Bankrupt. Not With Corporate Welfare and Corvee Labor,” David Koch Reassures Wall Street Investors
By CON GLOMERATE
How Harvard Taught Me to Despise the Constitution And Made Me the O.J. Simpson of American Politics.
By Barack Obama
Through Outsourcing Corporations Have Literally Bought the US Intelligence Apparatus
Six Degrees of Corporate Investment Separates the NSA, US Intelligence from Wall Street? Try None.
By IDA TARBELL
Brought to You by OSHA: OSHA Buys Four 30 Second Spots on Reality Show
History Channel’s Ax Men Showcases Drug and Alcohol Abuse on the Job
By WYLIE COYOTE
David Koch Rushed to Fargo Hospital Complaining of Shortness of Breath
Koch Found Disconnecting Feeding Tubes in the Hospital Nursery and ICU; Avoids Prosecution by Buying Hospital
By E. COWARD CUNT
Director of National Intelligence James Clapper Offered to Pay Edward Snowden’s Ex-Girlfriend for Sex
Koch Brothers Say US’s Spying Initiatives Infringe on Their Own Domestic Spying
Most Americans Fearing Retribution from Government and Corporations Say They Are OK with Surveillance
By CLAWFOOT ANNIE
Barack Obama’s Speech to the 2013 Harvard Law School & Kennedy School of Diplomacy Graduation Classes
By BOOB PARSONS
Charles Koch Cuts Off Thumbs with Power Saw
Koch While Sawing Up Bodies of Dead Prostitutes, Miss Americas, Playboy Bunnies, Trannies and Ballerinas with his Brother David, in David’s Park Avenue Apartment Severs his Last Connection with Humanity
By DAVY JOBBY
David Koch’s Prostate Cancer Returns. Doctors Give Him Three Months To Live.
Billionaire sought to take millions of Americans to the grave with him.
Caudillo of the Tea Party Makes Appeal to Heaven; Is Directed Due South to the Headquarters of the Red States.
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it".--- Mark Twain
Cancer Returns in Three Other Brothers --- One Hopes.
U.S.-trained Congolese troops trained in rape and other atrocities by US, U.N. says
When a death squad just isn’t enough: American Forces have perfected rape in their own ranks and trained, supplied and financed thousands of third world units in the art of violent sexual assault.
By GROG LIPLOCK
Juan Forero and the Washington Post Working with the Obama Regime and Venezuelan Oiligarchy to Overthrow Maduro.
The Other Global Warming: Neo-Liberals Seeking to Match Neo-Cons 'Success' in Middle East With 'Latin American Spring' Starting with the Overthrow of the Maduro Government.
By ADOLFO CALERO & JOHN HULL
May, 11, 2013
Hagel scraps drone medal after learning tiny drones were used to look up women's skirts.
By STEALY JUGNUTS
April 15, 2013
TALES OF BLING AN SICH?
High Level US Brass In Iraq Involved in Cannibalism!
Photo Shows Col. James Steele and Col. James Coffman Chowing Down on the Torso of a Young Child Along with Iraqi Collaborators
The Christic Institute fingered Steele back in the eighties while the Post and Times were still fingering themselves
By ALBERT FISH
The NRA opposes U.N. arms treaty on Market Grounds
The Arms Maker’s Lobby that Hides Behind a Sociopath’s Interpretation of the Constitution Goes to Bat for its Big Money Creators
By PETER POON
The Conservative Political Action Conference: Where progress is measured by the fact that the biggest prick in the room may not have one anymore.
By KAREN TUMULTIMEDIA
Kerry Rallies US Proxy Forces in Syria, Sends More Arms Through Jordan, Israel, Turkey
By AYN RANDY and LOVEDAY COCKAWAY
Shop til you drop --- from automatic weapons fire. Women spend a disproportionate amount of money compared to men. So they should embrace combat roles because the front line is essential for the theft of world’s raw materials that go into the manufacturer of all the shit females buy.
Worried about too much fucking between male and female combat troops? Make all combat troops female for the next forty years and then switch back to the swinging dicks in, say, 2053.
Q: What do Obama and a Pedophile Priest Have in Common?
By HATTRICK ONERY
An immodest proposal. ‘You Kill It - You Eat It’ rule to be extended to human victims.
Perpetrators, their families, owners of the same weapons used in the murder must eat the victims of gun violence.
Owners chosen by lottery from Koch Industries facial recognition devices currently scanning the crowd at the Las Vegas Gun Show.
JON SWIFT & CARRIE OWEN DE YOUNG
Gun related homicides found to prevent 6000 heart attacks a year.
US researchers cite gun violence as factor contributing to shorter lives and poorer health.
When the Black Panthers formed a ‘Well-regulated militia’ in the 1960’s and 1970’s, the NRA objected. Why, O, why would the NRA deny their black brothers and sisters the right to bear arms?
NRA’s plan to increase gun violence is a sound one.
The world is wasted on the rich. All the violent, fascist desires of the corporate aristocracy will be met under LaPierre’s plan.
Shit from a turd. Or I smell a phony. If the Koch brothers come to take his guns will Alex Jones stand his ground? Or why does he preach Jules Archer’s book The Plot to Seize the White House, but not practice it? Hmmm.
Alex Jones Just Looks Miserable, Frothing like Old Yeller. Rabies?
Alex Jones bloviates about the corporate aristocracy yet is too cowardly to do anything about it.
Radio talking head criticizes Bohemian Grove, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Koch brothers, Genesis Communication Network etc. but as yet has not fired the shot heard around the world which frees us from this corporate aristocracy.
Instead, Jones while simultaneously getting rhino hynied by all four Koch boys, wails and flings feces as Piers Morgan, rest of America look on in utter belief.
By SKIP ROWE 1/8/13
Hey shithead, put down the meth pipe. Obama and Biden are coming for your guns.
Only one honorable thing for gun owners to do. Commit ritual suicide.
Why waste reality on the Saved? Just consider it a less speculative form of the Rapture.
From Union roots to Confederate shits: With Obama’s election the NRA pulled off its mask to air out its KKK hood.
By ERIC REEVES
EXPOSING U.S. AGENTS OF LOW-INTENSITY WARFARE IN AFRICA
The "Policy Wonks" Behind Covert Warfare & Humanitarian Fascism
This special report includes three unpublished video clips of interviewees from the Politics of Genocide documentary film project: Ugandan dignitary Remigius Kintu, former Rwandan prime minister Fautisn Twagiramungu, and Nobel peace prize nominee Juan Carrero Saralegui.
Published: 8 August 2012
Revisions: 9 August 2012
Revisions: 13 August 2012
keith harmon snow
Conscious Being Alliance
From the 1980s to today, an elite group of Western intelligence operatives have backed low-intensity guerrilla warfare in certain African 'hotspots'. Mass atrocities in the Great Lakes and Sudan can be linked to Roger Winter, a pivotal U.S. operative whose 'team' was recently applauded for birthing the world's newest nation, South Sudan. Behind the fairytale we find a long trail of blood and skeletons from Uganda to Sudan, Rwanda and Congo. While the mass media has covered their tracks, their misplaced moralism has simultaneously helped birth a new left-liberal 'humanitarian' fascism. In this falsification of consciousness, Western human rights crusaders and organizations, funded by governments, multinational corporations and private donors, cheer the killers and blame the victims---and pat themselves on the back for saving Africa from itself. Meanwhile, the "Arab Spring" has spread to (north) Sudan. Following the NATO-Israeli model of regime change being used in Central & North Africa, it won't be long before the fall of Khartoum.
UAE outraged at filmmaker’s characterization of Abu Dhabi as an enemy of America.
“Apparently this Koch whore, McALeer, doesn’t know shit about shit.” --- Michael ‘Creamhole’ Corbin, US Ambassador to the UAE.
Koch brothers and their lap dog Phelim McAleer counting on Americans to be too stupid to know the United Arab Emirates is a US ally. Stop Counting. They're right.
By WILLUM BUTTER YORCAKES
Virtually every member of any rebel group in Central Africa holds several advanced degrees in the sciences, engineering and finance.
15 year old gun toting soldiers have Phds. in physics, chemistry, spectroscopy, geology, mineralogy, engineering etc.
“Its just fucking bankster b-hole amazing! Gangs of rag tag 15 year old boy soldiers in Central Africa who speak six languages and have multi-billion dollar lines of credit with the largest western banks!”
Americans Prepare to Gun Down More of Their Kids as Sales of Semi-Automatic Rifles Reach Sociopathological Proportions.
NRA, gunowners see children under 8 as main threat to unbridled gunownership.
Utah to arm teachers: “Little Johnnie’s less likely to act up in class if Teach is strapped with a Glock,” Governor Herbert Declares.
Gunowners continue to ignore the Second Amerndment. No “well-regulated militia” in sight. Race still a huge factor in increased gun sales.
By CHARLES KOCH 12/27/12
CIA floods Brazil with crack.
Miffed at two consecutive moderate socialist governments and economic markers surpassing those of the US, the CIA has used its Colombian connection to flood Brazil with crack.
“It’s just like South Central and beyond in the US when we brought in contra-cocaine,” Oliver North tells his radio audience.
By JUAN FORERO
New company will edit out any reference to religion in Hollywood films.
‘Faith Dump’ cleans movies of any religious references.
Radicals defiant: NRA turns its back on the Second Amendment; refuses to join a “Well regulated militia.” Not even to beat back the black helicopters and blue helmets of the UN.
Lindsey Graham declares he’s not a threat to society. But given his voting record many harbor doubts.
When you’re given a lemon, make lemonade. “I’ve got a large fortune wrapped up in guns and private security. Hurray for this Lanza kid. Guns in schools!!!” --- Walter LaPierre
HONORE DE BALLZITCH
NRA wants to turn school masscare into WPA style jobs program.
Now your gunman won’t have to make a special trip to the school to gun down your children, HE’LL WORK THERE!!
300,000 to 400,000 thousand new guards needed from the ranks of high school dropouts as security guards fatten portfolios of Wackenhut, Dyncorp and the Koch Brothers.
Could the NRA become constitutional and be “well regulated?”
If the assholes at the NRA claim you can defend yourself with firearms, why have THEY asked for extra police protection. Defend yourselves, you motherfucking cowards. And stop using my fucking tax money.
By BARRY STERN
The NRA is right. The answer to less killing is more killing --- But the Corporate Aristocracy must be the target.
Koch Brothers remain confident propaganda is enough to keep people from killing them!!
“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Then improve the people. Ask gunowners to kill themselves.”
From Rick Perry's syphillitic brain, "arm teachers." But should demonized Union Teachers be allowed to carry guns around our innocent ‘right to work’ children?
By A. FUJIMORI & V. MONTESINOS
Is the NRA the American Taliban? Or do they lack the courage.
After Connecticut Slaughter of Innocence, NRA Issues a Statement, “Watch out! Obama’s Coming For Your Guns.”
Until September of this year, according to the US State Department, the Taliban was not a terrorist group. Neither was the NRA.
Robber Baron Jay Gould’s slogan “I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.” is playing itself out all over America every day in our places of worship and work and in our schoolyards as the Koch Brother, organized crime and others finance Gun Anarchy.
“Gee, I hope the Koch brothers and their family are safe from gun violence now that there’s a bounty on them.”
By I. R. SANCHEZ
"Nuclear, ecological, chemical, economic — our arsenal of Death by Stupidity is impressive for a species as smart as Homo sapiens"
A brief history of Superpowers
The United Nations vote on the Cuba embargo — 21 years in a row
Placing American presidents in their proper context
Films on US foreign policy
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Anti-Empire Report
December 11th, 2012
Obama Narrowly Averts Coup D'etat Because US Generals Cannot Keep Their Cocks in Their Camo.
Koch Brothers, Adelman etc. Financed Coup, Plotted Out by Right Wing Think Tanks and Led by Petraeus and the CIA. But All Was Jizzed Away by Generals.
Tabula Gaza: Netanyahoo, Mossad Pissed at CIA’s Failure to Hit Obama Take It out on Palestinians.
The Assassinated Press
Don’t be an asshole on African affairs.
Read keith harmon snow "an independent journalist, war correspondent and photographer who has also worked as a genocide investigator and consultant to the United Nations and other international bodies. He has won three Project Censored awards for his Central Africa reportage, is a member of the Asiana Press Agency (www.Asiana-Press-Agency.com), and he also recently worked in Afghanistan."
For reporting the truth, snow is now persona non grata at the United Nations and at all NGOs as well as virtually all of the Western media. In other words he’s highly credible. Really unimpeachable.
Syria, the story thus far
Can you believe that I almost feel sorry for the American military?
In case you're distressed about the possibility of a Romney-Ryan government, here's some good news:
By WILlIAM BLUM The Anti-EMPIRE Report
October 2nd, 2012
Burmese/Myanmar Human Rights Activist Slams Pussy Riot Girls.
By NOOKI RUKI
Tape Surfaces of Meeting Between Rahm Emanuel, Scott Walker and the Koch Brothers on How to Bust the Chicago Teachers Union.
Charles Koch Heard Expressing Admiration for the Ludlow Massacre and Quoting Jay Gould --- “I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.”
By DIMPLE FUGGIT
US Says It Has No Intention of Seeking Extradition of Assange.
State Department SpokesShit Lies That the US Had Anything To Do with the UK’s Efforts to Extradite Assange.
Obama Adminstration’s Horseshit Duplicity Resembles the Very Horsehit Duplicity Found in the Diplomatic Cables Released by Wikileaks.
“What four year old can’t see through Obama’s shit. It’s so Stinky and Watery and Post Dulles Brothers.”
If you’re an American the truth will make you dissolve like a slug under a dump truck load of road salt.
Vote Obama. He lies just like Whitey.
Published August 21, 2012
Eat Pussy, America. Americans, All Pussy. No Riot.
US and its flunkies defend Pussy Riot while the rest of the world defends Assange.
FOX loves it some Pussy.
PR Speak or Free Speech. America is a Cunt. O Excuse me --- Pussy.
By PERCY ROTGUT
The United States and its comrade-in-arms, Al Qaeda. And other tales of an empire gone mad.
Bring back the guillotine
Items of interest from a journal I've kept for 40 years, part VII
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Anti-Empire Report
August 10th, 2012
Clinton Says, “We Really Fucked Up by Arming the Syrian Rebels. They Hate the US More than the Assad Regime and the Rest of the Middle East.”
Civil war mix of Islamists, foreign radicals, sectarian hate fuels fear over US control of post-Assad Syria.
US Special Forces members beheaded by Syrian rebels.
By WILLY F. BUCKY
“Praise a Spiteful Jesus for the Koch Brothers, Twin Porn Stars of the Apocalypse."
Koch Brothers Invest Tens of Millions in White, Christian Porn Initiative.
XXX Designed to Promote Greater Breeding Among White Race.
Karl Rove and Grover Norquist Slated to Become the Ron Jeremy and Peter North of the New Fundamentalist Porn. Ralph Reed to Star as the Tom Hardy of Family Based Porn.
By TUBBY QUEEF
DOD Brings Down India’s Power Grid in Grand Experiment, Tries to Blame ‘Jester’ Using the Hacker’s Moniker ‘Tango Down’.
Indian Grid to 600 Million People Back Up in One Day after DOD Attack. PEPCO?
US Armed and Led Syrian rebels seize rural territory while Assad forces focus on major cities
By LOOSY SHYTE
'Ghost Taser’ Revolutionizes Spiritualism, Military.
Apparitions ‘Gel’ After Being Struck by Ionizing Taser.
By CASPAR FRIENDLY
The Dark Knight Rose In America A Fucking Long Time Ago.
13 Remaining Colorado Gunshows in July Need Not Be Concerned Attendance Might Be Down After Shootings, According to NRA Poll.
So Many Funerals Will Not Deter Enthusiasts.
NRA Steps In with Door Prizes of Semi-Automatics, Body Armor, Flags, Bumper Stickers, Stun Guns, Caches of Armor Piercing Ammo, Magic Kevlar Underpants with Nut Knicker Protection, Free Viewing of ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’
NRA’s David Keene --- “Fuck the Second Amendment. We prefer our rank and file be functionally illiterate and we work hard to promote ignorance. The NRA’s all about the money.”
By JON WAN
5000 Year Afghan Civilization Suddenly Cannot Rule Itself After Uncle Slimey Bombs and Strafes It For Ten Years.
“We did just fine for millennia before these colonial and neo-colonial fucks showed up.”
Are Karzai Officials Vichy Traitors?
By JOCK PARTLO
July 17, 2012
Road head resulting in fatal crash offers rare look at U.S. commando presence in Mali, worldwide.
How Special are these Commando Dildos? Jesus would like to know.
By CRAY SHITLOOK
Corruption in US still a problem as international donors meet over Afghan Aid. US Financial Sector Singled Out.
London Banking Cartel Called 'Irredeemably Corrupt'; 'Scaffold Worthy'.
By FULIMI WONCE & FULIMI TWISSE
'Here Comes the Sun.’ Here Comes Ra.
By LENNY UBATZ
JP Morgan Withholds E-Mails That Show Depraved Behavior.
What's Jamie Dimon Been Fucking Besides You?
By TOM SHAMBAG
Elliott Abrams Confesses US Was Behind Disappearances, Baby Thefts in Argentina’s Dirty War.
By CLONE PONE
No shelter from the drones of infinite justice or the bacteria of enduring freedom
Barack Obama, his mother, and the CIA
How the owners of a society play with their property
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Anti-Empire Report
July 3rd, 2012
Jim Inhofe’s Power to be Out 7 to 10 Days Due to Storm.
Senator Wastes No Time Requesting Special Treatment As Millions of Locals Suffer.
Grandchildren Build ‘Igloo’ Out of Thawed Rancid Meat from the Family Freezer and Assorted Dead Pets.
By Process of Elimination Inhofe Blames Jesus for Global Climate Change.
By FUCK AWFF
End Rapes in the Military: Bring Back the Molly Mule.
Pack Animal Source of Much Comfort and Sexual Relief Among Early Imperialist US Forces.
By O.B. TRUDAT
Obama Proposes Solution to Unemploymant --- War With Russia!! --- and China!!!
Clinton accuses Russia of selling attack helicopters to Syria. Says US/NATO is the only set of international thugs allowed to sell arms.
By COLUM YNCH and JIZZY LIZZY
US, UN, NATO Gets Its Dirty War in Syria.
With Mild Washington Summer Comes Pleasant News of More Bloodshed in Middle East, North Africa.
Sad Xenophobic Hick, Jim Breuer, Makes Transition from Mere Asshole to Kleptocratic Asset.
By LOOCY SLOP
Bloomberg, NYPD Are Brutish Anti-Semites.
By RUDEY AFANCULIANI
Syrian Rebels and al-Qaeda Terrorists Get Cornucopia of Arms, Cash, Training, Intelligence, Bombs and Special Forces Support from US Through Gulf ‘Neighbors’.
REAL NEIGHBORLY, HUH?
By KAREN DUWRONG and LETITTE SLYDE
May 15, 2012
Blasts Rock Syrian Capital.
Twin Bombings Bear al-Qaeda/CIA Hallmarks.
Taking a Page from the Reagan Playbook, Obama Works Hand in Hand with al-Qaeda.
“It’s just like the old days when we were fucking with the Soviets in Afghanistan,” CIA Spokesman Confirms.
BY SLEEZE SLYZY & JOBBY WARWICK
May, 11, 2012
Putting Syria into some perspective
President Obama's accomplishments
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Anti-Empire Report
April 6th, 2012
Why Make Ozzie Lie?
By HOPE YAPYOOKE & DI FACEDOWN
Inflationary Fiat Currency Has Driven Up What U.S. Pays Families of Afghan Victims in Massacres to $50,000 Each.
In Vietnam Blood Money Was Only $35.00.
By BEA ELZABUB
The Saga of Bradley Manning, Julian Assange, and Wikileaks, to be put to ballad and film
By WILLIAM BLUM
The Anti-Empire Report
March 5th, 2012
The Anality of Evil: Enlisting in Military to Murder People in Their Beds, in Their Homelands for Wall Street Banksters and International Kleptocrats IS a Sign of Low IQ, Not to Mention a Lack of a Moral Base.
Fairfax County, VA Home to Stooges for The Military Industrial Complex Is to a Certainty the Most Immoral County in the US Which Is Sure as Fuck Saying Something.
Fairfax County debates booby prize for high school graduates enlisting in military. Are These Kids Too Dumb to Read Major-General Smedley Darlington Butler’s “WAR IS A RACKET!’ I know mom’s too dumb. But Fuck! It’s Only Fucking 80 Pages. And It May Save Your Fucking Legs, Or Your Balls. Or Your Life. Or your bloody sanity. And its online:
By ENEMA BRAUNLICHER
Breitbart Dies of a Broken Heart. Or, At Least an Enlarged One.
In Late Night Phone Calls to His Psychiatrist, Bar Tender, Coke Dealer, Suicide Hot Line, Breitbart Revealed Stress Of Being a Lying Shitbag and Working Every Day with Lying Shitbags.
Besides a Just God Who Would Want to Kill Breitbart?
By STEVE DOUCHEY
Romney Margin of Victory In Michigan Was Huge Because Media Doesn’t Read Its Own Exit Polls.
53% of Santorum’s Vote Came from Democrats Who Wanted to Derail Romney Nomination.
By RALF CHOWMAIN
Israeli, US, Media’s Bloodlust to Attack Iran Rises to a Fever Pitch!
BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD Chant the Surgically Enhanced Media Beards as long as it’s not their children being bombed.
US Intelligence won’t go along. Tells warmongers to FUCK OFF!
Sixteen separate US intelligence agencies tell Clinton and Obama “We don’t want any part of your dirty, motherfucking war you filthy fucking criminal freaks.”
U.S. does not believe Iran is trying to build nuclear bomb. But that doesn’t stop the pussies in the media calling for more people to die.
By FUK YU
February 23, 2012, 6:11 p.m
Rip Van Winkle Regains Consciousness
Van Winkle: U.S. "Slipping Into A Fascist System"
By ALFIE PUTZLICKER
February 19, 2012
Heavy Metal: Diaper Music for the Fighting Man!
By SISSY METALMOUTH
Former Bush Officials, Others Appear to be Victims of Extraordinary Rendition.
Shilling for Terrorist Group Lands Several Former US Officials in Secret Prisons.
Violation of National Defense Authorization Act Cited as Reason for Imprisonment.
By WILD BILL DOUCHEBAG
National Defense Authorization Act Is a Perfect Fit for the American Psyche.
The Self-Censorship of the Great American Bald Lemming.
The Great American Bald Lemming is one dumb Motherfucker.
Capitalism Proves That a Highly Developed Brain Is Just Another Evolutionary Dead End.
By DEWEY CHEETUM
Decades of Agency Meddling In South Sudan leads to a wave of destabilization and killings.
Object to Drive Chinese Oil Interests Out.
CIA=Cult of Inebriated Assholes.
By Sudsy Ragu
When the Kleptocrats Cry and Whimper About Their Individual Rights That They themselves Have Perverted Or Eliminated For Their Own Ends, Don’t Come Whining to the 99% For Mercy.
By TUNNELL VIJON
Company Lawyers Claim Navy Seals Are the Genetically Altered Intellectual Property of Monsanto. Monsanto Asks US For $3 Trillion in Compensation; All Offspring Property of Company.
Supreme Court Agrees Along Papal Lines.
Sixty Percent of US Cyber-Security Hires Are Members of Anonymous.
By LUNI POONI
Bill Gates pushes ‘debt revolution’ for small farms in developing world.
By WARD SCHNEID
Rick Perry defends Marines caught urinating on Taliban corpses.
“I urinate in public all of the time. I urinate on my dog. I urinate in my wife’s mouth.”---Perry Says.
Public urination in Texas encouraged because it improves the smell.
Marines Say Urination Is Corps’ New Way of Marking Territory.
By FONT DE LEON
Congress/Obama’s Military Lock Down of American Citizens Designed to Protect Wall Street Banksters/Corporate Kleptocracy from Attack.
Like Egypt, Generals In Control of US Security.
How Is Terrorist Defined? If You Breath, You’re Already a Terrorist. Just Depends on When and Why They Want to Get You Out of the Way.
Facts for Four Year Olds --- Elected Officials Are Lying Cunts for the Rich.
By PAIGE TURNER
Obama Sicks Egyptian Military on Republican Funded NGOs Operating in Cairo.
Corporate Sociopaths at War With One Another. Soros and Buffett Foil Koch Brothers.
Thousands Die in Monetary Clash of Titans.
‘Right Wing’ NGOs Attacked on Behalf of US, European Interests. Israel Policy Scapegoated
By BLYTHE SPIROCETE
Liberian President Given Dynamite Prize for Sucking Cock of US Africom Forces in Africa.
Uncle Slimey’s Purchase of Liberian Presidency Puts Permanent Military Bases in Africa.
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf listed as a war criminal by The Truth and Reconciliation Commission yet wins election to the presidency of Liberia and, of course, the Nobel Prize like most war criminals.
By WARNER SCHNITZEL
Tom Cruise Sings the Scientology Blues. Beaucoup Boo-Hoos.
Cruise Says: “I’d Like to Quit Scientology But They Have Tapes of Me That Would Ruin My Career.”
‘Audited’ Sessions Too Revealing,” Star Confesses after One Too Many At a Hollywood Dinner Party.
Cult Has Been Keeping Close Tabs on Cruise for Many Years.
By NUTTY BAGMAN
Hank Paulson Claims He Had Dick Cheney’s Flesh Pistol in His Mouth and the De Facto President Was About to Pull the Trigger ala Harry Whittington but in Spooge Time When Paulson Gave Wall Street Inside Information About the Government's Scheme for the Defrauded Mortgage Giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. “Do you know how difficult it is to get Cheney’s jizz out of a $5000.00 suit?” Paulson Whines.